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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To lie about DD2s age

254 replies

princessparty · 14/02/2010 22:08

Went to a big climbing wall today.You have to be 6 to climb and DD2 is nearly 5 but would have been really bored watching the other DC.
She is a tiny little thing who actually looks younger than her age anyway but they didn't question it.Was glad I did lie as she climbed all the beginner walls very quickly ( although she didn't bother with sticking to just one colour holds as she just wasn't physically large enough) She then moved on to bigger walls which are about 4-storeys high and she even had a good go at overhangs in the bouldering section.There is no danger really as DH was supervising and belaying for her.
So is it unreasonable to ignore age restrictions ?

OP posts:
5inthebed · 16/02/2010 19:27

That poor boy! Sounds awful. Definitely a reason why you should follow rules in such places.

missmapp · 16/02/2010 19:34

This isnt really about wether the OP thinks her dd is safe, it is that she doesnt want to follow rules that dont suit her, this gives a far more dangerous message to her dd than any climbing wall!!

PeedOffWithNits · 16/02/2010 19:51

agreed missmapp, teaching one so young to lie for convenience like that is very sad IMO

piscesmoon · 16/02/2010 20:03

I expect OP is of the view that these things only happen to other people.

dilemma456 · 16/02/2010 20:33

Message withdrawn

vess · 17/02/2010 04:36

Yes, but surely what matters most is whether you are restrained properly or not?
Even if the child is over 6, they can still fall if not restrained properly.

Like I said, there's a climbing wall near us where they let kids aged 4-5 to climb. It is 5 storey high, and you can go as high as you can. When you let go of the wall, you don't fall, you are suspended in mid-air because there is a person on the ground at the other end of your rope. Provided the equipment is sound, it is probably safer than playing on a climbing frame at the park.

Phoenix4725 · 17/02/2010 05:42

my dd likes climbing walls went on one on holiday without lying about age , she is 7 next month.We went to one last month locally but dd had to accept that though she was old enough she dd not meet the weight rules so had to miss out

piscesmoon · 17/02/2010 08:08

There are lots of things that children might want to do but have to wait. Rock climbing isn't playing, it isn't intended to be an adventure playground. It is a dangerous sport, if not done properly. I wouldn't be happy to introduce a child to a sport that requires sticking to the rules, by starting from the premise that the very first rule doesn't apply to your child!
My teenage son goes to a climbing wall every week, he is a serious climber, it isn't a playground for the under 5's! Of course young children should be able to learn and they use them too, under supervision. They need to be of the age when they can understand the seriousness of it all-until then there are plenty of soft play areas and adventure playgrounds.
If the climbing wall near you Vess, allows DCs as young as 4 yrs you can be sure that the insurance covers them. This was not the case with OP, the age was 6 yrs and she lied. Fine if nothing goes wrong-a disaster if it does. (Of course OP is immune, nasty things only happen to other people!)

upahill · 17/02/2010 09:09

A quick update. We had our monthly instructors review last night. I mentioned about this thread and how not only PP seems to think it is ok to lie to people like us but others are in agreement as well.
It has been decided that anyone who looks underage for any of our activities we will now not accept either their or parents word for it as we have always done. We will now ask for proof of age. If that is not provided they will be excluded from an activity.

This may have repercussions for many groups as they may not be with their parents or guardians.

It's not worth the risk if people have the attitude about 'piddling H& S rules' or 'too many regulations' or 'serves them right if there is an accident'.

Blondeshavemorefun · 17/02/2010 09:19

yabvu - there are age limits on certain activitys to safeguard the children and the places that do these activitys

if had ben nearly 6, then fair enough, but not at 4, and not if small for her age

StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 17/02/2010 11:04

Princessparty - read upahill's last post, and see how your thoughtless and selfish actions have affected other people. Upahill - I hope that news of your group's decision spreads round all of the adventurous sports community - then at least some good will come of this when princessparty is challenged to prove her dd's age the next time they take her climbing.

And please explain to us how it is good parenting to raise children who think that the rules don't apply to them. They don't have to wait politely to be dismissed by the teacher, but can just leave when their mum wants. They don't have to obey the rules that are there to keep them safe, and can lie to get what they want.

I would not want to raise children who thought this was OK.

psychomum5 · 17/02/2010 17:20

upahill.......how shamefull PP should feel now, altho she will still find some way of absolving herself of blame and instead say it is just down to hysteria.

see, in her worl she is perfect as are her children, and so how can the rules possibly need changing when they are only there to annoy rather than to save lives.

piscesmoon · 17/02/2010 17:29

It is always the same, a system works perfectly well and then someone comes along, and abuses it, and spoils it for everyone. Upshill's centre will now have DCs of the right age whose parents don't happen to have the proof on them. It is such a shame, but I think they are right to take that decision. Totally avoidable -parents should be able to be trusted-especially when it is for the safety of their DCs.

