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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

breast is best

643 replies

Haitch27 · 14/02/2010 00:56

Is anyone else who is pregnant sick to the back bloody teeth of the 'breast is best' campaign being shoved down your throat everywhere you turn and being badgered by health carers to attend breastfeeding 'workshops'?? Maybe its just where I live but it seems to be everywhere yet the one thing no one says is "are you planning to breastfeed"? Assumption that all Mums will!!
Curious to know as I said if it is just my area or is it everywhere?

OP posts:
pigletmania · 16/02/2010 09:50

Yes MIlly i know some of the comments here are quite harsh, unhelpful, unconstructive, and do nothing to promote bf, and everything to make women who found bf difficult and who had problems and had to stop through no want of their, own guilty and bad, and like they did not try hard enough or are lazy and do not care about their dc which is wrong. If someobody is reading them and in a vulnerable position it may be the straw that breaks the camels back.

ImSoNotTelling · 16/02/2010 09:50

"re recent comments - agree that many mothers need to be educated about not supplementing bm with anything as this is detrimental to continuing feeding but the cynic in me wonders whether its an excuse to stop (sorry)"

I don't think so - as for example the figure for excusive BF at 5 months is 3%. Yet the figure for people mixed feeding at 6 months is 26%.

That actually seems to show that rather than hardly anyone BF, actually a lot of women are BF, and continuing to BF, but they are also giving formula. How often they are giving formula I don't know - if it's a case of if you have ever given anything other than BM then you don't count then it's not surprising the stats are so low.

For eg most women return to work before 12 months. It is fairly common to get a baby used to water in a tommee tippee so they can have a drink in the day - but BF in the morning / at night etc. I would say those women were BF. It looks like the stats would say they weren't.

There is no point looking at strict exclusive BF stats when that is not how most women feed in this country. I mean I think most people will have let their baby have a go with water in a cup by 12 months...

pigletmania · 16/02/2010 09:53

I know Ruby thats why i will be taking matters into my own hands and doing my own research for next time if it happens hopefully. I am reading the politics of breastfeeding which is very interesting, i did not think once would i read a book like that, but ever since having my dd and having to give up bf i have become quite interested in how women feed, and also my background in healthy psychology and what we can do to promote bf in a more positive way.

happynappies · 16/02/2010 09:54

I haven't read the whole thread, but I do agree that posters promoting bf are so patronising and tokenistic. It ticks a box for the health professionals and their organisation, but doesn't translate to real support. I'm bf my son. He's 11 months old now, and last week he was admitted to the children's ward with a chest infection. Standing in front of a 'we support breastfeeding' poster the nurse asked me whether my son would need formula or cow's milk... later another nurse asked me how much he'd had in his morning feed, despite it being in his notes that he's bf. Ok, easy mistakes to make, and better making the assumption that way around than the other I suppose, but what really annoyed me was that I'm 10 weeks pg, bf a poorly child, and wasn't allowed any food on the ward. We were admitted at 5pm, and I hadn't eaten since lunch-time, and by the time the paperwork was completed the cafeteria was closed, all I could get my hands on was a Twix from a vending machine. Until the next morning. Really annoyed that I wasn't more 'supported' at such a trying time. Lots of focus on support for Mums who've made informed decisions not to bf, but what about practical help to enable those who choose to to actually do it? Sorry rant over!

pigletmania · 16/02/2010 10:00

Thats why i feel that the 'every breastfeed counts' message instead of 'breast is best' is the way to go in promoting bf and to put it in a more positive light. Whereas with the breast is best its kind of all or nothing, if you dont bf your child for any reason you are shortchanging them and are not doing the best for them which is not encouraging or helpful imo

pigletmania · 16/02/2010 10:04

its not about breastfeeders making ff feel bad, its comments such as some that i have read on here that make people feel bad.

sungirltan · 16/02/2010 10:06

ISNT - i stand corrected!

ImSoNotTelling · 16/02/2010 10:07

Yes piglet totally agree. Also that seems a more encouraging way - one feed at a time is easier to deal with for someone not getting on with it that an idea that it has to be 6 months or whatever.

I am looking for the questions used to get those exclusive BF stats. As if they are very "strict" I would argue that the other ones should be used for a realistic picture of the situation.

RubyBuckleberry · 16/02/2010 10:10

happynappies that is a shocker, as is women who want to breastfeed but can't because they have to go back to work. There is, IMO, a massive difference between women who cannot breastfeed for whatever reason, even if that reason could be avoided with better understanding and support from people around them, including their own mothers in some cases , and the woman who chooses not to breastfeed, who I believe is doing a disservice to her baby and society, not to mention filling the pockets of various multinational corperations.

pigletmania · 16/02/2010 10:13

exactly ISNT, I think that once mums decide that they want to bf for a week or two just so that their baby gets the colostrum, than they find they like it and aere enjoying it so much they wish to continue. Or the other way, if they are having problems or are feeling down about it all the every breast feed counts is more encouraging so that they can get past a week, than two than things might get easier, and if they dont and they feel that they had to use formula that they are happy in the knowledge that they made some difference to their babies health.

