toddlers in the cinema...

[thehillsarealive]

took my 2 DC (10 & 6) to the cinema this afternoon. We were sitting quite happily watching the movie when a mum came and sat with her toddler on the steps next to my seat. They had previously been over the other side and causing a fuss as he wouldnt sit still or shut up and I was rather annoyed as all I could hear was the toddler stomping up and down the steps shouting 'night night' and generally being a nuisance to the rest of the room.

AIBU to expect the mother to remove her toddler from the cinema completely and not just move from one side to the other? Or not have taken him at all as he is too young?

PS The free tickets were from when we went to see Fantastic Mr Fox and the idiot projectionist put on trailers for a X film. There was uproar, kiddies screaming and crying everywhere (think Saw VIII or the like), parents storming around. And a minority of parents just letting their dc sit through it (hate to think what their home DVD collections are like).
The projectionist came out and begged us not to take the free tickets on offer otherwise he'd lose his job. But the manager insisted. What a day!

What a sensible post springlamb.

Yes, there is some point where you have to take the plunge, but as you say, if you plan carefully and also have a Plan B (which may in worst case scenario mean leaving early) then at least you've done everything within your power to be considerate of other people who want to watch the film, not listen to someone else's kid screeching, chatting or running about.

And to all the people who say, but I haven't got anyone else to accompany me/look after the other kids etc, well, it's not impossible to find a babysitter - it just means planning ahead and PAYING which seems to be the sticking point for some people. In half term week in particular there'll be 6th formers around who'll be glad of a bit of extra cash so you can leave the toddler with them if you're desperate to take an older child out. It amazes me the number of people who'll happily pay for cinema tickets, popcorn etc but balk at the idea of paying someone to babysit a younger child to make the whole experience pleasurable in the first place.

These things aren't impossible - it just requires a bit of thought rather than not giving a damn about anyone else.

donkeyderby let me know next time your going and we can go together

The responses to this make me sad, children have to learn to behave, in public and in private, that is our role as parents and grandparents. I would have felt sympathetic but irate that the parent did not attempt to distract ie go to loo and wash hands.It is so unfair to the child to allow behaviour that is naturalfor their age but inappropriate in the circumstance.

If you know they aren't going to sit down and enjoy a film why would you take them? I would never waste all that money, (am mean parsimonious) My DGS2 would never have been able to go to the cinema when he was a toddler; the unfamiliar circumstances would have overwhelmed him totally. So they didn't go, just as they left tots if he was spoiling it for everyone else. And yes, he had an older brother but films come out on DVD/Sky soon enough and you can make it a special treat if you make popcorn and hot dogs.

My children don't remember films we went to see, but making dens under the table, going for walks in all sorts of weather, visiting museums, going on the Mersey ferry (it was free if you didn't get off in Birkenhead!!), getting out all the Lego and making a town that stayed together for days until I couldn't stand tip toeing around it any longer. (Old Codger emoticon)

I know from personal experience that you can feel as though you will die if you don't get out but going to see a film with those squeaky rodents would be my last choice of escape from the house.

Why do people think that going to the cinema is a right of passage. Why is there a need to 'take the plunge? If you have to bribe the kids with shed loads of shit just to get through it then what is the point. Having to tire kids out beforehand in the hope that they'll actually sit quietly is just crazy.

Dh and I had our first trip to the cinema at the weekend since DS2 (4mths) was born - we went to see Avatar and some numpties had brought a bloody toddler with them!

Clearly the attitude being that they wanted to see the film, had no one to leave the child with, so would just bring him with them .

He was noisy and disruptive - but luckily was sitting quite along way away from us.

We get to go out once in a blue moon and were not impressed. Would never take my toddler to the cinema.

macdoodle - thank you.
TubbyDuffs - films for autistic children are rare and in most areas they don't exist. Autistic children and their parents need to get out of the house and do stuff just as much - if not ten times as much - as regular families, so please be grateful you do not have to face this challenge and bear in mind how it would feel if you did.

2shoes - I would love to go to the cinema with you and DD, though this thread has made me feel much less inclined to go. I am going to print it out and send it to the National Autistic Society to make sure they keep our cinema club going. Really, I had no idea people were so uptight about a bit of noise at kids cinema showings - it's been an education.

macdoodle and donkeyderby; this wasnt a case of someone making a little noise - he was totally creating the whole time, up and down and wriggling around and shouting out and running off - and that was before he came to my side of the room and started stomping up and down the stairs! I dont think that is acceptable at all; even in a kids film.

Now as for special needs, there was a family there who had a young lad and he was talking and commenting on the film, no problem with that, he wasnt annoying anyone at all, it was a childrens film after all, and I do NOT expect total silence. What I do expect from the parents and children is a general awareness that other people do not want to listen to their toddlers rantings for almost 2 hours! And if their child is not behaving to bloody well do something about it!

Sorry donkeyderby we'll just have to disagree on this one.

i think it depends on the film, alvin and the chipmunks i would have been talking over.

YANBU. That is highly inconsiderate of the parents and a shame that the staff didnt intervene, They do if a bunch of teenagers are making too much noise..I fail to see what the difference here is.

My DS at 2.5 has so far only gone to live shows that are specifically aimed at toddlers, so they can sing/ clap and generally make noise. Taking him to the cinema wouldnt be fun - for him or me. Until he has the attention span of being able to sit still for more than 20 mins, he won't be going.

we always go to the kidsAM showing at vue. it's a long drive to get there but it's cheap (95p each) and is aimed at parents bringing youngsters. at that price i don't care who's making noise.

OP, YANBU. Too many parents seem to think that they have the right to inflict their irritating children on others without consideration for others feelings.

My DTS will be 6yo soon and have never been to to the cinema. We are planning to initiate them into the experience by taking them to see Toy Story 3 in the cinema.

One of the reasons we have not been is because DH and I cannot abide badly behaved and badly reared children as well as their inadequate parents (the term parent being used loosely).

However, we would like the boys to see Toy Story 3 on the big screen so hopefully, the experience will not be too painful for us.

The fact that KidsAM showings are only 95p makes it irrelevant as to whether kids behave or not. They should regardless of how much a ticket has cost. It;s not aimed at youngsters, it's aimed at people who are on a budget and dont wish to see a film at exorbitant prices.

we have taken ds2 to the cinema quite a lot,he loves getting his popcorn and drink, we went to see alvin and the chipmunks yesterday, the only time he had to get up was when they were singing beyonce single ladies and h wanted to dance as well, saying quite loudly, look mummy i can sing that too, and then does his single ladies dance then he sat down and watched the rest again.

this afternoon we are going to see astroboy and he has been on and on and on about wathcing this one, his brother wants to see it to but hes 11 and no problems at cinema with him!

but i wouldnt be happy with a toddler messing around distracting others, i went to see new moon when it came out last year and some one took a toddler to go see that fgs!!! who played up all the way through it, was very annoyed then.

We went to see Astro Boy yesterday, and someone had brought a baby who proceeded to cry & fuss all the way through it. The noise/ loud music etc were clearly upsetting it, but did the parent leave? No - we all had to be subjected to it.

OP - YANBU - it's irresponsible, selfish behaviour to take very young children to the cinema. If you haven't got a babysitter - tough, then you don't go - that is just one of the realities of being a parent.

I only go to kids club showings with DS (6) and DD (4). Generally only one out of dh and me will take them (generally me as he is more likely to be away at work or recovering from work).

DD has been going since she was nearly 3. Are we unusual in that I don't need to wear them out first, we don't have popcorn and drinks (films are normally around 10:30 - there's no need to eat and drink at that time) and if any children do run around I haven't seen it.

donkeyderby Ti don't take dd to the autism friendly screenings as I think it would be too nosy for her.
shame that people think that a toddler making a noise is the same as a young person with sn.
can't believe what that person posted.

I have been taking my daughter (now 6) to the movies since she's 4 and I never had any problems with her behaviour in the cinema. Apart from a few trips to the toilet, she sits still and watches the movie but she gets annoyed with the other children as recently, one girl sitting behind her kept kicking her seat! It's a special treat for her to go to the movies so she clearly appreciates it.

During Princess and the Frog, one child cried for about 20 minutes but the mother didn't leave the room, which is really inconsiderate for the other people in the room trying to listen to the story and watch the movie in peace!

We regularly watch movies at home all together so perhaps that's why my daughter sits quietly.

I would expect children to be removed from the room if too disruptive and it's up to their parents to control them.

I take my 2 to the kids club £1 showings - perfect place to teach them how to behave in the cinema. But if 3 yo was making loads of noise I wouldn't leave 5yo on his own, we'd all have to leave.

That said I've never had to leave as my children are well trained in the art of film watching. Its a useful skill

I would expect parents to demonstrate that they are not just letting children run riot with no concern for anyone else. But being realistic I wouldn't expect children to always sit nicely and quietly.

I have had people removed from films for this sort of thing, if your child can not sit nicely through a film then do not take them.

YANBU next time speak to the staff and get them removed

Hmm

On this one I think they should be allowedin but removalenforced if their presence becomes noticeable

DS4 (almmost 2) sat happily all through a DVD of Up! yesterday so would maybe try it with him in 6months, but would go if it didnt work out, of course I would.

bans just legislate against the prats really and prevent goodaprents having any leeway

2shoes was that aimed at me? The op mentions noisy toddlers, donkeyderby mentioned her child with sn and posted

"cinema club for autistic children, where running up and down the aisle and making funny noises is standard"

I just said that I wouldn't be happy with that in the cinema, whoever the noise or disturbance is coming from, I'm sorry but it would piss me off.

If there is a specific club aimed at autistic children and your child is autistic then surely it makes sense to take them to it, where the behaviour as mentioned above is more tolerated.

Yes, at a film aimed at small children, you would expect some noise but if a child isn't actually watching the film and is spending more time jumping around, being noisy, then they should be taken outside.

My youngest has been going to the cinema since he was 2.5 and if he ever gets bored and becomes a nuisance to others I leave with him and unfortunately that means my older child has to leave too.

Please don't put words in my mouth, I don't know when I said that a toddler and a child with sn are the same thing, and was purely referring to noise/behaviour in a cinema.

I'm sorry but if a child for whatever reason can't sit/be quiet within reason during a film then they shouldn't be in the cinema. It is simply not fair on the other cinema goers.

Have askedfor some oflast post to be deletd

Willstick with''It would piss me off to be honest, and sorry donkeyderby, but I wouldn't be happy with children running around in the cinema making lots of noise.

If there are clubs for autistic children, then take your child there, sorry but taking offence that people wouldn't be accepting of your child in the cinema is just plain ridiculous.

Sorry if that sounds harsh, but really?? '

there are no asdfriendlys creenings here

Life with SN kids is really often hard andlimited: luckily inability toaccessmuch is a daily realityso whatever is out there has to be grabbed, clearly if ds1 or ds3 made unreasonable noise I would go, I wouldn't go because some bigoted halfwit didn;t like the idea of me being there though,my money as good as anyone's!