Hugh Fearnley blardy whitteringon with himself in the Guardian

[nigelslaterfan]

AIBU to be irritated by HFW in the Guardian mag taking 10 people on a freebie skiing holiday in a gorgeous Alp chalet somewhere and making a cake and a blardy fondue and presumably claiming the whole bloody lot.

I mean nice work but bugger off Hugh and your free holidays!!!! Can't he afford to just pay to take his family on holiday?

Bitter'n'twisted

I always think they should be the other way round. I mean Big Cook looks little. Little Cook I can imagine would be bigger ( pre shrinkage ).

No double entendres intended

At glittering party full of celebs and nobs and that. Probably at Claridge's or some such

get announced by Announcing Man:

"Baroness Spring Heeled Jack, who has done both Big Cook Ben and Little Cook Small"

LOL SpringHeeledJack

LOL at MrsMalcolmTucker

-is that in RL, or some twisted wishful thinking?

Holiday companies are forever giving away free holidays for a piece in the papers. yabu

But Nigella's house I think it's somewhere like Eton square is it? One of those humungous town houses. She was filmed in her own library for "Who do you think you are?" when she got all huffy because she didn't have the right kind of glamorous ancestors that she felt she must of course have had.
But the library! Swoon. Floor to ceiling book cases. Rooms about 15 meters high (exaggeration owing to Awe).

She is a shameless strumpet in that photo but is she not paying 'homage' to that painting by John Singer Sargeant Madam X? here
Although I don't think that justifies the harlotry of the woman.
Also she is tiny in real life, minuscule.

SawneyBeane
I, too, have an indefensible and private penchant for the newly honed and toned Jay Rayner!!!
You are not alone!
He is strangely hot, now, not then, but now.

Oh Jay! You have been working out!

definitive list:

jamie o - good guy

slater - wanker

nigella - wanker

fearnley -w - good guy

willie h-c - wanker

ramsay - wanker

delia - wanker (but only just because her recipes are good so redeemed)

LOL @ "Hugh Pubic-Twatface" Getorf

Also the Findhorn section of this thread, noble diversion, do people go to Findhorn in order to Find their Horn?

ugg HFW, so dirty and podgy and chubby and I bet he wanks off in every dish just to add his own touch of tarnished ego

carocaro !!!

!!!!

Nigella is tiny???????? How can Nigella be tiny??????
OMFG, if Nigella is tiny, then Camilla Dallerup is a Pippa doll.
I have a bit of a girl crush on Nigella, but I think it might be her Devon Stockholm pottery collection. It's certainly not her husband or her children. (sorry!!!)(I'm sure they're lovely, and looks aren't everything etc etc)

Little Cook is repulsive. Little Cook gives me the heebs. I could easier do Greg Wallace with his grapefruit shaped head and penchant for prozzies and big spoonfuls than I could do Little Cook. (I could, however, and rather bizarrely, do Rick Stein with his manbag and grump grump harumphyness)

Oh goody! This will be my second opportunity this week to post:

Matt Tebbutt, for example, is a twat.

That feels good.

DP secretly wants to be HFW, he wont admit but he does. living off the land and all that! he wants to be his land bitch

"he wants the land to be his bitch"

ROFL

I hope your dh aspires to a better haircut than HFW.

Also, if one were to have a three-way with Big Cook Ben and Little Cook Small it would certainly make watching the show with your kids more interesting. It would give you something to think about between all the repetitive singing and god awful recipes.

well Bucharest I have seen her in the flesh twice.
First time was when John Diamond was still alive, they were on holiday with aupair and two kids. I first saw Nigella in the deli at the airport with a TON of food, parmesan, just armfuls of exotic grub at the most massive price of course.
Then she and Diamond held hands a lot over the head rest, looked genuinely loving, and she read an Italian newspaper while the aupair entertained the kids, probably with crosswords in Latin maybe (just being mean there). I was jealous I must admit of her general glamour. And 18 tons of parmesan too, But she honestly looks about 4foot tall. Not that there's anything wrong with that of course.
Another time I saw her was at a work do and she was sipping wine and chatting in massive heels and she was still tiny. I mean how small is the woman?
But her library, swoon...... The thought of having such a library.
But her tv style is just ridiculous, all that finger licking chest heaving is preposterous isn't it? I mean she must be laughing at herself surely?

I am totally [shocked] at Nigella being a widge. Maybe we could all entertain ideas of her having a 3some with Big Cook and Little Cook? Hmmm, so all those cashmere cardis she wears (which look too small anyway) are obviously Cosima's and Mummy has been raiding the child's wardrobe?

Can we talk about Paul Thing and Allegra Thing too? Economy Gastronomy bods? I refuse to believe he is a chef because he just looks like a regular bloke, and she looks like someone shoved a bike pump up Billy Piper's arse and took the slap off.

all talk of sexual congress with the little and large cooks makes me want to heave for ever.

All children's tv presenters are just asexual to me and the thought of them being sexual makes me want to cry. That must be why they're chosen?
I hate their their homogenous zealotry and maniac eyes like they're all on some terrible drug of zanyness!
It really is too awful.
Someone should make it stop!

What, even Chris 'DoodleDoMe' Corcoran?

My only objection is that I didn't get a free holiday with lots of yummy food. I quite like HFW, he looks nice.

oh Hugh, you do think you're too sexy for your shirt don't you pubichead?

stayfrosty, I can believe that, so much of tv is smoke and mirrors, most of these cookery progs have an army of slaves making it all look great and probably being bullied too. It can be such a nasty world.
How can a smoker be a great cook? You can't taste much can you?

I always remember them showing you how they soaked a tampon in hot water and stood it behind the soup to make it look steaming.....

Ach, bet Hugh has chucked a few of them in the soup.

yeah and what about millionaire, eton educated Hugh Fearnley Whatsit's bully-boy campaign to make people living on the breadline spend a tenner on a free range chicken instead of £3 because of his own livvy-livered principles? absolutely agree that we should all eat free-range if possible, but who is he to basically say, if you can't afford free-range, don't eat chicken at all. twat

'she looks like someone shoved a bike pump up Billy Piper's arse and took the slap off. '

[spews coffee at screen!]

that is the funniest thing i've read on here in donks!