to think that you should NEVER comment on the weight of other people's babies?

[Moomma]

I was blamelessly attending Rhymetime at my local library today with my admittedly featherweight DS, who is just five months. The woman next to me admired him and asked how old he was. When I told her, she gasped and said, 'But he's tiny! Mine is six months and she's twice his size!'

She wasn't twice his size. She looked to be a few pounds heavier - maybe five. But I wouldn't have said, 'God, is she shaping up to be obese?'

DS is on the bottom of the growth charts and his weight has been a constant source of anxiety and worry for me since he was born (early). And I just wish everyone who has commented on it since he was born would form an orderly queue so I could tell them all to fuck off.

It just makes me want to stay at home and hide.

on the other hand my friend had 3 obese babies at 6 months, because she completely overfed them, and they are still obese children at 12, 10 1nd 8. I wish I had commented previously

Imisssleeping - I don't ask any of those other questions about babies/toddlers either. It's nosy rather than friendly - what does it matter to me whether someone else's toddler uses the loo yet or how long they've been walking?

Mind you, I suppose it's all about context, as always. But generally speaking it isn't difficult to show a little courtesy - expressing shock at the age of a baby and comparing their weight with that of your own offspring (as per OP) isn't friendly, it's crass.

I do agree with someone earlier (sorry!) though who said that this is the sort of thing people are always going to trot out. There are certain conventions that people rely on in these sorts of social situations - saves thinking up something original to say.

OP, my DD was tiny at 6 months. I am a tall person, so it was quite a shock to have such a tiny baby, and lots of people commented about it.

10 years on, she is quite petite (like both her Grandmothers) but very fit, strong and supple.

They are probably jealous that they have to heave a great lump around whilst you can still use a sling

Just wanted to say thank you to everyone who posted in this thread - for some reason it really helped to hear both for and against arguments, and I am really doing much better with not taking it to heart. We had the christening this weekend and it was brilliant - he looked adorable and everyone commented on how bright he was.

I probably phrased the original question badly. I don't think you should ever express alarmed surprise about ANYTHING to do with someone else's child (which was what happened in the original instance, not making conversation, btw as we had been chatting for some time before she made her remarks). But I need to be a bit more relaxed about that kind of thing too.

Thank you to everyone for sharing their stories. It all really helped me to realise that even if I had a lovely heavy boy I would probably find something else to worry about.

I think its a little different for people to say your baby is big rather than little tbh.

I have had both. Ds was very long when he was a baby but vvvvvvvv skinny and people always commented on that. Things like 'oh my god he looks like one of those Romanian orphans' or 'he is soooooo skinny' and that really really upset me. That was more to do iwith the fact they were saying he was skinny though that small iyswim? Also I was exclusively breastfeeding and felt it meant I was a failure.

Ds is now 3 and head and shoulders above the boys in his class and is very 'sturdy' and people always comment on that. It doesnt bother me though as its not a reflection of anything I have or havent done its just how he is.

Tbh though I sometimes wish for his sake he wasnt so big as people expect much, much, more from him because he looks a lot older. People can be quite cruel to him actually and that hurts.