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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

well not me but couple at next table this afternoon

128 replies

MrsDimples · 14/02/2010 22:31

During the week OH booked him, me & baby into a diner / bar / restaurant for a meal this valentine afternoon. We chose this place as it is more relaxed than a formal restaurant & avoided prime times of lunch & evening as we would have sproggle with us.

We arrived & where greeted by our booked name - only people with baby - shown to our reserved table, with high chair. Sproggle is 8 months old, breast fed & blw. Getting off the train had interrupted a breastfeed, so when we sat down I continued to breastfeed her.

A couple - late fifties, early sixties - sat at the next table.

When sproggle was fed I went to change her before the food arrived & then put her in the high chair. Before we'd got the high chair tucked up close to the table, she headbutted the edge of the table & started to cry. So we took her out to give her a cuddle. She was still upset, so I put her back on the breast. She subsequently went to sleep.

The couple at the next table looked like they were leaving, but actually there drinks had been put on the table behind them. The lady was clearly trying to be placed at a different table.

They stayed at the table behind.

Sproggle cried, cried not screamed, for less than 3 minutes, but was on the breast for quite a while.

When she woke, she sat happily in the high chair stuffing her face with pitta & houmus. Making a mess, that we cleared.

The staff had no issue with us.

So were the couple being unreasonable to move tables?

OP posts:
BariatricObama · 15/02/2010 09:11

i would have moved, not because of your baby but because i would have found your fussing about with the child unbearable and if i had heard you refer to 'sproggle' i would have found it hard to digest my food.

HanBanan · 15/02/2010 09:13

What's wrong with sproggle? I think it's sweet! She obviously loves her baby to bits and that's wonderful. Bit harsh to take the mickey be fair she sounds like a lovely mum, nice couple with kid going out for a meal, breastfeeding well etc.

I'm jealous!

But back to the thread the older couple were just doing their thing quietly and that's ok.

ifeelitall · 15/02/2010 09:15

I think they weren't being unreasonable if they just moved discreetly. And I think you should give your dd whichever nickname you like.

I have a far greater problem with the use of the word "ishoos" which appears everywhere on this website.

Morloth · 15/02/2010 09:17

Sounds fine to me, I have moved tables to get away from kids. I have a kid, if I go out without him I don't want to listen to someone else's if possible.

They didn't say anything to you, so it is none of your business where they choose to sit.

Also if I had spotted the nappy change (presumably a wet one) I would have been worried about a stinky change at the table later on. Or did you take her to the restroom to change her?

SoupDragon · 15/02/2010 09:22

You are perfectly entitled to take you baby out for a meal and breastfeed her.
Other people are perfectly entitled to move so they don't have to see it.
You are being unreasonable to think they should sit and put up with your baby rather than quietly move away.

pagwatch · 15/02/2010 09:22

does anyone else think that the OP has had a look around and asked for a table elsewhere.... netmums?

Morloth · 15/02/2010 09:27

Better than the braying dickhead we got stuck next yesterday. Forgot it was Valentines Day, went to Wagamama which was packed full of kids (as expected) and this couple who were absolutely painful.

He was clearly showing off and swearing loudly and she was giggling nervously and looking around etc. DH and I looked at each other and said "First date". If it had been me, there definitely wouldn't have been a second.

When a staff member in Wagamama on a Sunday afternoon in Nappy Valley asks you to keep it down, you know you have crossed a line.

chocices · 15/02/2010 09:28

I have no problem with someone breastfeeding their baby, no problem with a child smearing food over themselves.

I have a real issue with the changing on nappies in eating situations. Take them to the toilets to change nappies. No matte how young/old the child.

fernie3 · 15/02/2010 09:42

YANBU to take the baby out but the other couple dont seem to have done anything wrong either.

I have to admit I have not been anywhere more exotice than kfc since my son started walking, my other two are fine but my son cant even sit at home let alone when we are out! I wouldnt force him on other people lol.

coldtits · 15/02/2010 09:49

Not everyone wants to listen to your baby AT ALL. Not even for a minute, not even if you're clearly comforting her, not even if she doesn't squeak more than twice. Some people cannot6 abide the sound of screaming babies and will move heaven and earth to get away from one.