Original poster
princessparty · 17/02/2010 17:53

If upahill wants to start checking kids age to cover her own a*se then maybe I've done her a big favour in preventing her getting in trouble for underage children climbing.

I have explained lots of times but will do so again
DD was wearing her own harness (she has climbed outside too) which was fitted by DH , the rope was tied by him and she was being belayed and supervised one to one by him , while I entertained the others.He has been climbing for over 30 years.She was in a controlled environment.Safety -hers or anyone else's was not an isuue.I am beginning to wonder whether some of the posters on here have actually been to a climbing wall from their inane comments about her falling great distances on her head, or on top of somebody ! .

OP posts:
upahill · 17/02/2010 17:57

I think the thing that astounded my Head of Service, who is an older kindly man, was that anyone was willing to take chances with their children. I don't think he believed me at first.

Like he said, we would rather lose a few quid that would have been the price of a session than have anyone hurt and risking our license.

He also pointed out that yes, a child may be able to climb but you have to have a cut off point somewhere and that 6 was a figure that is generally agreed due to reasons such as the hand/movement co ordination and other motor skills development.

Our minimum age for climbing is 8 so we are slightly stricter than the centre pp went to.

psychomum5 · 17/02/2010 18:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
princessparty · 17/02/2010 18:11

Can you explain how we were taking chances ?Why should she necessarily be a worse climber than a 6 yr old ?

OP posts:
IndigoSky · 17/02/2010 18:15

Why bother posting?

You obviously think yanbu.

So why bother wasting everyone's time asking if you aren't prepared to accept that you might have been unreasonable?

Bit bored or something? Nothing on tv? Kids ignoring you?

psychomum5 · 17/02/2010 18:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

upahill · 17/02/2010 18:27

PP HAve you read ANY of my posts.
Does any one of them make sense?
Do you not give a toss?
Do I have a point on Any of them?

What is it? I'm getting jaded going round in circles here I'm bowing out once I've had an answer.

Original poster
princessparty · 17/02/2010 18:27

Psychomum I hardly think someone who lists their main pastime as drinking wine is in a position to lecture me about child safety !
Also do you think it is wise to have a picture of your teenage daughter bending over to flash her knickers on the internet is wise or appropriate(genuine concern]

OP posts:
DandyLioness · 17/02/2010 18:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

psychomum5 · 17/02/2010 18:31

passtime of drinking wine is something I enjoy.....is there anything I have said that involves putting my children in danger while drinking said wine???

and as for my DD.....she was in a dance costume, so not flashing knickers, so maybe if you looked properly at the pictures you would actually see that.

but this is not about me, and so I don;t have to defend myself.

this is about you, and your boasting attitude that rules don;t apply to you or your precious daughters. (or ARE they that precious if you can put them in harms way, or teach them how to be immoral??).

I don;t break laws, and I don;t put my children at risk, so please don;t try and make yourself feel better by looking at my profile and bitching at me, it doesn;t work!

you are still a jumped up immoral loon, and nothing changes that does it....

Original poster
princessparty · 17/02/2010 18:41

Psychomum 'you were taking chances on safety equipment not set up to carry a child of the slight build and weight of your child. You say she was safe, and yes, clearly she was, but until you tried it how could you possibly TRUST that it was safe. And what if it hadn;t been safe......how would you have found out.....only by your DD falling and possibly killing herself, and anyon'e else she might have knocked / fallen on.

Because, psychomum, I understand how a pulley works , and I understand that it won't work less well with a lighter load.I also have explained that DD has her own harness which was bought from a specialist shop.I also understand that the ropes are too far away for one climber to interfere with another.If you want to split hairs a smaller climber poses less of a risk to others than a bigger heavier one.

OP posts:
Bunnyjo · 17/02/2010 18:46

I think that YAB extremely U princessparty.

Yes, you know your child and her abilities and she was being supervised by your experienced DH, but this isn't the point. The place you took her had an age restriction of 6 and over. This restiction is in place for many reasons, including insurance purposes. You have absolutely no right to 'bend' those kind of rules and regulations to suit you. I imagine you don't have any psychic abilities that guaranteed your child was not going to get hurt - therefore you are not just unreasonable, but bloody irresponsible too.

If you are not willing to accept that the vast majority of people think you were being incredibly unreasonable, then you should not have posted on here. Either you believe you may have been unreasonable and were looking for reassurance that hasn't materialised, or you are that ridiculously obstinate you believe you are ALWAYS right. I believe it is the latter and it doesn't matter what anyone says, you are not going to listen.

People like you annoy me incredibly !