To be totally unreasonablly angry/frustrated at people who say "But I have no choice" or "I have no other option"

[SnapDragons]

There is always another choice

You may not like any of the other options/choices but that doesn't mean they do not exist

Your 'non-choices' may be so far outside your experience you cannot deal with them - but that doesn't make them any less a valid choice

"isn't it odd when you are seen differently with a different name"

that would indicate that you have been here a while. i would then suggest that you must have known that your name is very similar to Soupy's. i don't see why she needs to CAt you in order for you to change it. surely its just polite not to use something that is so easily confused.

So a specialised whore house it is then!

Can I have a job?
I'm pg, throw up constantly and also have hairy leggs.

so people who say "I had no choice" are lying.

But what if the other "choice" they could have made would left them dead/homeless/ill/whatever?

Is that really a choice???

SoupDragon maybe I meant that(have you seen how hot the lead singer is)

ToccataAndFudge thank you the voice of reason

you see sometimes the other option - is simply a non-option and would make absolutely no logical sense to follow. I suppose you could say they still had the "choice" to take that option..........but if it's only going to make things worse its not a choice is it?

I have no choice but to move out.

Well I suppose I do have the choice........but the other option is H being homeless immediately, and me and the DS's being homeless probably within a year as I couldn't pay the mortgage.

mamazon - tbh I have been here a good while (5yrs plus?) but have a little stalked by RL

I was so fixated on creating a new name that was dissimilar to me but relevant, I never even considered Soupy which is why I am so horrified that it is similar

I have only had it a week or so, so I have already started creating a new one but will wait until the thread ends (unless a brain wave occurs)

I try 2shoes, I try doesn't happen very often that I'm the voice of reason

trouble is, you know we are wondering who you are now....

Cat'ed you 2shoes

A very very sweeping comment OP

oh that will take yonks at the wekendemail me [email protected]

Did

Of course it empowers you to believe there is always a choice and there is almost always a chioce about about how you react to events.

However when my sister died her children had no choice but to lose their mother. Thy would have preferred to have kept her as would my BIL. Obviously my BIL had choices about how he behaved after my sister's death (my niece and nephew less so as they were samll children) but he had no choice whatsever about the fact of it.

We usually always have a choice about what we do but not usually what happens to us.

Often when people say they have no chocie they are usually railing against the unwanted event itself. Sometimes a bit of railing is what is called for and I think the OP is being a bit harsh to be so irritated by it.

am still very by the op......I am going with YBU as my original thought tho.

am glad you are changing name. you didn;t sound like soupy, but you were/are too similar name wise for it to be fair to her...whatever your reasons for needing to change.

sorry soupy, did not in any way mean to cause offence, as I didn;t think it was you in the first place, just wanted to make it obvious that she was too similar namewise

I can see why in some circumstances it can be really annoying to hear someone moan about something that you feel is easy to fix. But the trouble is that it also comes across that you think that everyone who feels that they have no choice are in fact just not thinking/trying hard enough. Which is rather similar to telling someone with depression to pull themselves together. In effect you are saying that they are choosing whatever crap has come their way, which if you are reeling from the crap woudl seem somewhat uncaring.

And sometimes the "choice" is totally undo-able anyway. My sister chose to have children, I guess she ran the risk (as we all do) that something might go wrong, but she certainly didn't choose to have two profoundly disabled children, or the impact that would have on her life. I'd rather think how can I help than try and judge whatever decisions she takes.

OP - I have a mate who constantly moans that her poor DH has no choice but to try to find a new (better paid) job, and she never sees him as it is as he works such long hours, because they just can't afford to live and everything is so expensive blah blah and on and on.

Meanwhile, they ski every year and own two cars and eat expensive meat every day, and she doesn't work. Which is fine ( I don't work, and we have two cars too), but it gets on my goat that she thinks she has no choice.

They could: sell a car, go camping rather than ski, ski only every second year, eat less meat, she could work part time etc etc.

Am I getting your gist OP?

Yes. That is exactly what the op meant.

hmm let me see ,ds did not choose to be disabled

Amwondering ifop isgetting at the benefits where some of us tried point out we don`t have a choice.

i guessi couldwork and choose to ptds incare where someone else gets paid a realwage forlooking after him,looking note not loving him like i do.

I couldhave choosen to stay in a violent situationand let that damamge my children .

I could choose not to wipe de arse andlt him sit in shit,

Op some choices are not even options that people quite rightly will not consider

We all make choices, but back to what someone posted last night.
Sometimes the choices are unbearable, and that's where the OP fell into difficulties because she wasn't originally thinking of desperate ones, just annoying friends making a big deal out of nothing. Not seeing the bigger picture. Remember the film, Sophie's Choice?
She had to choose which of her two children went to the gas chambers in Auschwitz, and which one she kept in the camp.
Heavy stuff for a Friday night. You could have whinged about your mates not living in the real world with real tough choices, and we'd have all piled in on your side!

yanbu, there is usually a choice about what to do. People too often justify selfish choices by pretending that the alternative is impossible.

Or they trot out that old chestnut, "it was my children or xxxxx", ie that excuses everything.

Silly, not an issue.

Gosh, people don't have unlimited choices.

I have no choice about where I live, for example, within a very small radius. I didn't even choose our apartment (didn't even see it before DP moved in with all our stuff - I sent my belongings with a removal van to an unknown destination!).