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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

well not me but couple at next table this afternoon

128 replies

MrsDimples · 14/02/2010 22:31

During the week OH booked him, me & baby into a diner / bar / restaurant for a meal this valentine afternoon. We chose this place as it is more relaxed than a formal restaurant & avoided prime times of lunch & evening as we would have sproggle with us.

We arrived & where greeted by our booked name - only people with baby - shown to our reserved table, with high chair. Sproggle is 8 months old, breast fed & blw. Getting off the train had interrupted a breastfeed, so when we sat down I continued to breastfeed her.

A couple - late fifties, early sixties - sat at the next table.

When sproggle was fed I went to change her before the food arrived & then put her in the high chair. Before we'd got the high chair tucked up close to the table, she headbutted the edge of the table & started to cry. So we took her out to give her a cuddle. She was still upset, so I put her back on the breast. She subsequently went to sleep.

The couple at the next table looked like they were leaving, but actually there drinks had been put on the table behind them. The lady was clearly trying to be placed at a different table.

They stayed at the table behind.

Sproggle cried, cried not screamed, for less than 3 minutes, but was on the breast for quite a while.

When she woke, she sat happily in the high chair stuffing her face with pitta & houmus. Making a mess, that we cleared.

The staff had no issue with us.

So were the couple being unreasonable to move tables?

OP posts:
thedollshouse · 15/02/2010 14:36

Why have you taken it as an insult on your parenting?

People who don't have children in tow don't generally want to be seated next to a crying child. It isn't personal.

Morloth · 15/02/2010 14:36

You do understand that they could have moved for reasons completely unrelated to you and in fact may not even have noticed your (or your DDs) existence?

expatinscotland · 15/02/2010 14:39

'I probably am being too sensitive or precious'

Yes. And ridiculously self-absorbed. Please get over yourself, it's causing you unecessary stress to think that most people out in public actually care about you and 'sproggle's actions.

activate · 15/02/2010 14:44

They are also entilted to their idea of Valentine's Day

kittyonthebeam · 15/02/2010 14:47

Hearing a baby cry reminds me of my own and if my own isn't with me I'd really rather not sit next to one. However, I would do that as discreetly as possible and have done so on a few occasions. I am a bit to read that YOU seem to think yourself insulted by their moving away. It's their choice and has not negatively impacted on your dining experience unless you missed the audience for sproggle.

expatinscotland · 15/02/2010 14:50

my youngest is a crier. he's 15 months now and he's got a set of lungs on him!

DH and i only get to go out on our own when we're with family abroad, once a year, and when we do, we don't want to sit near a baby, especially having made a 12 hour plane journey with a baby who is a crier.

if someone were offended by our moving tables to avoid one, that would just be tough.

they were discreet and not rude.

DebiNewberry · 15/02/2010 14:50

Nice post HeQet.

Just let it wash over you, people don't enjoy listening to crying children, even if it's not for very long. They just don't. Some people sometimes find breastfeeding in public difficult. They weren't out and out rude, they just moved. Completely fine. Honestly.

GhoulsAreLoud · 15/02/2010 14:50

I don't understand this thread. Why did you wish your baby would throw something at them?

ClaireDeLoon · 15/02/2010 14:50

'In hindsight they may have just wanted a better table, the bloke couldn't keep his eyes of the big round corner booth table that was empty'

Maybe he just felt uncomfortable because you were staring at him?

ShowOfHands · 15/02/2010 14:51

OP what you are essentially saying is 'I was out in a public space, some people moved in a specific way, I have no idea why but am I allowed to be cross about their movement?'. Can you hear how ridiculous it sounds?

And dd/ds/dp/dh/dw etc are just internet abbreviations to allow us to remain anonymous, be part of a homogenous, vipery mass and type faster. I think almost none of us read 'dh' and hear 'darling', we all know it means man to which I am espoused. It also avoids all this hubby, bubs, baba, sproggle nonsense. Sproggle is your name for your child, we don't share it nor do we reference what you are saying properly. Plus, it's naff.

