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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

breast is best

643 replies

Haitch27 · 14/02/2010 00:56

Is anyone else who is pregnant sick to the back bloody teeth of the 'breast is best' campaign being shoved down your throat everywhere you turn and being badgered by health carers to attend breastfeeding 'workshops'?? Maybe its just where I live but it seems to be everywhere yet the one thing no one says is "are you planning to breastfeed"? Assumption that all Mums will!!
Curious to know as I said if it is just my area or is it everywhere?

OP posts:
standandeliver · 18/02/2010 18:12

"I found it very sad when my big (10lb) newborn was still rooting and crying after his first bfeed, and when the nurses told me his blood sugar was too low."

Did they test his blood sugar? Did he show any actual symptoms of low blood sugar? TBH this is a contentious issue - it's believed many babies are unnecessarily being supplemented with formula in situations like yours. Some babies will benefit from supplementing, but many would be fine without.

"When I accepted a formula top-up rather than a glucose drip (I would rather not pierce his skin in a hospital which may have MRSA, thanks) I had already 'failed' according to stats",

Sorry - what 'stats'? And how 'failed'? You are reading some sort of judgmentalism into the figures on exclusive breastfeeding which are simply not there. Why would that be?

At present UNICEF make the case that about 10% of babies born in UK hospitals might benefit from some sort of additional supplement to breastfeeding at birth. This is no surprise to those who know anything about how birthing practices in this country impact on the first few days of breastfeeding. But it might be supplementing with expressed milk or colostrum and not just formula. At present about 50% of the breastfed babies born at my local hospital are supplemented with formula before discharge, most within 12 hours of birth. I don't know what the rates are at the hospital where you had your baby. Hopefully less!

I also gave birth to a very large baby - 10lbs 12oz. I also had diabetes in pregnancy. My midwives closely monitored ds's behaviour and appearance in the first few hours after birth. They also helped me to get him attached as soon as possible after birth and to breastfeed constantly for the first few hours. I also had an unmedicated birth and he was very alert for the first few hours and fed well. I appreciate this probably isn't the case for many babies of this size born in hospital.

"despite months of subsequent bfeeding. And some posters on here - when I shared story - were of the opinion that I shouldn't have given him anything and to ignore the medics".

You can only do what you feel to be right at the time, and most people sensibly listen to medical advice. Sad though that when it comes to the need for early supplementation mothers are so often betrayed by health professionals who lack training and expertise in supporting exclusive breastfeeding.

"I know a mother is designed to provide for her baby but sometimes Nature needs a little helping hand."

I agree. But not a bloody great cudgel, which is what (in metaphorical terms) is what breastfeeding mothers so often get in hospital.

LadyThompson · 18/02/2010 20:15

Just a plea to any of the bf experts on this thread - zealots or otherwise! - and this is off topic, but a friend of mine is asking for bf help in the Breast and Bottle Feeding section (the thread is called something like 'worrying about ttc DC3 due to bf worries' - she is a really lovely young Mum and wants to bf but hasn't really managed the last couple of times. It is important to her and therefore if anyone has any good advice for her I would be v grateful.

Babieseverywhere · 18/02/2010 20:54

LadyThompson's friend's thread

SpeedyGonzalez · 18/02/2010 21:12

Kleenex, you poor thing. Bfing woes are awful, and it's complicated by the emotional element - guilt, etc.

Have you sought the support of a 'proper' bf counsellor yet (I mean as opposed to an HV or MW)? It made the difference between me giving up (in screaming, tearful agony - quite the opposite of when I gave birth) and continuing for 14 more months. Please make sure you find someone good to help you, it can change the whole experience of bfing.

I found someone through the NCT (she was wonderful). I know that many people also go to La Leche League. You might have to be prepared for someone to be a bit on the pushy side, which is totally unnecessary and inappropriate. However, if you can either put up with this/ lay down the boundaries at the start, you'll find that once you push past the crap their knowledge is second to none. Having said that, as you've already said you are committed to the idea of bfing so there's even less need for anyone to be pushy with you.

Wishing you all the best!

PassMeTheKleenex · 18/02/2010 21:45

Babiesverywhere - I was using BF counsellor as a kind of catch all term - really, I think that any maternity HCP should have the training to deal with BF concerns, we shouldn't have to rely on volunteers. I meant I'd rather have someone devote an hour to my individual BF issues, not go through some random, generic questionnaire like the HV did. The MW that came to visit me seemed only to have really basic ''text book'' answers eg when I said that DS seemed to want to feed ALL THE TIME, she just said 'oh, he should spend 20 mins on one breast, that should be enough.' Er...OK...except that's not what is happening, so what do I do?! It just left me feeling she didn't feel that confident herself in what she was saying.

Speedy - I have a lactation consultant (there's a job title that needs some rebranding!) coming on Saturday. In the last couple of days, I have wondered whether that is going a bit OTT - but it was actually DH that suggested I just get someone/anyone! to come and see me, to know that I have done everything I can to crack this. I hope to be posting something v +ve on my thread on Sat pm! Thanks for your good wishes.

SpeedyGonzalez · 18/02/2010 22:02

Well done you and your DH. I think that's a brilliant idea (yeah, crap job title!). Really hope it goes well for you, I send huge amounts of sympathy for all your pain. Fingers crossed!

Heated · 18/02/2010 22:26

The campaign gets my back up too and have thrown all the bf leaflets away. If I was going to be visited by a proper bfc in hospital and at home, just as I will be by the mw, then I would give the campaign more respect. Talk lecturing is cheap.

