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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

toddlers in the cinema...

119 replies

thehillsarealive · 17/02/2010 16:26

took my 2 DC (10 & 6) to the cinema this afternoon. We were sitting quite happily watching the movie when a mum came and sat with her toddler on the steps next to my seat. They had previously been over the other side and causing a fuss as he wouldnt sit still or shut up and I was rather annoyed as all I could hear was the toddler stomping up and down the steps shouting 'night night' and generally being a nuisance to the rest of the room.

AIBU to expect the mother to remove her toddler from the cinema completely and not just move from one side to the other? Or not have taken him at all as he is too young?

OP posts:
nigglewiggle · 17/02/2010 17:32

Macdoodle - couldn't your older daughter go with a friend and their parent?

OtterInaSkoda · 17/02/2010 17:37

Also Mac, you removed your dd. You were considerate of others. The woman in the OP wasn't.

Original poster
thehillsarealive · 17/02/2010 17:48

thanks niggle (love your name btw) that is exactly what i did when my DD was a teeny - we (friends or DH's) took it in turns as adults to take the kids and their friends to cinema and the other watched the younger children or took them to softplay.

It isnt that hard to make other arrangements is it and I speak as someone who lives 400 miles away from family.

It just seemed bad manners.

I think she did have an older child with her - I would say around 10ish in age. When my DD needs the loo I accompany her and leave my DS alone in the cinema.

OP posts:
macdoodle · 17/02/2010 18:28

Gosh the Hills arent you lucky, some of us dont have lots of friends with DC all the same age to palm our littlie's off on!

DD1's friends dont have little ones as well, so I would have to expect them to take her and not return the favour, I do ask friends to have DD2, but for things I really cant take her to (like competitions, parents eve, xmas concerts etc), but think its taking the piss a bit sometimes!

I do get annoyed with the somewhat smug attitudes of 2 parent families, they really do not have a clue the juggling that goes on when their isnt another adult in the household to help

I do try and be considerate but yo know what soemtimes things are unavoidable, and I do think a kids movie in a rainy half term is somewhere you ahve to expect toddlers to be!

SpicedGerkin · 17/02/2010 18:38

'I do get annoyed with the somewhat smug attitudes of 2 parent families, they really do not have a clue the juggling that goes on when their isnt another adult in the household to help'

Generalising much?

Original poster
thehillsarealive · 17/02/2010 18:41

macdoodle dont be so snippy. I dont palm my children off on anyone and if you knew anything about me then you would know that - so please dont presume!

My DH worked away for a lot of the time when DD was very young and I lived in the middle of nowhere. If I hadnt had a good network of friends then I would have gone A) mental and B) never left the house except to do the school run with my eldest.

My attitude isnt SMUG at all.

OP posts:
onebadbaby · 17/02/2010 18:53

yanbu- I would have given her lots of looks as well. Not sure I would have complained though- am a bit of a coward.

Talking of stinky people- buses are the worst! and keeping my little one from saying "Pooh! that lady/man smells" is sometimes difficult (grin).

Anyone seen the new Disney princess movie?? What age would you recommend for? DD is 4?

onebadbaby · 17/02/2010 18:54
Grin
violethill · 17/02/2010 18:55

I would add that during the afternoon in half term week, most two parent families will have one parent at work anyway, so it doesn't make a great deal of difference. This isn't a single parent issue - it's about having basic consideration for other cinema goers.

2shoes · 17/02/2010 19:12

nothing to do with be a "smug" 2 parent family.
I would never have taken dd to the cinema when younger as she wouldn't have been quiet(sn) why should every one elses emjoyment be ruined, I jast waited for the dvd, or took ds very rarely when she was elsewhere,.

Mrsdoasyouwouldbedoneby · 17/02/2010 19:51

WE saw that too, plenty of younger children in there. DS 5 just didn't get it at all. They were suddenly teenagers?? Very odd. I thought they would be top end of elementry... never mind...

No you are not BU. It would bug me too. DD is 3.5 and we took her. She is okay, doesn't natter, but didn't get Princess and the frog when we saw t today (despite bgging to see it for ages)... She said she didn't like the frog.... LOL But the creepy voodoo man was not scary at all.

Morloth · 17/02/2010 19:56

Well, it's half term and it was a kid's movie so I have to say I wouldn't be too annoyed.

Alvin & Chipmunks 2 was a chick flick for little chicks. I almost went to sleep.

MumNWLondon · 17/02/2010 19:58

I did take DS to the cinema aged 3 but he sat still thoughout... (I think he even fell asleep on my lap) - I don't really think its an age thing, more that its unreasonable to take a child to the cinema who will not sit through the film.

BTW - I think all film say suitable 4+. I would have complained to the cinema to try and get refund!