LadyThompson · 16/02/2010 10:17

I am doing a disservice to society by not bf? Would you like to tell me precisely how?

What an utterly ridiculous remark.

I am happy if people want to breastfeed their children. Many of my friends do. I feel strongly that people should make their own choices and that they should have the necessary support to do so. This catcalling just brings great shame on those who are indulging in it and does nothing to promote bf - in fact, I would go so far as to say it has the opposite effect.

ImSoNotTelling · 16/02/2010 10:21

A woman who chooses not to BF is doing the right thing as she understands it given her social setting, the right thing for her family, the right thing for her situation. She is not doing it to deliberately deprive her baby, ruin society and give her hard earned money to nestle.

Comments like that only serve to alienate people - which is why the strident pro-BF lobby has such a bad name. Comments like that are not helpful at best, and counterproductive at worst.

For people who are so vocal about caring about little babies, they don't seem to give much of a stuff about adults. BF = evil cow is so ridiculously simpistic. And won't do anything to actually improve matters.

gobsmackedetal · 16/02/2010 10:22

nothing like the word "breast" to keep a thread going forever

ImSoNotTelling · 16/02/2010 10:23

LadyT do many of your friends BF? Are you sure? You might see them with a baby suckling at their breast at al hours, but if they went out to a wedding 6 months ago and baby had a bottle of formua, then chances are that they are not really BF, after all

piglet yes I think that is problem solved

Allidon · 16/02/2010 10:26

Well said ISNT.

Women who choose not to breast feed are a minority, and I think in the vast majority of cases the NHS doesn't have the money or resources (or the time, if the woman is already pregnant) to change their minds. Women who want to breast feed, but are unable through lack of support seem to be the majority, or at least a more significant minority. Isn't a better use of NHS resources to help these women successfully breast feed, rather than going all guns blazing at those who don't want to?

RubyBuckleberry · 16/02/2010 10:26

I've already said, by costing the NHS millions in lost health benefits. The fact that expressing an unpopular opinion about those who FF by choice (not circumstance/medical reason etc) does nothing to promote breastfeeding says more about those that choose to FF than the opinion itself.

How far are we going to take this idea of 'choice' and at what cost? Just because a woman has a right to CHOOSE to eat burgers and fries all day does not take away from the fact that it costs this country millions in diabetes, obesity and various other PREVENTABLE illnesses.

pigletmania · 16/02/2010 10:27

At the end of the day not everyone will want to bf but its their choice and are doing what they see fit and should not be critisised for it, but for those who want to more NHS support is needed, its just not enough to say 'breast is best' what about the after care and if women are having problems than it is up to the NHS to help them imo thats what they are there for and what we pay our taxes for sorry but thats my opinion. Yes we should also do our research but for those who cannot afford a bf counseller or lactation consultant or private MW there should be readily available free support provided by the NHS

RubyBuckleberry · 16/02/2010 10:27

lol gobsmackedetal

ImSoNotTelling · 16/02/2010 10:27

Going out now have fun all.

SoH I can't find the questions asked to determine exclusive BF, if you are around and have a link/that info to hand i would be very grateful. Otherwise will keep googling later!

Allidon · 16/02/2010 10:30

But presumably the majority of the babies who are FF are not FF through the choice of their mother. So those mothers and babies are where the money and support should be going, which will in itself increase the amount of BF babies and lower the NHS costs in relation to them. Not only that, but an increased amount of women BF will normalise it and perhaps lessen the amount of women who don't want to. Once every single woman who wants to breast feed and is physically able to has the support she needs to do so, maybe then the focus can shift to those who don't want to.

RubyBuckleberry · 16/02/2010 10:31

good point, well made

RubyBuckleberry · 16/02/2010 10:32

i wonder what the figures actually are? sorry if they've already been cited on here.

...goes off to google...

LadyThompson · 16/02/2010 10:34

I am not the only one on here who thinks that you are actually giving bf a bad name, Ruby.

Costing the NHS millions in lost health benefits? And your figures for this are where? My daughter isn't obese or diabetic and neither am I (or my sister).

I think my children will benefit greatly from growing up without an insulting zealot for a mother, if it comes to it. (NB: to clarify and re-emphasize, I am keen for mothers to make their own informed choices and I am pro-bf if that is what people want to do. I didn't want to, and I think people who get outraged by this should get a little perspective.)

Allidon · 16/02/2010 10:41

LadyThompson, whilst I agree with your opinion on Ruby's post, FF babies are statistically less healthy than BF babies, so do cost the NHS more. As I already said though, I think the focus should be placed on those mothers who do want to BF rather than wasting resources trying to convince those who don't.

runnybottom · 16/02/2010 10:43

Think you're missing the point Lady, noone is outraged if you choose to FF. You still can't change facts to suit yourself.
The plural of anecdote is not data.