to think that breastfeeding a 25 year old, even as a one off, is more than a little strange?

[Ewe]

Article here about when breastfeeding should stop and the author quoted two examples of 25 year old women bfing as a one off after a bereavement.

'two 25-year-old women who had suffered bereavement and went to their respective mothers for ?one-off comfort?.
"It probably started with a cuddle and led from there," she tells me'

Now I am very pro breastfeeding but I found this very strange/unusual. I just can't imagine a situation where I, as a woman in my 20s, would breastfeed from my mother but then part of me thinks if they've just suffered a big loss, who am I to think this way of coping is wrong?

So, less of an AIBU but more of a what do you all think?

Can I ask all pro-breastfeeding mums, what age would you start to find it weird? Most on here seem to agree that a 25yo suckling is a bit odd, a 2yo is fine.. when do you think it becomes unacceptable? Honest question, not trying to start an argument I have never seen a child of walking/talking age breastfeeding so not sure of my own opinion on cut off age.

I think its a personal thing, whatever works for you. I BF my 1st for 1 year and my 2nd for 18 months, so might do 2 years with my 3rd who is currently 5 months. I don't know, I'll have to wait and see, but I suppose my personal shudder point is after about 2.5, but I only mean that for me doing it, not anyone else. I'd like to say I wouldn't at all be judgy about anyone feeding any age, but I prob would secretly be thinking its pretty odd if I saw any child of 5+ being BF. None of my business who does what though really.

ill stop breastfeeding at 2 years.
That's the limit for me.

Remember watching about a woman who still BF her 2 DD, one was 9 I think, the other was 6!
When the eldest DD was asked about the taste of her mum's BM, she exclaimed, " I love BM!! It tastes sweeet! It's better than...its better than mango, its better than a million mangos!!"

Or words to that effect!

AreAny, it's a good question. I'm wouldn't ever dictate when someone else should stop, OTOH I'm willing to go on record saying 25years is odd For me, I remember saying 3 when DS was 2, he's almost 3 and I can see it going on for a while yet! We'll see. I don't care if other people feed their children until they're 9 if they want to, although I can't imagine a child feeding past the age of about 6 or 7. But then I know very little about children of this age anyway.

"Perhaps, I suggest, her motivation was more selfish ? did she need to strengthen the bond with her child? "
What a cow - wanting a strong bond with her child, how dare she!!

illgetyou, that was the MNer GreenMonkies Don't think her DCs are quite that old, could be wrong

Ann has commented on that article (assuming it is her)
While there's much in this article I would commend, I must take issue with a few points. The two older women referred to are, as I made clear, hearsay, and therefore I have no idea of the circumstances.

A child's immune system on average matures around 6-7yrs, in some cases earlier and, as I speculate, possibly later. The spectrum for self-weaning is thus much larger than I am, erroneously, quoted as saying. Some children do lose the suckling reflex in those average years, but some lose it later.

Transgenic (with human gene) goats are being bred by the Russian govt in order to harvest lactoferrin, a component in human milk, not because of its nutritional value but because research has shown it to be an effective cancer therapy.

I did not say that all fathers are happy - misreport probably caused by a typo. There is variation in families, but I was heartened to hear about huge numbers of approving fathers.

Societal attitudes are in flux - ever an harbinger of change!

in answer to previous question

i think it's fine to carry on until either mum or child (or both) want to stop.

i had lunch with 2 lovely friends the other day, both of whom at some point nursed their children (one is 4 and one is 5). I didn't find it odd at all, both children had been upset by something, both requested to nurse and both mothers just did so naturally.

no-one around us gave it a second glance.
I think I had more people looking at me whilst I wrestled with ds3 who (at 7 months) is very distractible whilst feeding

I read a blog of a lady who lived in Nepal (?) Over there it's quite normal to EBF, and if there is a family bereavement, or time of huge upheaval, it's normal for older children to suckle (even into their 20's) for comfort.

I can't see myself doing that myself (either wanting to BF or offer it to my dc when older), but I can see for some it's just a natural progression from comforting your child.

The more I read about EBFing, the more I believe that it is completely normal and natural.
[tries to find link]

I am very pro-extended breastfeeding, but I would find 25 very odd indeed.

Can't believe no-one invoked Godwin's law on Curryfreak at the first mention of nazis...

IvaNighSpare

Noooooo! surely not?

please tell me thats not true

feel quite sick now

V V strange imndeed

Though curryfreak- ds4 is 22 months, severely intolerant of milk,won't take soya or any other alternative I an find- not too keen on alot of solids either tbh: breastfeeding him is anything but strange, it is a blessing that I am able. I stopped BF in public a good while ago becuaseI couldn't be bothered justifying myself and expect to finish in the next eyar or so,socannot see any harm at all.

DS is 21 months now and I will definitely continue feeding til he's at least two. As long as he doesn't self-wean before then.

