toddlers in the cinema...

[thehillsarealive]

took my 2 DC (10 & 6) to the cinema this afternoon. We were sitting quite happily watching the movie when a mum came and sat with her toddler on the steps next to my seat. They had previously been over the other side and causing a fuss as he wouldnt sit still or shut up and I was rather annoyed as all I could hear was the toddler stomping up and down the steps shouting 'night night' and generally being a nuisance to the rest of the room.

AIBU to expect the mother to remove her toddler from the cinema completely and not just move from one side to the other? Or not have taken him at all as he is too young?

Tubby its called tolerance andadapted expectation

OK if you cant hear otr see the screen thats silly

But if were there with an NT child and minor disruption was made by a child with SN I would absolutely apply amended expectations and think that society is better when we all pull together rather than forcing people into non existent specialist provision (AKA sitting at home on your arse lonely)

PPEP the OP was talking about a significant disbturbance, and that is what I was basing my posts on.

I'd better not got on for fear of being called more names.

"The fact that KidsAM showings are only 95p makes it irrelevant as to whether kids behave or not. They should regardless of how much a ticket has cost. It;s not aimed at youngsters, it's aimed at people who are on a budget and dont wish to see a film at exorbitant prices"

Do people even think before posting, or indeed read it back to themselves. Have another look Trifle

I'm willing to bet that anything called KIDSam is in fact aimed at youngsters.

The kids club here specifies that you have to have at least one child per adult attending.

I agree with tubbyduffs. There is a level of expected additional noise when you go and see a kids film. But children who are totally disruptive really shouldn't be there. We went to see Princess and the Frog a couple of days ago and there was a child (about 3) who came and sat in front of us and literally bounced up and down on the seat (complete with the vibrating banging that that caused). I asked him to sit down and be quiet (as whatever parent he was with was sat a few rows back in their original seats).

Have just returned from taking Dds (10 & 8) to see The Princess and the Frog. I did expect it to be busy as it is a children's film and it is the middle of half term but I did not expect the number of rude adults that were there.

It was packed and we unfortunately sat beside and behind a group of mothers with about 8/9 children ranging from 2 to 6 in age. They spent the entire film getting up and down and chatting - the mothers that is!!

Then in the row behind us was a woman with a baby!! Which howled on and off throughout the film - she took it out when it cried but obviously by the time she had got up moved to the end of the row got down the stairs and out it was ridiculous.

There was a another small boy who I would hazard a guess had some kind of behavioural problem and he kept shouting and throwing popcorn!!

The whole expensive experience was somewhat ruined by thoughtless parents and their awful offspring.

If your child can not sit still for the duration of a film do not take them to the cinema and as for taking babies!!!

I agree newpup - I had to get someone to mind my baby so I could take my two oldest to the cinema. I just accept that one of the limitations of having a 14month old is she can't go to the cinema. She could when she was a babe in arms, but not now - it's not fair to my other two or the rest of the cinema goers. If I couldn't get someone top watch her, I would wait for the movie to come out on DVD.

We've just been to Kidsclub showing of Up. Dh, me & 3 of the 4 dcs (11,6,3).

I was very impressed as there was a fair amount of sweet rustling and a little bit of talking in the whole auditorium. I was expecting a minor riot as it was kids club. I thought all of the children were very well behaved.

It's the first time the 6 & 3 year old had been to the cinema as it's so expensive we just wait for the dvd to come out.

I am relieved that you make a distinction between a really noisy toddler and an sn child chatting through a film, thehillsarealive. I feel a bit less wound up now (as long as I don't read some of the comments!)

DS doesn't run up and down the aisles but he does chat. Even in the ASD showings, most of the kids sit entranced by the film, behaving beautifully, and no-one makes so much noise that you can't hear or see the film. The difference is that everyone is tolerant.

My goodness how untolerant we are towards children , if you go to a kids film expect a bit of noise its part and parcel of it, if you want quiet go to see an adult film. Poor donkeyderby and people like her who have children with SN and some of the attitudes on here towards it, its shameful really. One poster said that Donkey should not bring her child to the cinema and to only go when the showing for autistic children is on . If we are not tolerant towards children/people with SN how do we expect our kids to be? What if cinemas dont have this facility for SN children! Obviously if there was a lot of screaming and shouting than yes kids should be taken out or told to be quiet but a little bit of tolerance goes a long way.

This is why I don't go to the cinema. I consider it to be on a par with soft play places.

The awful smell of popcorn/Westlers and the munching noises. Uggggghhhh.

Rude ignorant people talking or getting up to go to the loo (those giant slop buckets of Coke)

Kids fidgeting and getting up and down/kicking seats/talking...

And in fact once I was sitting behind a pair of elderly pensioners eating sandwiches out of foil. It was very rustly, and the woman kept asking her husband his opinion of the filling, and then asking him about the plot of the film. Finally I lost it and said "Will you STOP that rustling or else I'll inform the manager." The woman turned round and said, quite calmly, "Fuck off."

Piglet and Donkey I don't think anyone has said that they expect complete silence.
They expect some noise at a children's film some talking,fidgeting,laughing etc but what the Op describes was not reasonable level of noise and it was selfish of the parent(S) in question to allow it to continue.

