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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

well not me but couple at next table this afternoon

128 replies

MrsDimples · 14/02/2010 22:31

During the week OH booked him, me & baby into a diner / bar / restaurant for a meal this valentine afternoon. We chose this place as it is more relaxed than a formal restaurant & avoided prime times of lunch & evening as we would have sproggle with us.

We arrived & where greeted by our booked name - only people with baby - shown to our reserved table, with high chair. Sproggle is 8 months old, breast fed & blw. Getting off the train had interrupted a breastfeed, so when we sat down I continued to breastfeed her.

A couple - late fifties, early sixties - sat at the next table.

When sproggle was fed I went to change her before the food arrived & then put her in the high chair. Before we'd got the high chair tucked up close to the table, she headbutted the edge of the table & started to cry. So we took her out to give her a cuddle. She was still upset, so I put her back on the breast. She subsequently went to sleep.

The couple at the next table looked like they were leaving, but actually there drinks had been put on the table behind them. The lady was clearly trying to be placed at a different table.

They stayed at the table behind.

Sproggle cried, cried not screamed, for less than 3 minutes, but was on the breast for quite a while.

When she woke, she sat happily in the high chair stuffing her face with pitta & houmus. Making a mess, that we cleared.

The staff had no issue with us.

So were the couple being unreasonable to move tables?

OP posts:
shockers · 15/02/2010 11:44

Mine are 'Lish' and 'Smellycat' but I tend to stick to DS and DD on here.

They may have just lost a Grandchild... you'll never know why they moved but it's best not to assume.

Morloth · 15/02/2010 11:48

I call DS snotface and ratbag, but these are more descriptions than actual nicknames. I think we did used Sproglet for a bit and the current resident is either the spawn or gigantor.

bellissima · 15/02/2010 11:53

My DD1 was Grotbag for a while. then Monster.

If I am out with my varms I completely understand why Pizza Express etc put us near the tables with other varms. On those - rare - occasions when I am out and varm-free I like to be far away from (potentially) crying babies, squawking toddlers, truculent pre-teens and - Oh God worst of all - the children's party table. If I was put next to any of these and there was a table further away that I could quietly move to then I would.

Original poster
MrsDimples · 15/02/2010 12:05

sorry been busy self flagellating for using the word sproggle yes its a nickname - DD is like nails down a blackboard to my ears

I suppose I was a little miffed because I could see them through out. In hindsight they may have just wanted a better table, the bloke couldn't keep his eyes of the big round corner booth table that was empty. They spent most of the time on their blackberry/iphones.

The restaurant was very noisy, several large groups in, so no one was having a quiet meal. The staff were just 'romancing' the place up, red ballons on tables etc as we were leaving.

To those that were asking, I changed the nappy in the toilets.

Of course they were entitled to have a baby free meal, though I was secretly hoping baby would fling a houmused bit of bread onto one of them, alas it only went in her gob

OP posts:
pagwatch · 15/02/2010 12:09

I know what you are saying Mrs Dimples - but not wanting a baby near you when you are out does not make you a vile person.

I have three kids and DD is now 7. We go out when we can but babysitting is complicated for us. The spread of my family means that I had effectively a baby toddler for about 14 years. About 8 of those years were quite phenomenally stressful.
I remain very 'triggered' by babys crying or fussing.

I don't dislike babies, on the contrary, but when DH and i get a chance to be on our own both os us would prefer, if we can, to be seated away from babies. Otherwise I am distracted and it is less fun for us.

I would never offend anyone but I would move discreetly if I could.
That doesn't make me horrid. I don't think

Chillohippi · 15/02/2010 12:10

They quietly moved, without making a fuss. I don't see the problem.

violethill · 15/02/2010 12:40

I don't think there is a problem, and I still don't understand the point of posting.

Unless the OP actually thinks sproggle is so amazing that it should be mandatory for other diners to sit near them!

Also, blw tends to be by nature fairly messy - nothing wrong with that at all. But I would absolutely not choose to sit near an 8 month old feeding itself hummus if I were paying to go out for a cosy meal for two. Not my idea of pleasant scenery!