After that, I don't know.

Thought I'd do a little experiment so I asked DS1 (22, so a little young)if he wanted a little suckle.
Currently chiselling his eyebrows off the kitchen ceiling

I really fail to understand how anyone could find a mother feeding an infant or small child nauseating,surely it is a lovely thing to see? I am feeding a two and three quarter year old and to me that is still a baby,why are we so keen socially to force children to be ever more grown up,why can't we let them express their natural baby needs? I am not sure when I will stop,I had three in my mind,but partly as my five year old is slightly jealous,can't imagine my dd wanting to stop soon though as tonight she said"I just love booa mama ,I can't resist it"booa is her word for breasts and breastmilk. Both my children were early talkers and so could ask for milk before 8m,so by many people's criteria I should have stopped then,and yet they were still really small babies,why would I stop then? I don't get it at all,this revulsion about breastfeeding a talking child. I trust that there aren't stacks of utterly selfish mothers out there,forcing poor reluctant toddlers to feed against their will to somehow fuel their mother's "needs".

Oh helly, 'I can't resist it', that's so sweet.

I think that it really is about our own babies isn't it? Before becoming a mother, I found screaming toddlers on a plane a nightmare, now I can only empathize and try to give dirty looks to those that give dirty looks to poor parents with unhappy little ones(hope you get this)
So, when it's your own child, she/he probably is still your little baby even when they're two or three of four. So for some women breastfeeding continues to be a loving action that's far more than feeding. Would I do it? I don't know as my baby wouldn't latch on so I only managed to express for a few months. Personally, after three I think it may be a bit unnecessary. After 5, well, that's almost forcing the child to be a baby. I imagine some communities with extended breastfeeding have food shortages and mother's milk is a necessary supplement, something that at least in UK today is not paramount.

Sorry of my "forcing tha child to be a baby" sounded harsh, I have great respect for extended breastfeeding mums. My mum chose to bottlefeed me (blame the 70s) but herself was breastfed till the grand age of three. I so hope I'll breastfeed my next baby, who knows, maybe we'll become one of those pairs that can't stop!

but it's only forcing them to be a baby over here because we see it as something that only a baby does.

breastmilk contains some wonderful stuff, and it still contains it no matter how old your child is. so a child of 4 or 5 or 6 is still benefitting from that in the same way they do as a newborn (am thinking antibodies etc)

and you can't force a child to breastfeed either. they have to want to do it, and if they want to do it then it can't be all about the mother can it?

good points thisisyesterday

the more I think about it, the more I get the feeling it's also about getting my body back in a way that, when breastfeeding, my breasts are my baby's so I won't drink, won't eat food that might upset his tummy etc. If the benefits are mainly emotional (solids provide pretty much all the infant/child needs), then why is a cuddle less effective that a breast?

When does it become weird for you? At 5, at 10, at 20?

Funny isn't it, it's very hard to voice an opinion without sounding critical, I only wanted to share my thoughts and not pass judgement. The tricky thing with discussions in text is that we can't involve body language and so it can all sound very stern.
But I promise you, on this subject stern I'm not!

To be frank, I cried for so long when my boy and I didn't manage to breastfeed, I longed to share that with him, I almost forgot how lucky I was just to have him...

haha, when I say I won't drink I meant alcohol ofcourse!

before i had children i thought breastfeeding was just plain weird. full stop.

i never thought i would breastfeed, always thought i'd give a bottle.
then when i fell pg it just seemed like the right thing to do.
didn't turn out so well with ds1, but if it had i guess i'd planned to feed for about a year

before having ds2 i learned a lot more about breastfeeding and the benefits it provides for babies and mothers, so decided to let ds2 self-wean, which he did while i was pg with ds3 (at 16 months)

soooo... onto ds3, still planning on letting him self-wean, but no idea how long he'll carry on for!

I think it can seem odd to think of other people feeding a 5 yr old for example. I can't imagine feeding MY five year old, that seems weird to me.
but it isn't like you just get up one morning and say hmmm, i'll just feed my really big child. it's a curve, day by day they're that little bit older and i suppose you don't notice it.
how can you say that one day they can have it and the next they're too old?

Nellykats what a kind and sweet post.Actually I found the whole avoiding foods etc only applied when they were really small,certainly after about 6-8m I stopped bothering or even thinking about what I was having other than prescription drugs.I still avoid having a lot of caffeine late in the day as she feeds around seven,but nothing apart from that.(mulls over a late night G+T...)! I just found that there hasn't been any obvious reason for me to stop,it is absolutely no hassle for me to feed her,and she really enjoys it,so it has just continued.Every night when I start to feed her she says "that's a pretty bra " and then when I pull the bra back (glam freya jobbie not 'orrible nursing bra)she says "and that's a pretty booa" its very very touching.