toddlers in the cinema...

[thehillsarealive]

took my 2 DC (10 & 6) to the cinema this afternoon. We were sitting quite happily watching the movie when a mum came and sat with her toddler on the steps next to my seat. They had previously been over the other side and causing a fuss as he wouldnt sit still or shut up and I was rather annoyed as all I could hear was the toddler stomping up and down the steps shouting 'night night' and generally being a nuisance to the rest of the room.

AIBU to expect the mother to remove her toddler from the cinema completely and not just move from one side to the other? Or not have taken him at all as he is too young?

I only ever took my babies to "mums and babies" showings, absolutely divine, the best treat of my maternity leave

Kimi lucky you, you have obviously never had the pleasure of a tanturmming toddler!
I am quite a strict mum, my DD's are very well behaved...........usually, DD1 never had a tantrum I can recall, DD2 is usually the loveliest happiest child, however every now and then she certainly can throw a wopper (usually when tired or hungry, eg perfectly after swimming), and can really perform, my best efforts may look like I am doing nothing to the outside, but really in a public place what would you like me to do, a tantrumming toddler in public is a bloody nightmare !

MacDoodle no one has said they expect quiet.They expect a reasonable level of noise at a children's film, not the level of disruption that the OP experienced which is unreasonable.

Tubby I never said that- I said someone who thought the way I postd was a halfwit bigot; there is a difference- if it doesn't apply to you then youa reallclear aren't you?

FWIW there are a great many whom it does apply to,I meet them regulalrly.

Sorry PPEP, but quoting my post and then putting what you did underneath, couldn't help but think it was aimed at me.

peachy, your child having a screach mid film would not have bothered me one iota.

It is hard enough when I am out with my friends son with SN, love him to bits but I always come home shattered. I wasnt being patronising toward you, please dont take it that way.

I think some of the posters are taking this thread personally - when in actual fact I was ranting about someone elses badly behaved toddler, who was acting up the whole time. And imho I dont think it was the first time or the last that it would happen. Her parenting 'style' was ignore it, sadly the rest of the cinema could not ignore it.

Macdoodle - I am not nasty, if I was I would have got up, and told her to shut her fucking bratty toddler up or fuck off outside before I went and got a member of staff to remove her!

CAn we just clear that up once and for all????

Tubby it was aimed at you if that was your reaction,absolutely.

I wasn't sure if it was or if I ahd mistaken it, so I took pains to not direct it with names.

Is there any point at which people draw the line and think, 'actually taking a child this young into this scenario is going to inconvenience everybody else?' DS would have liked to go to laserquest when he was younger, but he didn't get to go because I couldn't have played the game with him with a toddler DD running around getting in everybody's way.

What about the theatre? Many people struggle to pay for theatre tickets to take their kids once a year. Are people going to take toddlers to theatres and make noise throughout?

Some of the excuses on here sound totally self absorbed. If your child cannot go to the theatre because they have a younger sibling who can't sit through the film, you should just accept that rather than prevent other people's children from hearing the film.

There are lots of things that you can do with a child who can't sit through a film. It is not a choice between the cinema or sitting at home.

Excellent post MillyR.

This thread has sidetracked into all sorts of areas, but in fact, the bottom line is - you have to draw a line somewhere and say, 'At what point does the good of everybody else outweigh my own particular wants at this moment in time?'

The issue about children with SEN isn't clear cut anyway.... it's a spectrum isn't it. Some children have difficulty sitting still, staying quiet: they may have no official diagnosis but still have difficulties with language and communication or behaviour which make their behaviour impact negatively on others. This is about common sense and courtesy. If your child is behaving in a way as to impact negatively on those around them, you have a duty as a parent to deal with it.

We have just had a really, really lovely family evening together. All sitting on our sofa watching "Up" DVD.

DD 3 and DS 6 loved it, we had popcorn, loo breaks, lots of questions. It was bliss. Who needs the cinema?

< neglects to mention Toy Story 3 advert on at beginning of DVD had me planning summer cinema visit.....>

glad you had a lovely evening taffetacat, must remember to buy UP - heard it was very sad, is that right enough?

Buying the DVD and my own popcorn etc at home would still be half the price of the cinema anyway.

hills are alive while your at it could you come teach my ds how to talk since you reckon boudries are all needed maybe i am just not being firm enough with him

I blubbed a bit ( three times actually ) but DC didn't notice and all the sad bits were over their heads so it was fine. We all loved it.

I expect we'll be watching it again very soon......

I took ds (aged nearly 11) to watch Avatar last weekend, there was a group of girls (aged about 8) at the front, some sort of party, they were loud, no adult supervision! There was also a 12 month old crying somewhere. I wasn't impressed.

trifle - it's called KIDS AM, the clue is in the name.

I said''It would piss me off to be honest, and sorry donkeyderby, but I wouldn't be happy with children running around in the cinema making lots of noise.

If there are clubs for autistic children, then take your child there, sorry but taking offence that people wouldn't be accepting of your child in the cinema is just plain ridiculous.

Sorry if that sounds harsh, but really?? ' - this was in response to dd's post who mentioned the club for autistic children.

PPEP said "there are no asdfriendlys creenings here

Life with SN kids is really often hard andlimited: luckily inability toaccessmuch is a daily realityso whatever is out there has to be grabbed, clearly if ds1 or ds3 made unreasonable noise I would go, I wouldn't go because some bigoted halfwit didn;t like the idea of me being there though,my money as good as anyone's!"

Yes, your money is as good as anyone else's, but if your child ruins a film for everyone else, they shouldn't be there.

If the child in the OP had sn am I a halfwit bigot for not being happy that my enjoyment of the film was ruined?

Honestly, you really should learn a bit of tolerance yourself obviously, as throwing accusations of bigotry at people is bloody ridiculous.

If you want to accuse me of anything else, please re-read my posts first and highlight my bigotry otherwise I really can't say anymore as I am just banging my head against a brick wall.

Well said MillyR

After all if a child is screaming, shouting, running around a cinema then they are clearly not enjoting the fim so what is the point in taking them to the cinema? Oh I forgot so that the parents can get out of the house and ruin everyone else's high priced pleasure.

OP, YANBU.

If that mother had sat on the steps next to my seat, I'd have asked if she really needed to sit right next to me and ruin our experience of the movie particularly, or was I just the lucky winner of her Toddler Tantrum Tobola?

In general, it matters not if we pay 95p, £2.50, or the Full Whack, if our children are throwing a tantrum, it's our responsibility to take them out and if appropriate, to discipline them. How else will they learn to behave in a public setting. Far too often I see apparently oblivious mothers with kids literally running up and down and shouting in cafes and restaurants, and they are years and years older than my 4yo. He knows that it's not appropriate to do that in a cafe.

I loved the Mother and Baby screenings when DS was small. Though that bloke from Channel 4 news Whatshisname Gurumurthy sat behind me once and all I could hear was him moaning about the noise.. erm, Electric Scream? Kind of tells you what to expect???

A KidsAM screening doesn't absolve all parental responsibility, if a child is kicking off and isn't responding to being told not to, then it's simply not right to ruin the enjoyment for others.

The first time I took ds to see a movie at the local independant cinema there was a teenage girl with her carer/mum on the front row, she obviously had severe sn and was making alot of noise throughout. It was a childrens viewing though and we paid a pound IIRC, I didn't mind, if she was aware even a little bit of what was going on then it was a good thing for her to see (it was a movie about wildlife/earth), I didn't mind her noises, she couldn't help it. I did have to speak to ds who was about 7 though, it helped him to learn about tolerance. I don't think this is the same as allowing a toddler to run around though, the toddler was just bored and shouldn't have been there.