Gluggy · 15/02/2010 13:00

If i were you i would assume they left to give you more privacy - itsa really nice thought. Wish everyone was so polite.

paisleyleaf · 15/02/2010 13:09

So there's a chance it might not have even been anything to do with sproggles - just a better table.

expatinscotland · 15/02/2010 13:12

Sproggle? Sproggle?!

They were not BU because if you had been sat next to me I'd have needed a barf bag at the table.

expatinscotland · 15/02/2010 13:16

'Of course they were entitled to have a baby free meal, though I was secretly hoping baby would fling a houmused bit of bread onto one of them, alas it only went in her gob'

You sound a very pleasant person.

I'd say 'Enjoy your precious first born, ' but you obviously do so much you think everyone else should, too.

Muser · 15/02/2010 13:18

The funniest thing about this thread is all the people commenting on the use of the word "Sproggle" who think that DD/DS/DP/DH etc aren't equally vomitworthy. I'm with you MrsDimples, fingers down the blackboard stuff.

RedbinDippers · 15/02/2010 13:19

I doubt if the elderly couple out for a valentines day really wanted to sit next to a couple with a noisy baby, although that's a risk we take when dining in public places. They didn't make a fuss or try and have you thrown out, what's to complain about?

LetThereBeRock · 15/02/2010 13:30

I don't think of dh as dear/darling husband even if that's what it's supposed to mean. I read it as the initials and translate it to husband, not darling husband.

violethill · 15/02/2010 13:37

Muser - DD/DS/DP/DH are standard Mumsnet acronyms. I have always assume they were invented with irony! It doesn't mean we always think of our children as 'Darling Daughter' etc

'Sproggle' is revolting - as is the term 'sprog'

piscesmoon · 15/02/2010 13:38

I can't see why it is unreasonable. They didn't make any sort of fuss, just quietly moved tables.

Muser · 15/02/2010 13:39

They may be standard, they may be used ironically at times, but some people will find them just as cringemaking as the nickname the OP uses. So I find it funny that everyone here is so sanctimonious about a nickname. It's made me chuckle.

LetThereBeRock · 15/02/2010 13:42

Dd/dh/dp/ds etc aren't exclusive to Mumsnet.

ChristianaTheTwelfth · 15/02/2010 13:47

Message withdrawn

JemL · 15/02/2010 13:48

how can you remember everything you did over the course of this meal in such minute detail?! meals out with my children just pass in a blur...!

Anyway, they were NBU. They probably thought they were being nice.

violethill · 15/02/2010 13:51

Very true JemL !

I mean:

'Sproggle cried, cried not screamed, for less than 3 minutes,'

Does she whip out a stopwatch and time everything sproggle does? Or perhaps her husband was videoing the whole meal?!

It's all a bit too obsessive for my liking!

BornToFolk · 15/02/2010 14:10

I don't understand the problem.

The couple may have had a problem with you. They may have just coveted a better table. But whatever their issue was, they sorted it without bothering you. What else should they have done?!

thedollshouse · 15/02/2010 14:17

I always discreetly move if I am seated near a crying baby. If there were other tables free what is the problem?

Morloth · 15/02/2010 14:19

I move away/choose tables away from little babies at the moment, any sort of crying triggers a let down and I don't have my own baby to deal with it yet.

Original poster
MrsDimples · 15/02/2010 14:33

Oh FFS

"I mean:

'Sproggle cried, cried not screamed, for less than 3 minutes,'

Does she whip out a stopwatch and time everything sproggle does? Or perhaps her husband was videoing the whole meal?!

It's all a bit too obsessive for my liking! "

I was giving details of what happened, to give a clear picture. It was the 3rd time in a week I've eaten out with sproggle. The only time she has cried - because she banged her head, hard enough to make her cry. This is a detail I think should be remembered, I also know & will remember how long she cried ffor as I sought to comfort her ASAP for her sake as well as other diners.

IMHO it is the management of the eaterie to decide the suitability of where to seat us - the table had been reserved. I also feel that the couple should have declined the table when offered it initially, as the baby was there.

I probably am being too sensitive or precious, but have taken it as an insult on my mothering & behaviour of sproggle that they choose to move. I stated that she cried, when she banged her head i.e. she wasn't crying for no reason & I stated how long she cried for, so you didn't think she was sat crying for an indefinite period.

If that's obsessive, you're unreasonable.

OP posts: