breast is best

[Haitch27]

Is anyone else who is pregnant sick to the back bloody teeth of the 'breast is best' campaign being shoved down your throat everywhere you turn and being badgered by health carers to attend breastfeeding 'workshops'?? Maybe its just where I live but it seems to be everywhere yet the one thing no one says is "are you planning to breastfeed"? Assumption that all Mums will!!
Curious to know as I said if it is just my area or is it everywhere?

I agree that the BF'ing campaign is annoying and assumes potential mothers don't know about the benefits.

Most people know it is better. I believe what is actually needed is the practical help in actually doing it.

I think that breastfeeding support people need to be more promoted.

Things were absolute hell with DD2. I was sobbing my heart out, she wasn't feeding properly, I was engorged. But because she was my third I was sure I could get through and it would be fine. Mumsnet talked sense into me and I called the support number. She was in my area and was in my lounge within 10 mins.

She was amazing. Calm, patient, understanding. Made me feel normal at needing to relearn latching. I was in post birth haze though so I don't remember her name or I would send her a huge bunch of flowers.

I think, for me, I needed to be forced to be honest. I was thinking I knew what to do, so told the m/w I was fine with feeding. If she had sat me down and said "show me a feed" ok, it would have been intimidating, but I would have gotten help earlier.

I agree with you ISNT thats forms part of the reason as to why mums do switch to formula if bf is not working out, you have to look at the situation and do what you think is best at that moment in time.

I plan to breastfeed if I can, and I am sick also of the campaign. I got from my midwife this horrid little cartoon booklet that promotes breastfeeding and it has a picture of husband thinking of a lovely slim pre-preghnancy wife which they make clear only happens if you breastfeed. I found that insulting on so many levels.

also... can anyone explain why it is so bad to combine both? If my milk is not enough, why is it seen to be a problem to use both breast and formula? I have been told that under no circumstances should the two methods be combined. I was never sure why.... (genuine query).

and if it means giving formula than so be it. I am more annoyed that i did not get the support i needed, I have resolved things within myself that i did the best i could in that siutation and it does not make you a bad mum at all! It seems to me that quite a lot of mums who were not successful in bf do beat themselves up about it and failure ishoos, I know I did for dd first year anyway.

I think that most pg mothers intend to BF, but for some (like me), no matter what they do, it doesn't work at all.

Stupid barbed comments to suggest somehow that we are harming our baby, not trying or too lazy are never helpful and the agressive promotion of BF is not at all appropriate.

If we can BF we most probably will. Why can't people, other women mostly, understand this?

I love the 'Every BF makes a difference' idea though, gets the message across without the pointy fingers. As for Breast is Best? Breast is NORMAL? So I'm ABNORMAL????

In some cases, mine particularly, thank god for Formula, otherwise how on earth would my DS have grown to the hulking great 4yo he is today?

OP, do what you feel like doing, give BF a go, for all the reasons we all know, but don't beat yourself up if it doesn't happen.

MPuppy they say that milk supply works on a supply/demand so if you give formula top ups the body thinks you do not need milk so produces less, but it may be necessary just temporarily, than resume full time bf later when you are more settled with a newborn. There is an expert on here i am sure that will help as i am no expert.

Yes I much prefer the every bf makes a difference than the 'breast is best' and thats what campigns to promote bf should focus on, imo you will find that those who give it a go and only plan to bf so that the baby gets the first bf and formula for the rest, actully like it and carry on, some are even extended bf after only intending to feed for a few weeks or months.

Introducing a bottle in the early days can interfere with establishment of milk supply.

Also if there is an "easy option" around people can start using it more and more if they are finding things difficult.

Having said that i have a couple of friends who have given one bottle a day from the off and everything has been fine.

It's a belt and braces approach I think, rather than reflecting that in real life some things will work for some people and for others they won't, which obviously is too complicated for a hard hitting campaign.

I find it interesting that despite all the posters the general perception of bf is that it is fiendishly difficult and you will be very lucky indeed to be able to manage it.

The assumption is that most women will try, but very very few will succeed, kind of like joining the SAS.

Is this how it is viewed elsewhere?

You didn't know a baby could get dehydrated if they weren't taking in enough fluid? You didn't know the signs of a dehydrated baby? Didn't you read a book about babies before you had one? I don't understand why you are waiting for HCP's to tell you things you need to know about your own baby.

If I'm giving my opinion, I might as well do it properly before I hide the thread. I think this has all got completely out of hand on the UK, this bf debating is ridiculous. People seem to expect everything handed to them on a platter by the NHS, they should coddle you and teach you and do it all for you. Why can't people do more for themselves? There are plenty of non-NHS sources of BF support and advice, you have to go look for it. You have to learn about feeding and seek help when you need it. You can't sit around and wait for the overstrertched understaffed NHS to do it all for you.

