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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be totally unreasonablly angry/frustrated at people who say "But I have no choice" or "I have no other option"

158 replies

SnapDragons · 05/02/2010 22:12

There is always another choice

You may not like any of the other options/choices but that doesn't mean they do not exist

Your 'non-choices' may be so far outside your experience you cannot deal with them - but that doesn't make them any less a valid choice

OP posts:
sarah293 · 06/02/2010 16:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

AntirrhinumMajus · 06/02/2010 19:44

Sorry Heqet for your predicament.......does my name look better?

It's kinda the same

OrmRenewed · 06/02/2010 19:51

If you are stuck between a hungry lion and a deep ravine you have 3 choices. Stand still (and get eaten), jump over the cliff and die or run away (and probably get eaten). Neither of which are good choices. There are many circumstances in which there are restricted choices. Sometimes life just happens to you. We aren't super-humans who can 'fix' everything.

YABU (and a little uncharitable)

nooka · 06/02/2010 20:16

AM, very horticultural . I don't expect there will be any name mix ups with that one (unless we get an influx of botanists!)

psychomum5 · 06/02/2010 20:36

HeQet, did you cause untold tramu????

and did you cause untold trauma to your nether regions with the rosie thorns???

lozster · 07/02/2010 12:28

I think the life skill is to recognise when you have a choice and identify what options are available. Maybe the OP was thinking of people who claim 'no choice' as it's easier than taking responsibility for your own life?

onagar · 07/02/2010 12:36

I suppose it is pedantic to complain when people are saying "I have no choice" and just meaning "I have no reasonable choice"

However lots of people say "I have no choice" when there are reasonable choices, but they haven't thought it through or they all involve some effort.

giraffeshavelongnecks · 07/02/2010 13:35

onagar I agree with you.

I have a friend who works from home on a self employed basis, no dependents, no DP/DH, and doesn't live within walking distance of a town centre (although there is public transport).

She earns £15 per week to live on, and is not entitled to any benefits, because she doesn't put enough hrs in.

I have suggested finding work with an employer which will pay her more in a day than she is earning in a week.
I have suggested going onto JSA while she looks for other work.

She moans and moans about her situation, but when I suggest these choices she could make, she says public transport isn't reliable enough, she doesn't want to go to work because workplaces are full of bullies , and she can't go onto JSA without being fired from her work from home job, and even then, she will have to take the company she is working for to a tribunal .
I have even suggested working a few more hours, but she says this is impossible because her FB might want to see her and he wont take no for an answer, even though she is apparently trying to finish with him.

When FB turns up, she has to answer the door, because if she doesn't and neighbours call police because of the disturbance, the police will tell friend that he has every right to be there, in her home, even though he lives somewhere else with his DW and DC.

I have tried so hard to help her because she moans incessantly about her lot in life, but her favourite phrase is I don't have any choice!

In her case, it annoys me alot. She clearly has choices, but refuses to make those choices, and prefers to moan.

I avoid her like the plague now.

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