I am one of those people. My babies - fine. Friend's babies - fine (because expected). Other people's random babies in restaurants - they have the right to be there, just as much as I have the right to turn on my heel and walk out.

ShowOfHands · 15/02/2010 09:56

chocices, I don't think she changed the baby at the table. I think we'd all be commenting if she had!

Cmon OP, come back...

Morloth · 15/02/2010 10:03

ShowOfHands is right, sorry I missed that and thought OP changed baby at table.

heQet · 15/02/2010 10:08

I agree that nobody was being unreasonable. They wanted a different table that's not unreasonable. They don't have to sit next to you if they'd rather be somewhere a bit further away, for whatever reason.

However, you are not being unreasonable to have the huff on. It's not nice to feel criticised, because moving away, well, it's a silent criticism of you, isn't it?

But they moved. They had a nice evening, you had a nice evening. No harm done.

Not everyone likes babies. Strangers aren't all going to coo over our children (they should though ) some people feel children disturb them.

Now some will moan and have a go at you, and that is FAR worse than what that couple did.

Don't feel bad OP. I always think that the OP has been upset when threads go this way and picture them sitting at the computer feeling bad.

Of course, OP might be out having a...el? cl? rf? damn, what is it called and not giving a crap about the views of internet warriors at all

LIZS · 15/02/2010 10:09

I think they were pretty sensible. Saved you the worry of whether your baby was annoying them. They had no way of knowing how it would pan out and you would have wondered if every comment and gesture was about you. If they had had a free choice of table to start with, they (and probably we too) would probably have chosen an alternative. Would you have felt offended then ?

TheSmallClanger · 15/02/2010 10:16

People are entitled to move tables in restaurants if they want to. I try not to sit next to young families if I'm out for a childfree night with DH, or even if I have my 11yo DD with me - she is far more judgemental and has the most cutting way of muttering "GROSS!" just under her breath at anything she deems icky. (I do not condone or encourage this, btw).

GibbonInARibbon · 15/02/2010 10:22

I was going to say shame on you for use of the word Sproggle but then noticed you have not been back. Then I thought 'maybe it's a nickname and we've all been a tad harsh [guilt]

As Heqet said I hate to think of someone sat at their comp feeling sad/ridiculed.

I don't think anyone was unreasonable here tbh. You may be overthinking it slightly as the couple did not complain or try to make you feel uncomfortable.

Hope you had a lovely meal

heQet · 15/02/2010 10:29

I assume sproggle is a nickname.

I call mine buggerlugs.

and muffin, and chuckles, and bugger, and weirdy

ChristianaTheTwelfth · 15/02/2010 10:30

Message withdrawn

heQet · 15/02/2010 10:32

I have been known to call mine claptrapvonshpilderbeans.

I think I win.

ChristianaTheTwelfth · 15/02/2010 10:33

Message withdrawn

GibbonInARibbon · 15/02/2010 10:38

claptrapvonshpilderbeans

Love it.

heQet · 15/02/2010 10:42

Sometimes, Christina

do you have any nicknames for yours, gibbon?

ShowOfHands · 15/02/2010 10:42

I don't think there's a parent alive who doesn't use nicknames for their children and usually they're nonsensical and inexplicable but we don't use them on here. I'd have to spend a lot of time typing 'Buggerlugs has currently got a penchant for imaginary friends, our favourite is the elephant in the tree. As I said to Squiggly Bob this morning, it's not that an elephant can't live in a tree, no no, Squigsie, it's that I think you've picked the wrong tree. Of course Giggly Joe just gave me a withering look and we agree to disagree'.

Of course, I despise the word 'sprog' and lengthening it just draws more attention to it, attempting to make it cutesy just upsets me. It detracted somewhat from the moving of tables business.

GibbonInARibbon · 15/02/2010 11:04

I make up silly names for DD all the time but the one I use most often is one my Irish mother called me when I was a child, sadly I have no idea how to spell it but I'm sure in English it means small fish? (Tt could have even been a word my grandfather made up, he was a fisherman) I will have to ask her now how it is spelt

TulipsInTheRain · 15/02/2010 11:20

íasc beág?

that said my dutch Oma used a mangling of my actual name that basilally translates as 'animals' so who am i to judge

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