well not me but couple at next table this afternoon

[MrsDimples]

During the week OH booked him, me & baby into a diner / bar / restaurant for a meal this valentine afternoon. We chose this place as it is more relaxed than a formal restaurant & avoided prime times of lunch & evening as we would have sproggle with us.

We arrived & where greeted by our booked name - only people with baby - shown to our reserved table, with high chair. Sproggle is 8 months old, breast fed & blw. Getting off the train had interrupted a breastfeed, so when we sat down I continued to breastfeed her.

A couple - late fifties, early sixties - sat at the next table.

When sproggle was fed I went to change her before the food arrived & then put her in the high chair. Before we'd got the high chair tucked up close to the table, she headbutted the edge of the table & started to cry. So we took her out to give her a cuddle. She was still upset, so I put her back on the breast. She subsequently went to sleep.

The couple at the next table looked like they were leaving, but actually there drinks had been put on the table behind them. The lady was clearly trying to be placed at a different table.

They stayed at the table behind.

Sproggle cried, cried not screamed, for less than 3 minutes, but was on the breast for quite a while.

When she woke, she sat happily in the high chair stuffing her face with pitta & houmus. Making a mess, that we cleared.

The staff had no issue with us.

So were the couple being unreasonable to move tables?

Have been there and done that, remember a couple complaining about my 2 yr old on his birthday in Pizza Express at 5 pm on a Saturday so not late, and actually he wasn't crying or making much noise at all. Just a grumpy man. But I don't think they are unreasonable to want to move if they was somewhere quieter available. My children are older now, ten and eight, and we were in a cafe recently and the noise was incrediable, crying children, coughing and sneezing, it was really unpleasant. And also my dh and I went out for lunch recently, and they was a child at the next table who was tantrumming and rocking and banging his high chair and his mother was really irritatingly not dealing with him (threatening that they wouldnt go to the toy shop, but not carrying it through) and we didnt order and just left!So I don't think they are unreasonable to want to enjoy their meal in peace. You sound offended that they wanted to move away from you. (I am very pro breastfeeding by the way and that wouldn't bother me at all.)

Usually, I'm really defensive of babies in restaurants and grumpy old people but in this case, they did the right thing. They didn't harass you, they just moved tables.

I've been harassed twice in VERY informal diner style family restaurants by miserable, rude old people just because my kids were talking among themselves or just existing (definitely not running round, making a noise) - would have had no problem if the people concerned had just moved themselves.

Don't really see the problem as they didn't do any huffing or moaning.
They may have had an ishoo with you BFing, but they "delt with it". They were being reasonable.
Who'da thought it!

I don't know.....personally I would have avoided taking a baby out to a restaurant on Valentines Day. Because one doesn't know the situation of the other diners - some of them might be parents of young babies themselves and been looking forward to going out on their own as a couple on Valentines Day for months - their only baby-free time.

I only say this because of a couple of experiences I have had myself. When due to drop any day with DS1, DH and I booked a nice restaurant one evening. We knew it was going to be our last ever baby-sitting-free night out and were really going to appreciate it. Quite frankly the evening was ruined by a mother who'd brought her young baby out with her while sitting having a meal with her friend. It was about 8.30pm at night, the baby was clearly knackered, fed up and cried most of the time we were there and the mother didn't seem to care - she just sat there gassing to her friend. It didn't make for a relaxing experience at all and it did make me think that I would be more considerate myself when making restaurant arragements with a young baby.

The other occasion was a joke. It WAS actually Valentines day, pre-kids - DH and I were up north visiting friends and family for the weekend (we lived in London at the time) and decided to splash out on a nice meal and hotel room at a local hotel rather than spend Valentines Night at our parents' houses! They put us in the bridal suite so we were all excited and loved-up and stayed up late, er, demonstrating quite energetically that lurrrve IYSWIM!!!

We were looking forward to a nice coupley lie-in and a lazy breakfast in the hotel restaurant. What actually happened was that the room above us seemed to have about 3 kids in it - all running up and down like elephants starting at about 5.45am. It went on and on, with no sign of the parents telling them to shut it and sit down quietly. We didnt' get back to sleep the noise was so bad, so bang went our romantic lie-in and we were also soooo knackered for the rest of the weekend's plans. I actually complained to the hotel when we checked out that I found it a bit off to book a young family into a hotel room directly above the bridal suite on Valentines night. They didn't really have much to say to that though.

I GET that you were considerate in deliberately NOT booking a later time, and I don't see anything wrong with BF in public in a restaurant, or the fact that a young baby has cried for a couple of minutes (you made sure you comforted the baby enough to settle to ssleep and be quiet).

BUT......it was valentine's Day. Could you all not have gone out another day when it wouldn't have been such a coupley day for other people?

And forgot to say, like the others have said, that they didn't make an issue of it, this couple. They just quietly moved to another table. And the staff dealt with it well and didn't come over and harrass you. So not sure why you're upset about it?

I would have done the same tbh. Why should they have to sit in a restaurant next to you and your crying baby with other tables available? How are they supposed to know that your baby would only cry for 3 minutes the entire time you were in the restaurant?

eh. I have a 1 year old and I can't really fault the couple. I'd have been far more annoyed with, as has been mentioned, audible tutting etc from their table. Changing tables quietly, when there is room to do so, to get away from a potentially continually fussy baby isn't really unreasonable.

Dont judge them,they did nothing wrong - how do you know that lady wasn't recovering from a mastectomy or something like that?

Nobody was unreasonable so why post?...

No, they weren't being unreasonable. It sounds as if they were being vey polite and discreet about it - different if they'd made a huge fuss about the crying, breastfeeding and general sproggleness of it all, however. I think I'd have done the same tbh, esp. if DH and I had managed to escape from our 3 brats for lunch, only to find ourselves seated next to a baby.

Did like your oh-so-casual hummus and pitta bread throw-in, btw

Did them moving make you feel uncomfortable? I think they were being sensible and even kind in arranging to move rather than tutting or complaining or making a fuss. BUT I also know if someone moved tables to get away from me, I'd be a little put out!

I'd have probably quietly moved as well, particularly if I was on a nice valentine's meal with OH. I wouldn't know how long your baby was going to cry, and, although it's funny in your own home, the sight of a baby smearing food around could spoil my enjoyment of my own meal.
YABU then.

I wouldn't say they were being particularly unreasonable..perhaps they just wanted to give you space...try to think the best not the worst

I've been out late (early evening) with my DCs for dinner in the past and as we were leaving a diner came up to us and commented on how well our children behaved and older people have been especially nice asking questions and making nice comments.

I don't think anyone was being unreasonable. They didn't say anything to you, but obviously preferred to be at a different table. I think that's OK - not everyone has to like everyone's babies or want to sit next to them in a restaurant. Also, the fact they didn't say anything to you maybe suggests that they recognised it as their own issue, so moved themselves rather than e.g. asking you to move.

I think they behaved perfectly well.

PFB springs to mind.

The sproggle thing has to stop, please reconsider this affectionate nickname. I think even the babycentre/netmum huns would have an ishooo with it, and that is saying something.

Nope, they were not BU at all. Sounds to me that they were actually very sensible and fairly discreet. They didn't tut, mutter under their breath or ask you to stop breast feeding did they? They were probably trying to have a nice meal out together and decided that they could do without sitting next to a small baby. I can't say that I blame them.

You were NU either - you and your DP were going out for a nice meal with your DD (note: Not Sproggle) and it sounds like you handled her beautifully.

Nothing to be upset over, no-one was being unreasonable, and I am sure everyone had a splendid time

I think they have a right not to have to sit next to a crying baby, if that is what they want.

They didn't cause a fuss, create a scene or have a moan at/about you. They tried to move themselves from a situation they didn't want to be in, so yes YABU.

Also, YABU to call your baby 'sproggle'....wtf?

Where has the OP gone? (Hopefully off to think about a less ridiculous nickname for her baby!!)

I think the OP is being very PFB. No one did anything wrong, but she's looking to find a problem.

I would have done the same as the older couple - I wouldn't choose to sit slap bang next to a young family if I was out for a quiet romantic lunch, and there were other tables available. Like others have said, no one else has any idea how long your baby is going to cry for. 8 month olds can often be a bit slurpy while bf, and also I would definitely not want to watch a baby messily stuffing her face with pitta and hummus while out for lunch - it's usually fairly messy.

YABU for expecting another couple to choose to sit right next to you when they could sit further away. Not everyone finds 'sproggle' (!) as delightful as you do.

Message withdrawn

PFB!

yep, if i went out to eat without my child of 2.5 yrs old, i would move heaven and earth to avoid close proximity to anyone else's offspring unless they were asleep and stayed that way!

but I suppose since the couple in question were late fifties, one can assume their lives don't wholly revolve around kids.

YABU for assuming everyone loves being near children, clearly those two didn't.

What's a sproggle?

Well are you sure that they wanted to move? And at least they weren't complaining to you. It sounds as if they were being quite restrained TBH. They didn't want to be seated next to a crying baby - no big deal - but they didn;t make a big fuss, ask for you to be moved or tell you to stop bfing.