Stop all the hysteria and enabling. I'm so sick of hearing people whinge about how on the one hand theres no support to BF properly, but on the other attack anyone who tries to promote it and support it. I'm so sick of people complaining about "the breastfeeding mafia" who "force breast is best down your throats". Its such nonsense. You complain that theres no support but you attack programmes meant to normalise breastfeeding which in turn would create a culture that more easily supports BF.

What we need is a widespread acceptance that breast is best (and not the begrudging "yeah we know that we're not stupid BUT" answer that is most common) and we need to stop whinging about it. Like a pp said, how many of you who say you needed more support have actually done anything like donate time or money to provide it? Or is it always someone elses problem?

I detest the 'breast is best' campaign.

Breastfeeding is the biological norm for feeding babies. Formula feeding in the western world with access to clean boiling water is an adequate substitute for those mothers who need or want it alongside or instead of breastfeeding.

Exclusively breastfed infant have the best health outcomes, however again in the western world with good medical care, majority of formula fed babies will be healthy and thrive as well as their breastfed counterparts.

These are the facts and no poster will help a mother breastfeeding...what we need is for midwifes, GP and health vistors to be properly trained in giving breastfeeding support. So the mothers who wish to nurse can get the support to do so.

chibi I had that view as I had about 6 close friends who had BF and had had real trouble - cracked nipples, mastitis, you know all the stuff.

So I expected the worst, and prepared very carefully, and was lucky, I found it pretty easy.

An adjunct to this is that I think that in the antenatal classes they should be more honest about the problems that can arise - and accept that for some women it will be hard and can hurt etc. I always get shouted down about that though. People think if women are told it might hurt it will put them off. I think if they are told it might hurt then they won't get such a shock if it does, think they're doing it all wrong and give up.

Thanks pigletmania Supply and demand so the body produces milk makes sense. ImSo.. I agree about things have to reflect real life... and doing the best you can as you can.

Thanks!

No I wasn't warned about hypernatraemic dehydration and I don't expect that women should be actually. And it occurs in ff children too when feeds are made up incorrectly. Do you mean everybody should be warned? You'd be there all day if you started warning about every single possible problem that could arise in a newborn baby. If a woman is adequately supported to understand bfing, if her latch is checked by a trained bfing counsellor in hospital (there was supposed to be one in our hospital, she was 'busy') and again and again by people who knew what they were doing, if people knew what to look out for in a baby that is hydrated and transferring milk and in a baby that is starting to dehydrate (and told how to tackle this, where to go for help), then that would be the positive way of supporting bfing. 'Here's how to check your baby is hydrated/transferring milk' instead of 'here's a potentially life threatening and frightening state that your baby could get into if you get this wrong'. Way to get even more women reaching for a bottle.

I also find it very interesting that ffers consistently report that they were villified by strangers, hcps, family etc. Firstly, ffing is the norm in this country so you would expect far more people to be comfortable with it than with bfing. Secondly, because you are sensitive to it, you remember the criticisms, or you perceive looks a certain way (haven't we just had a thread about a woman shouting defensively when a woman was just admiring a cute newborn, not looking at a bottle at all?). You know hundreds of people personally, you encounter thousands weekly, it's the one ignorant scrote that criticises that you remember not the thousands that didn't. I bfed exclusively for 7 months, I was in a tiny, tiny minority. I was asked to leave a cafe as bfing is offensive, I was criticised by hcps, I was roundly derided by a couple of family members. But because I'm comfortable with my decision, I accept that it's just one of those things. Feeding a child is very emotive and that's why it hurts to feel criticised but you mustn't make the mistake of believing that your method of feeding is the only one that meets with ignorance and criticism or that it somehow means that all promotion of the other method is also a criticism.

It's too late when they only start 'promoting breastfeeding' to pregnant women.

I was rather surprised to see in another thread many people saying 'Why would a 5-year-old know what breastfeeding is?' - um, because every time an advert comes on tv with a baby doll with a bottle, a toddler's mum says 'You didn't need a bottle, I fed you myself' ? Am I really the only person who's been saying this to my children ad infinitum? When I had DD5, my 8-year-old twins weren't surprised to see me feeding her, they'd always known how a mammal feeds her young. It needs to be something basic, not something that only occurs to a young woman after she gets pregnant!

My midwife insisted on me taking the breastfeeding dvd even though I told her I'd already fed 4. Judging by the tripe I've heard our local HVs trotting out to first-time mums, the dvd probably isn't doing much good but if their mothers, aunts and older sisters were all doing it they wouldn't listen to the crap.