MumNWLondon · 17/02/2010 20:01

I saw the princess movie last week. DD is 6 and loved it, but I am not sure she got it all, I whispered things to her a few times to make sure she understood.

But she said she loved it... DS is nearly 4 and I am glad that I didn't take him. So maybe 4 a bit young.

dixiechick1975 · 17/02/2010 22:43

Princess and frog - my 4 yr old loved it - sat mesmerised, was her first trip to cinema but been to alot of childrens theatre shows.

pigletmania · 17/02/2010 23:10

Fine if its a young kiddies film you can expect that, but an older kids film than noway. There is absolutely no way would I subject anyone in a cinema to my dd 2.11 years, she would not sit still for one second and would want to run around shouting and talking.

misdee · 17/02/2010 23:25

i would've flicked popcorn at her

plonker · 17/02/2010 23:31

Lmao at the "sexual" chipmonks and the stinky people in asda!

That bonkersness aside, YANBU OP.

I have taken my toddler to the cinema a few times (even to see the gyrating chipmonks!) and when she has gotten fidgity or disruptive, I have taken her out. I understand the scenario of leaving siblings unattended (mine others are 10 and almost 7, so it's not really a problem) but it's really not fair to allow a toddler to ruin the film for everyone else in there.

JMO.

runnybottom · 17/02/2010 23:36

YABU for being so English and sitting seething and glaring and saying nothing. Why can't people in this country actually SAY something when they are annoyed?
"excuse me, would you mind keeping the noise down, we can't hear the film properly" would probably have dealt with it nicely.

donkeyderby · 18/02/2010 01:01

I would have loved it if this lady and her child sat next to me. My son has severe learning disabilities and if we had to be completely quiet in the cinema, I would never be able to take him. I am now thinking that if this is the general opinion of so many, I will not be able to take him in the future even though we work really hard all the way through the film to keep him quiet.

Thank God for the occasional cinema club for autistic children, where running up and down the aisle and making funny noises is standard, understood, accepted and enjoyed by poor parents who feel pushed out of mainstream events. Obviously, if total silence in Alvin and the bloody Chipmunks is required, we are right to feel pushed out.

Lucky for you all that you can sit in the cinema in peace and quiet with your well-behaved children. Perhaps this woman just had no-one to help her and was desperate for something to do.

macdoodle · 18/02/2010 08:06

Ah derby, I wouldnt mind sitting next to your son!!
Actually I think the OP is unreasonable, and the fact that she is one of those people who has posted in AIBU, but not actually prepared to accept that some people might think that yes she IS, really irks me!

If you want absolute peace and quiet to watch a film then go se an adult film or an evening show, not a daytime viewing of a childrens film!!!
I'm sorry, its half term FGS, I saw Alvin, I dont think it was sexualised or too old, my 2 yr old loved it!! And the mum in the OP may have though her little one would too!

girlsyearapart · 18/02/2010 08:18

YANBU the cinema is really expensive and I would expect people to try to be as quiet as posible or take children out if they're being annoying. Though I probably would say something.

The film title makes me laugh though. DH is a cab driver and said he had to bite his lip from laughing at a woman trying in vain to explain to her dcs what 'the squeakel' means

TubbyDuffs · 18/02/2010 08:26

It would piss me off to be honest, and sorry donkeyderby, but I wouldn't be happy with children running around in the cinema making lots of noise.

If there are clubs for autistic children, then take your child there, sorry but taking offence that people wouldn't be accepting of your child in the cinema is just plain ridiculous.

Sorry if that sounds harsh, but really??

izzybiz · 18/02/2010 08:29

I think people should try and keep little ones quiet in the cinema just out of courtesy to other people.

My freind and I took our 5 yo Dd's to Alvin and the Chipmunks 2 and there was a family in front of us who had a boy with them of about 8ish, he obviously had SN, every time Alvin came on the screen he would shout "Alvin, Alvin"! Or he would shout out something that was going on, I thought it was lovely that he was getting so much enjoyment from the movie, but his parents still tried to calm him every time.

SIL took her 3yo Ds for the first time this week, he was pretty goo apart from needing 3 wees, and informing her rather loudly that "my poo is coming"!

springlamb · 18/02/2010 08:33

We took my 3 yr old great nephew to see Alvin the other day, it was his first trip and was planned like a military exercise:

we used free tickets I'd had for months so that if we had to leave we hadn't wasted any money,
we had two adults so that if necessary one could remain with the other 3 children whilst one took the 'offender' out to the ice cream bar,
we had loads of drinks and sweets hidden in a capacious bag (our cinema is OK about this) but did buy some popcorn for the older ones,
we sat where the 'offender' could make a quick exit if necessary,
we had tried to tire him out beforehand.

In the event it went quite well, just a few 'it's dark mummy, let's go back home' and 'i no like this', then he settled down.

You have to try them sooner or later, but you must take into account that other people have paid significant money to be there.