I have an underactive thyroid and only after having 2dcs and failing to produce colostrum or milk for the first 10 days, and then only very little, did I find out on here that thyroid problems can affect supply - not always, but my experience would indicate it was a problem for me. Would have eased the guilt and pnd with dc1 considerably if I had known that could be an issue (was scrawled over my medical notes) and I do in part blame the less-than-subtle breast is best campaign. I have no issue at all with the message but being told "bf hurts" does not to my mind qualify as support! And practical support is what women need.

Am pg with no 3 and so far it's been down to me to tell the mw about drugs that could boost supply and look up the local LaLeche league; all mw is concerned about is ticking the boxes that say she's talked to me about bf. Haven't even broached the idea of bf baby no 3 with dh, he is so anti given my experience.

ItsGrimUpNorth · 18/02/2010 22:30

Heated, agreed.

Breast is best no doubt about that but it's a campaign directed at those who find bfing not a problem.

I don't think those entrenched in 'formula culture' will ever consider bfing and there certainly isn't the support for those who have difficulties with bfing.

HGS1 · 23/02/2010 18:21

I breastfed my first baby for 3 weeks - it was awful and made me anxious and very worried. I am one of four children and my mum, couldn't breastfeed, due to medical reasons, and we are all healthy and very normal. Therefore, at the 3 week point it took my mum to give me some sensible advice and support and I went for the bottle - I felt so guilty but it ended up being the correct thing - my daughter became a happy baby overnight and I became a happy mummy. Health visitors were horrid regarding this decision - and were completely unreasonable - I lost all respect for my HV. I am expecting number 2 in a few weeks and will trying to breast feed - but will not put myself under the same pressure. Breast might be best - but it's got to be best for everyone - you can't have a stressed out mum because that just causes more problems. I dislike the 'militant' approach to breast feeding and dislike even more breast feeding clubs etc - this just seems a little like discrimination to me.

mrspoppins · 24/02/2010 07:09

Wishing you all the best in a few weeks time. I hope it goes as much to plan as these things ever do!

Agree wholeheartedly!

rainbowinthesky · 24/02/2010 07:31

Why on earth would any object to breastfeeding clubs??

LittleMrsHappy · 24/02/2010 08:34

"despite months of subsequent bfeeding. And some posters on here - when I shared story - were of the opinion that I shouldn't have given him anything and to ignore the medics".

Ah sweetie I am sorry you had this. Ive also had this from some idiot posters, and now I simply ignore, they will never get it around their little tiny heads that I could not BF my son due to his allergies (he was BF, but MY BM was making him severely poorly where he ended up being in hospital with sever intestine bleeding, due to MY BM.

Best thing I have found now is to do, is give your opinion and your experience of YOUR situation, and if they want to make some silly comments about the medical people getting it wrong (which they very well might have) is not helping your satiation AT the moment in time where you needed that advice!

If they cannot see that FACT! then quite truthfully they are a idiot.

I also detest the breast is best campaign, as its not best in some cases, breast is natural is more like it! (in my situation) anyway.

HGS1 · 24/02/2010 21:08

Do bottle feeding clubs exist? I think we need to be inclusive when it comes to being new mums - we need to support everyone and allow us all to share etc... breast feeding clubs give the impression of being a little exclusive - and perhaps only add to the misery of some new mothers who cannot or are not breast feeding. We are all in it together......

iamanewmum31 · 24/02/2010 21:34

How many 'posters' here work for formula milk companies I wonder? In reply to the orginal thread. Ignore everything you have read. When your baby is born have him/ her placed on your chest to feed. It will be one of your best memories. Relax whatever happens you will be a good mum xxx

Sassybeast · 24/02/2010 21:40

Have you ever BEEN to a breastfeeding club/cafe/support group HGS1 ? What do you suppose happens at such a group ? I am tickled pink at the notion of BF support groups being discriminatory!

SpeedyGonzalez · 27/02/2010 12:14

HGS1, as someone who nearly gave up on bfing after a week, can I encourage you to look now for an excellent bfing counsellor?

I'm really impressed that despite your first experience you're still planning to try it again, and what made the difference for me was having someone supportive and knowledgeable. I would never consult a mw or hv about bfing, they simply don't know enough about it IME (and in the experience of all but one of my friends).

I mentioned earlier that the NCT and La Leche League have very knowledgeable people - if I were you I'd ask friends/ any other bfing mums who helped them and how they felt about those people. Then get their contact details and give them a call before you have the baby, so that you're well-prepared.

The wonderful lady who helped me is so committed to helping mums that she travelled out of her designated area to come to our homes and help us. You'll find that there are many such people who can provide you with excellent support.

In the meantime, good luck with baby no 2 and with balancing your new family life!

coffeeaddict · 27/02/2010 12:34

Didn't realise thread was still active!

Yes, standanddeliver, my baby was tested for low blood sugar with a blood test, they didn't just surmise.

And the 'stats' I was referring to were the earlier ones quoted on this thread in which 'exclusive' bfeeding (as recommended) means not one drop of formula, ever. If you are told 'WHO recommends all babies should be exclusively breastfed for at least six months' or whatever it is and you have already supplemented on day one, believe me, you feel like you have failed.

PS expressed milk/colostrum would not have been an option. I wish! I have sat for hours, with all three DCs, trying to express/boost supply. With the proper industrial machines. I have never got more than a dribble. Even drinking fennel nonstop and all the rest of it.

trfc09 · 13/09/2012 10:38

Bottle feeding is best, as shown in many hundreds of studies worldwide. BIB just want more funding for their secret police campaigners! Sorry, i mean there advisers! Bottle feed everytime, everytime, everytime.

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