I think that "star" mum poster thing is outrageous - far too oneupmanshippish. It isn't a fecking competition - it's about trying to do the best for your baby. And if you can't bf, for whatever reason, then ff is doing the best for your baby (else it would starve).

There really needs to be more training for all HCPs dealing with this sensitive issue - learning to give information without being all schoolmarmy lectureish about it; refraining from jumping straight to ff when a woman is having difficulties; training more lactation experts who can help women having difficulties - those sort of things.

I don't agree that most adults are able to seek information though - I know lots of adults who are still under the "spell" of the HCPs, i.e. believe implicitly whatever they are told - in fact I know quite a few who believe whatever they read in the DM as well.

Taking polls among your own friends is never a good indication of what is really happening - people tend to group with people of similar attitudes and natures, so assuming that is the same as the general population is a bit naive.

ISNT, your analogy doesn't work for me, sorry. breastfeeding is attainable and a reasonable expectation with good support. If that support is not forthcoming, we as women are foolish to blame ourselves for it not working out. Men, for example, don't saddle themselves with guilt and blame like that. We should actually be expecting the NHS to provide a better service for something they are promoting. We should be getting angry with our HCPs and expecting a better return for out money, not attacking other women who are actually making a difference on the ground.

The Be a Star Campaign is one of a few initiatives which is actually putting it's money where its mouth is and providing young mothers with effective support instead of lipservice unlike a lot of what the NHS posters do.

New mothers cannot know the Be A Star initiative exists if they do not actually publicise it. Because a few people will make themselves feel inferior doesn't mean that everyone should be denied the opportunity to successfully breastfeed.

Be a Star Website

The Be A Star campaign started out as an idea to change the image of the type of women who breastfeeds. You know the image we mean: hairy legs, Guatemalan fabrics.

If they saw their own peers breastfeeding, and the women on the posters are normal mums who had a makeover for the campaign, they were more likely to think, yes, I could do that too. and I don't have to have hairy legs or wear Guatemalan fabrics.

You only have to look at their website and read some of the entries. These were young mums who have breastfed successfully with the help of the Little Angels breastfeeding charity and are giving back some of what they received. Some have gone on to be peer supporters themselves with the charity.

I wish I could roll up and ram a "breastfeeding is normal" poster down the throat of the idiots who tut and mutter "disgusting" when they see awoman bfip. Or down the throat of the paediatrician who thinks it's inappropriate to bf a 10mo in a hospital waiting room and isn't afraid of saying so. Or a big one down Dr Hillary Jones' throat, or Lorraine Kelly for that matter.
I agree what mothers need is support and encouragement.

"A few people who make themselves feel inferior".

It is not just a few women who feel guilty if they are unable to BF, judging by the boards on here.

And as for "make themselves feel inferior" - so if they feel like that it is all their fault. So not only do they feel guilty for not BF, they also have to acknowledge that it is their own stupid fault they feel like that, a double whammy.

Way to engage and encourage people

This idea that people have to react how they are expected to, and if they react in any other way they are wrong or stupid is ridiculous. If lots of women are saying that the BF campaigns make them feel inadequate and guilty, then the BF campaign is not hitting the spot.

It's like having an advert for some bog roll, then when no-one buys it, rather than thinking about changing the advert, saying that everyone wathcing it is too stupid to get the advert and carrying on running it anyway.

I agree chibi. I was pretty much the only one of my friends locally bf after 4 weeks.

The reasons the others stopped were various, from not really wanting to and just doing a few feeds in hospital but intending to ff as soon as they got home to not enough milk/too sore/not enough sleep.

I was told I was lucky. The message was definitely that it was hard and you should expect to "fail". The bf support that they got (those that sought it out) was shit though.

I think the "breast is best" message got through in that I only know one person who didn't bf at all due to personal preference, but afterwards it needed to come naturally and be straightforward because if you were struggling you really needed to hunt out support. I got the impression that for most of my friends it just wasn't worth it because ff was good enough as far as they were concerned.

The decision to switch to ff was not full of angst in the majority of circumstances (my friends. It was seen as inevitable, sensible and preferable. It was also normal and bf was abnormal (amongst my group of friends and their families).

Poo its all very well to say that if you have not encountred problems or are clued up such as you, as a first time mum everything is new you are overwhelmed, tired may have pnd, and no you may not have done research, like me thought that bf would be a doddle and as easy as breathing; now in hignsight if we are fortunate to have a dc 2 than i will contact the NCT and look for bf consellers myself in my area and seek out support.