Thats why i said that if the dc is shouting and screaming then they should be taken out of the cinema. That is why i would not take my dd 2.11 to the cinema she is just too young and i know she would not keep still and would be talking loudly and making lots of noise

well glad to see I am not alone in my annoyance yesterday.

I have NEVER said that a toddler - and I think he was between 18 months and 2 - and a SN child was remotely similar. I have friends with SN and we often go to the cinema together, but i have to say they are pretty well behaved. HAving SN does not excuse them from the reality of life and they need to know boundaries etc, but that is an entirely different thread from this one.

Maybe I was being U for not saying something, I certainly will if it happens again.

Laughed my head off at gramercy, that was so funny.

I do have plenty of tolerance for children, especially those with SN, what i have little tolerance for is rubbish parenting and yesterdays episode was about shit parenting. How will those children ever learn boundaries? Those will be the same children at school who think the class revolves around them and their nonsense! grrrr

macdoodle - I wouldn't mind sitting next to your son, as I would understand that your options are limited.

I'd be less tolerant of a toddler. Really.

Thehillare youa re right about Sn and if you could just pop over here and manage to teach my concrete ASD child that I would be most grateful.

TIA

One poster said that Donkey should not bring her child to the cinema and to only go when the showing for autistic children is on.

Try reading the posts, donkeyderby mentioned the showing specifically for autistic children.

Whether a child is 2 or 14 or with sn or not, it doesn't matter, if they can't behave (within reason) in a cinema and spoil other people's enjoyment of the film, then they should be taken outside.

WITHIN REASON.

I really don't know why donkeyderby is arguing as in her words "Even in the ASD showings, most of the kids sit entranced by the film, behaving beautifully, and no-one makes so much noise that you can't hear or see the film." So what's the problem then, no one would complain about that would they?

Is the OP being reasonable to object if the child mentioned was a noisy 3 year old misbehaving, but would be unreasonable if said 3 year old was sn?

Three year oldsare borderline tubby, but absolutely I expect more from my NT 9 year old than my SN 10 year old. And whilst a three year oldwould grow out of it and it may be able possible to hire a babysitter,neiother is possible for my sn two ( I have 4, 2 with ASD). I don't allow them toruin other people'strips out, but I hopepeople to be a bit more flexible if say ds1 stimmed (jumped up and sceeched loudly for asecond) than if an NT child did, and perhaps torelaise that if wego nowhere there is any risk at all, then wegonowhere.p[ubs,libarries,parks...there'salways soemoone thinking we shouldn't use the venue unless it is ASD specific.

Runnybottom - you've completely and utterly missed my point. The previous poster suggested that if you've only paid 95p to see a film then you cant get upset if the kids make noise. To me the price is irrelevant, kids should behave regardless. Kids AM is a cheap way for adults and their children to see a film, it's not targeted for any particular aged children, ie very young children as a way of introducing them to the cinema.

PPEP I don't think anyone would object if your child jumped up and screeched for a second.

The child in the OP was spoiling the film for people, not just making a few noises.

No one knows how their child is going to behave, sn or not, when you take them to the cinema, mine can be angels or demons depending on the moon I think, but I take them in the hope they will behave within reason and if they don't and they are spoiling things for others, I will remove them from the cinema.

How is it so awful that I would expect other parents to be mindful of others too? Why does that make me a halfwit bigot or whatever?

I agree with Tubby.

I don't mind kids talking, quietly, even shouting out when they see something they like on screen.
I do object to anyone spoiling my enjoyment of a film which always seem to cost me an arm and a leg.
Why do people take babies to the cinema-lord knows. Not on in my book what do they hope to gain by it. Get a goddam sitter or don't go.
Op- next time go and get someone to tell the parent to control their kid or leave.

Glad it isn't just me that attracts the annoying wierdos.

Its not just cinemas.
I have just returned from -the 7th circle of hell swimming, well the boys swam and I watch from the viewing bit, while parents who could not control their children seemed to be out in force.

Child screaming for 35 minuets while its mother kept saying stop it or I will take you home, I was thinking please do

Another child of about 3 waring a crop top and a rara skirt with no pants/nappy had a major melt down because her grandad would not stand holding the door shut to stop people going in and out, she rolled about and screamed (showing her lack of under garments in full to all) while grandad kept saying what do you want, and me thinking a bloody good smack

Child 3 climbing all over every thing and every one while mother ran after her saying put your shoes on resulting in ear splitting screech from child NOOOOOOOOOO, mother do you want to go home again NOOOOOOO well put your shoes on NOOOOOOOOO this went on for 15 minuets till mother walked off in a huff and child fell and started to scream the place down.

Gosh what a horrid nasty lot you are
I always try to make my toddler behave and she is usually very well behaved! I only take her to morning or early afternoon KIDS (yes KIDS) movies with the assumption that a bit of noise and interruption is to be expected!

If I want to see a film in peace, I get someone to watch DD2, and take DD1 to an older film, or leave them both at home and go see an adult show with a friend

However a day time show of Alvin, smack in the middle of half term, expecting quiet makes you totaly and utterley UB!!!!