ginormoboobs · 15/02/2010 14:52

YABU
If DH and I are out for a very rare kid free meal , we would ask to be moved away from you.
I have 2 small children at home. Every meal we have is shared by them. A meal out is an escape and I don't want to be sat next to kids.
Watching a small child eat and be cooed over is not my idea of a relaxing afternoon.
I particularly dislike it when we are kid free and a group of people with kids sit next to us. You then have to watch what you say and listen to the annoying little shits witter on.
My children of course are delightful and do not annoy me when I'm out with them , I just don't like other peoples kids around me when I don't have my own.
I am the mean lady who tells small children to go find Mummy and Daddy if they wander over to my table , if my kids are there we will chat to a random wanderer , if not they are sent away.
I would also move away from groups of noisy people , drunk people , arguing couples etc. I just want to have a quiet chat with my DH.

activate · 15/02/2010 14:54

ginormoboobs - how accurate!!

timelordvictorious · 15/02/2010 15:06

OP, you are being unreasonable, but I think you have realised that by now. They wanted to move, so they moved. You were not in charge of seating arrangements in the restaurant, so it should not have bothered you.

I KNOW what it is like to want the entire world to admire your PFB. Mine is perfect, but I can now manage to take her out in public without expecting everyone we meet to be entranced with her wonderfulness.

I do admire the way you have persisted with the use of 'sproggle' though. It will not stick on Mumsnet, and you are likely to be flamed everytime you use it.

violethill · 15/02/2010 17:09

I think kitty's hit the nail on the head. I think the OP wanted an audience for sproggle and was disappointed when they moved.

I bet sproggle's the sort of baby who has a blog

pagwatch · 15/02/2010 17:19

MrsDimples.

But I would move away from perfectly adorable babies.
It is about me not wanting to sit near a baby - not about the baby.
Do you see what I mean?

I ask only as you will be unhappy if you take people not wanting to be around babies as a personal slight to your particular one.

I know you are getting annoyed but, if you contemplate that others have different circumstances and different personal histories to you, then what they did was potentially very considerate.

Ziggurat · 15/02/2010 17:24

Darling husband is twee. DH is just much quicker than writing out 'husband'. Nothing more, nothing less.

The couple were definitely not being unreasonable. I also would not want to sit next t a BLW 8-month old, armed with houmous.

fillybuster · 15/02/2010 17:35

Perhaps they moved in response to overuse of the vile term of endearment "sproggles"? I know it would cause me to barf into my dinner feel slightly nauseous.

Pikelit · 15/02/2010 17:41

This unfortunate sproggle, had you changed her at the table too? Or was it just the three minutes of crying that caused this polite couple to make absolutely no fuss but to move themselves away from your table?

Do you know how long three minutes is when you aren't related to the source of the noise, btw?

So many questions, I realise. But please if nothing else, be assured that the very name sproggle is as indigestible an experience as those sharing close proximity with you in this restaurant predicted they might have to endure.

lucysmum · 15/02/2010 17:55

my youngest is now 3. When we go out as a family I try to sit away from people with young babies or who look they are not controlling their children. I have never let them run around in restaurants and took them straight out if they cried. It is not fair to impose your children on other people. So they were definitely NBU.

pagwatch · 15/02/2010 17:58

Piklet said "Do you know how long three minutes is when you aren't related to the source of the noise, btw?"

Oh God yes.
I am not related to Chris De Burgh but in the mere three minutes it takes him to sing "lady in Red" I want to fucking shoot the man.

tortoiseonthehalfshell · 16/02/2010 01:28

Ha!

AmesBS7 · 16/02/2010 09:51

I have been in an informal cafe with family when a child has been screeching (not crying, but 'play screeching') at the next table and my family's response was to tut and whisper and make pointed glances, shaking their heads.
I was embarrassed for them and wished that I COULD move tables!
It's far better to quietly move somewhere else and to refrain from being rude.
Having said that, I have moved tables when sat next to adult coughers and sniffers, so maybe I am just used to movng if I am bothered by something!

AmesBS7 · 16/02/2010 09:53

I want to clarify that I was embarrassed about my family's response and wanted to move away from them.

Ziggurat · 16/02/2010 10:04

MrsDimples - what would you have preferred they do?

Stay put, and lump sproggle - houmous, crying (not screaming) and all?

That's a tad unreasonable, no...?

pagwatch · 16/02/2010 10:09

and if Chris De Burgh appeared at the nexttable and began to schreech, would you stay put out of consideration for his feeling?

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