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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to buy my DS a doll?

45 replies

Dominique07 · 17/02/2010 22:46

I decided I want to buy DS a doll.
There are lots of choices; a boy or a girl, black doll or white doll.
But when I asked OH which one to go for, he was not best pleased at the thought of buying a 'girl's toy' for his son.

I thought it would be good for DS to practise caring for a baby e.g. if he were to have a baby brother or sister in the future, and also to practise dressing and undressing. He is soon going to turn 3.

So, AIBU to buy my son a doll?

OP posts:
StewieGriffinsMom · 17/02/2010 22:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Megletwantsittobesummer · 17/02/2010 22:49

yanbu.

I bought ds a pink dolly when he was 18mo as I was pg with his little sister . It amused me for a while and he played with it for a bit, then ignored it. Although he was spotted trying to bf it after I had dd.

Spidermama · 17/02/2010 22:50

There are many DHs, it has to be said, who are proper arses about this subject and I won't lie - your sounds like he might be one of them.

thisisyesterday · 17/02/2010 22:50

no, you aren't. my 2 eldest both have dolls that they love.
in fact just yesterday i posted a video to facebook of ds1 breastfeeding baby ssammy lol

i would point out to your OH, that HE has a baby. and if that makes him a girl/gay well then... better watch out!

KurriKurri · 17/02/2010 22:50

No, of course not if he'd like one. Can you let him choose which one he likes?

It's a pretend baby - does your DH know where babies come from?

TottWriter · 17/02/2010 22:51

Nope. Gender stereotypes only exust because of parental reinforcement. My 22mo DS pushes trolleys and prams around indiscriminantly at his playgroup, much to the chagrin of my FIL. I'm more worred about the fact that he picks up dolls by their heads than that he picks them up. DP is the same, though does appear to have inherited a dislike of DS having pink things. He didn't know what to do when he asked DS what his favourite colour was and DS said (quite clearly) 'Pink'. He can say about three or four other colours, so it's not like it's the only one he knows.

I say, buy him the doll. He will love having another 'character' to play with, and your DP can go throw his tantrum in private!

JjandtheBeanlovesUnicorns · 17/02/2010 22:52

YANBU

just buy one dressed in blue and ignore him!
Ds loved his baby when his sister arrived now the deranged 15mnth old (we live in fear of her outburst lol) has claimed it he contents himself with leo from little Einsteins in his buggy

serinBrightside · 17/02/2010 22:54

Tell your DH it's 2010.

BooyhooNOTboohoooORbooyou · 17/02/2010 22:54

my OH would be a complete arse about that aswell but if either ds want a doll , then a doll they shall have.

cant help thinking that if OH's mum had bought him a doll he might have been a bit more help with his own children.

i have also painted ds1's nails pink at his request. he is four and often wears my necklaces and puts on my lipgloss. he also plays with tractors and cars and loves to climb trees. he is a child who finds the world a very interesting place.

edam · 17/02/2010 22:57

Of course you can buy your ds a doll if he wants one!

ds has fallen in love with a china doll in the window of the charity shop. After a week of pleading I gave in, even though it's a horrible piece of sub-Franklin-Mint-made-in-Taiwan tat. He is VERY proud and having lots of fun taking her shoes and hat and cloak off and putting them on again. Also kept him entertained while we waited in A&E for three hours tonight (had something stuck in his eye courtesy of the Science Museum, darn them).

Only problem now is he's noticed another charity shop has two of the dratted things in the window...

lucykate · 17/02/2010 23:04

yanbu, ds has played loads with the toy pushchair we have and has claimed one of dd's dolls as his own.

MrsGravy · 17/02/2010 23:07

Nope YANBU. But don't buy that Ciccobello. I bought it for my DS and it's a bloody nightmare - its cry makes you want to cave it's head in.

YoginiBikini · 17/02/2010 23:10

Buy him a doll. Any sort of doll. Some boys like them some don't. Same with girls

mumofeag · 17/02/2010 23:10

YANBU - both my sons have dollys and they love them! They also have a buggy to take dolls for a walk ! Not sure it would have been the first choice of DH but he has never bothered about them! They play with their dolls sometimes and cars/trains other times-we have been practising how to gently cuddle "babies" with their dolls in preparation for the arrival of their DB in May. When I got my DS1 his baby annabel a few christmas's ago one of DH "friends" did comment that he "couldn't believe DH had allowed me to buy his son a doll" grrrrrr!
Like you Booyhoo my DS1 loves accessorising with necklaces & bracelets-soooo very cute

SirBoobAlot · 17/02/2010 23:13

If he wants a doll, get the boy a doll As long as you get one that wees in your face / pukes down your new clothes / cries at 3am if you're going for the practising factor

Scorpette · 17/02/2010 23:48

My brother had several Sindy dolls when he was little and is a stereotypical blokey bloke. A toy you have when you're small can't have the slightest bearing on your adult sexuality - and what would be so wrong with having a gay child anyway?!

lowrib · 18/02/2010 00:06

YANBU at all!

My DS will definitely have dolls when he's older if he wants them, just as I had - and really enjoyed playing with - cars and trains when I was little (as well as girly toys too)

heQet · 18/02/2010 08:53

yanbu at all. I hate all this girls' toys boys' toys pink blue sparkly khaki rubbish!

If you want to bring up a well balanced child they need cars, trains, hammers, dolls, toy kitchens, art and craft stuff...

The whole range of toys.

I knew a lad with a massive collection of my little ponies and why the hell not? My sister's favourite toy was a scalextric. I loved barbie, sindy and a pool table!

Let a child be a child, get him the damn doll! don't let your husband fill his head with that sort of crap.

StealthPolarBear · 18/02/2010 08:57

DS got a doll when I was pregnant, it was very useful to teach him how to interact with the baby, also helped after the birth as I had my baby and he had his.

StealthPolarBear · 18/02/2010 08:58

Now DD is 5m it has been relegated, naked, head first to the toy box.

OtterInaSkoda · 18/02/2010 11:12

I had a vague hope that ds would be interested in my old dolls. He wasn't in the slightest bit interested. He did however push his toy dog around in a toy pushchair I bought for him, which was great as a way to encourage the lazy little blighter a reluctant walker out of his own buggy. Wheels were the key I think.

Now he's older he loves playing with realy babies, as I think most boys do.

cantmummyhaveabreak · 18/02/2010 11:23

My DS (5yo) has been recently 'breastfeeding' his DSis's dolls... he loves dressing in her disney princess outfits and pushing her dolls round in the prams with her too...

Have photographic evidence of him dressed as cinderella with a handbag and breastfeeding a baby.... One for the GF's when he's older

mazzystartled · 18/02/2010 11:27

DS had a dolly for his first birthday and was surprisingly loving and caring towards it. He's definitely a boy's boy at 5.5 but still isn't at all averse to playing dollies with his sister when lego doesn't have his full attention.

claw3 · 18/02/2010 11:42

Does your ds want a doll?

sayithowitis · 18/02/2010 11:44

I think it is great that boys have dolls. My DS1 had a baby boy doll when DS2 was born. He loved looking after his 'baby' whilst I looked after the new baby. We still have the doll somewhere, though he is rather old now ( I am talking about over 20 years ago).

And actually, what is Action Man if not a doll? or does the fact that it comes with an array of weaponry make it somehow better?