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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To lie about DD2s age

254 replies

princessparty · 14/02/2010 22:08

Went to a big climbing wall today.You have to be 6 to climb and DD2 is nearly 5 but would have been really bored watching the other DC.
She is a tiny little thing who actually looks younger than her age anyway but they didn't question it.Was glad I did lie as she climbed all the beginner walls very quickly ( although she didn't bother with sticking to just one colour holds as she just wasn't physically large enough) She then moved on to bigger walls which are about 4-storeys high and she even had a good go at overhangs in the bouldering section.There is no danger really as DH was supervising and belaying for her.
So is it unreasonable to ignore age restrictions ?

OP posts:
StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 17/02/2010 18:47

Princessparty - please answer my question from earlier:

"And please explain to us how it is good parenting to raise children who think that the rules don't apply to them. They don't have to wait politely to be dismissed by the teacher, but can just leave when their mum wants. They don't have to obey the rules that are there to keep them safe, and can lie to get what they want."

You are teaching your dds to lie and circumvent rules in order to get what they want - and you dare to criticise psychomum!!

And what about the lesson you failed to teach your daughter? The lesson of delayed gratification - that you can't always do what you want, when you want? Ds3 hates the fact that his older brothers can do things that he is too young to do - he has to wait to get a paper round, isn't allowed to go into Glasgow on his own, won't be able to start driving at the same time as ds1 - but that is life - he has learned that lesson, but apparently neither you nor your dds have!

rainbowinthesky · 17/02/2010 18:47

What was the point of this thread?

rainbowinthesky · 17/02/2010 18:49

DavidTEnants - we are forever telling dd (6) that she can't do the same things her db who is 14 does because he is 14. It's life. I cannot imagine us all going somewhere as a family and lying...

upahill · 17/02/2010 18:52

Bowed out of this one banging my head in dispair!!!

Technicaly pp is right in some aspects but acidents DO happen. I think we have mentioned this several times. Amazingly enough accidents are usually unforeseeable!!

PP you have not answered my questions. You clearly don't give a monkeys about anyone else.

One more thing I agree your daughter may have been bored while the others had their turn but that's life. My DS was mighty brassed off when he couldn't go to GO APE with me and his brother and some mates because he wasn't 10 until a month later. Tough on him but he has got something to look forward to in the spring when we can all go now he is 10 (Because that's the rules - 'even though he would have been perfectly safe blah blah blah...... I know what I'm doing with a harness blah blah blah!! '

psychomum5 · 17/02/2010 18:52

but it still wasn;t on equipement you bought, YOU paid for, and YOU insured. Maybe you took your own harness, but it was still at a place that was not yours to ignore the rules of, just to amuse yourself and your DDs in.

argh, you are still not getting it. You must be a new medical anomoly with the thickest head seen by mankind....

you have not addressed ANY of upahills posts and she knows more than I do (not hard, I know zilch about climbing walls). She is more of an expert than even you, and you ignore her, so clearly you DO know you are in the wrong, but won;t climb down off of your big high horse in case it ruffles your princessparty frock!

upahill · 17/02/2010 18:53

Rainbow the point of this thread has become lost a bit like my will to live!!

penguin73 · 17/02/2010 18:54

If you are so sure that you are in the right PP and everybody else here (including someone who works in this field) is wrong why did you feel it necessary to lie? Why not just say 'my daugther's 4 but is a brilliant climber, here is her own harness and please can she come on your climbing wall? DH is an expert climber and will look after her?'

More importantly, if you came on here for other people's opinions and feedback why are you ignoring all the valid points raised?

If you came on here to gloat or to try and validate your appalling behaviour then you should have realised by now that you are in the wrong place, that you have been unreasonable and either accept that or stop posting. You are not convinvincing anyone that you are right, just adding to the generally poor impression you have made elsewhere on this site.

rainbowinthesky · 17/02/2010 18:54

I understand teh whole insurance thing but I am also that anyone would think it okay to lie openly about such a thing with your dc there. WHat on aerth are you teaching all your kids? So she was bored. SO what?

piscesmoon · 17/02/2010 19:05

I will bow out too-I am not surprised that upahill is losing the will to live! Why start the post? Umpteen people have told you that you are being unreasonable and yet you still think you are above the rules.
Your DH has been climbing for 30 yrs-in that case he should know better!!
I expect that you would be the first to try and sue the climbing wall if you thought they were in the wrong!

piscesmoon · 17/02/2010 19:07

'So she was bored. SO what? '

Well put-so what? It is OK to lie and your DD know that you have lied but she must on no account be bored! Princess indeed!

Original poster
princessparty · 17/02/2010 19:11

Well we didn't actually say 'X is nearly 5' because they didn't ask.But there was a big sign up saying minimum age 6 , so we were lying by not saying anything IYKWIM

Sorry uphill not sure which point I haven't answered

OP posts:
piscesmoon · 17/02/2010 19:14

You think it is alright to set your DC the example that keeping quiet, breaking the rules isn't lying?!! Word fail me!

penguin73 · 17/02/2010 19:15

so I repeat, why lie if you are so sure you are right? POints unanswered that we have all asked are why you think rules don't apply to you, why you seem unconcerned about the implications of your behaviour for the company, and the example you are setting your daughter.

psychomum5 · 17/02/2010 19:15

oh the joy, you FINALLY agree you were lying, and therefore being unreasonable.....

"Well we didn't actually say 'X is nearly 5' because they didn't ask.But there was a big sign up saying minimum age 6 , so we were lying by not saying anything IYKWIM"

note the "Well we didn't actually say 'X is nearly 5' because they didn't ask.But there was a big sign up saying minimum age 6 , so we were lying by not saying anything IYKWIM"

and as for not understanding what of upahills posts you haven;t answered, well, she asked you properly in a list of points a little bit further down.

LilyBolero · 17/02/2010 19:17

YABU for the following reason.

When you go to a climbing wall, it is not 'yours by right to use.' You are permitted to use it by the management of the facility, as long as you abide by their rules.

You were not abiding by their rules, and therefore should not have been permitted to use the facility. People don't have an automatic right to use facilities, but the people running the facility do have a right to decide what is safe use of their own facilities. You removed that decision from them.

PixieOnaLeaf · 17/02/2010 19:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

piscesmoon · 17/02/2010 19:22

I think it is what politicians call 'being economical with the truth'-I call it lying.
Dress it up how you like, it was dishonest-you knew you were breaking the clearly stated rule and yet you thought it was OK because you knew better! God forbid that a 4 yr old should be bored for a couple of hours!

nickytwotimes · 17/02/2010 19:24

Yabu, but you will never acknowledge it.

You have come across very badly on this and other threads, PP.

Bigpants1 · 17/02/2010 19:58

Havent read the whole thread, but, YABU. If you knew there was likely to be an age limit-and lets face it,with climbing walls there is likely to be, then it was hardly fair to take your dd to this place. What, if the age restriction had been enforced? Im sure she would have loooved watching her siblings have fun. Why not choose a venue all the dc can enjoy, or have your dh take the older ones, and you go elsewhere with dd.

Original poster
princessparty · 17/02/2010 21:33

Psychomum It was not a typo ,I meant to say we were lying,I've made no bones about that from the outset.That's even what the title of the post says !!

i think lying is sometimes essential.Can you imagine a world without lies ?

upahill-would you mind telling me the time of your post with the unanswered questions because I have been up and down the thread a few times and can't find it.

OP posts:
PixieOnaLeaf · 17/02/2010 21:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
princessparty · 17/02/2010 22:04

It is OK to lie in the right circumstances.
Would you tell your DC that their picture was shit , or a friend that she looked fat in something she'd already bought

OP posts:
Original poster
princessparty · 17/02/2010 22:06

It is OK to lie in the right circumstances.
Would you tell your DC that their picture was shit , or a friend that she looked fat in something she'd already bought

OP posts:
springlamb · 17/02/2010 22:09

And what happens when your extremely talented climber of a dd is on her first climb in the Himalaya and decides that the rules set by the expedition leader don't really apply to her, because Mummy taught her so when she was only little.

And what happens when the school bully says 'well the teachers say don't hit the other kids but my Mum says I bloody well can so PP's dd I'm gonna pulverise you...' You'd be on with the tiara and in that school as quick as you could stick yer ermine cape on!

I think you've dug yourself into a hole here. There must have been a slight niggle (or a remark from a sensible acquaintance), why did you put this in AIBU, why didn't you put this in Chat under Proud Mummy Moment if you're so sure you're right.

I think, like so many princesses nowadays, you're a bit lacking in common sense, and I'm hiding this silly thread now.

Original poster
princessparty · 17/02/2010 22:18

I don't think she's' an extremely talented climber' perhaps quite fearless and strong but nothing special.I think perhaps age restriction should be replaced by height restrictions

OP posts: