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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have a crush on my friends 16 year old neighbour!!!

97 replies

CradleSnatcher · 02/02/2010 08:42

He is just so lovely and makes my own DP seem like a useless sack of shite

He looks a lot older... does that make it better???

OP posts:
nickschick · 02/02/2010 08:47

No its wrong,I have a 16 year old ds and was a bit when my friend admitted to lusting after him .

I was at her house when she said quick come upstairs and watch this bloke run past he does everyday hes rather gorgeous .....so we stood and watched....

DS1 jogs past .....'hiya mum' he yelled up at me......

OMFG she exclaimed please tell me thats not xxxxx??? I had no idea hed grown up so much.

awkward.

pigletmania · 02/02/2010 08:50

YABU He is not an adult still a child fgs.If you are unhappy in your relationship you should do something about it and sort your life out instead of looking at kids. Sorry for being blunt but thats it, if it were a man it would be why a woman its different.

EleanoraBuntingCupcake · 02/02/2010 08:50

lol @ nickschick

Original poster
CradleSnatcher · 02/02/2010 08:56

I wouldn't act on it, but he is just so lovely.

And the age difference is only 4 months bigger than my parents. (except my dad is older)

If only I were 6 years younger

OP posts:
MaggieTaSeFuar · 02/02/2010 09:00

Yikes. Do you think about him? or do you just recognise that he will be handsome.

See, I can only say 'will be'. I can't really reconcile the notion of a 16 year old with the notion of attractive.

Original poster
CradleSnatcher · 02/02/2010 09:08

It's not so much how he looks, although I can see he is handsome and looks much older than his 16 years.

It's more to do with the fact he is such a lovely gentleman, when I first met him I thought he was at least 20.

OP posts:
nickschick · 02/02/2010 09:12

Please tell me your not my friend.

kreecherlivesupstairs · 02/02/2010 09:12

Are you 22 or am I being thick. YABU if you try to do a Mrs Robinson, not BU if you just lust at a distance.

LittleWhiteWolf · 02/02/2010 09:19

My DH, when he was younger, got a LOT of attention from all his mums friends. Every one of them had a bit of a useless partner and sons his age who weren't seemingly as sorted and polite as DH. Made him feel VERY awkward.
Even now, years later and now that his married to me and we have a daughter his mums friends still fawn over him. Now we just find it laughable and sad.

Sorry but you did ask!

Original poster
CradleSnatcher · 02/02/2010 09:26

Im 23, he'll be 17 soon.

I wouldn't act on it.

But if it was 10 years later I might have done, 27 and 33 doesn't seem so bad.

OP posts:
MarineIguana · 02/02/2010 09:30

There's nothing wrong with thinking it, but not as a realistic option and certainly don't let him or his mum know.

We had neighbours where I used to live who had two strapping, gorgeous and very well-brought-up teenage lads with long curly hair - exactly the type I used to go for when I was a teenager. I just used to admire from a distance!

pigletmania · 02/02/2010 09:44

Cradlesnatcher you need to sort out things with your husband either stay with him and work on things or leave him because you do sound unhappy and your only young, thought that you were much older.

pigletmania · 02/02/2010 09:44

look but not touch lol

pagwatch · 02/02/2010 09:50

My son is 16.
The thing is that boys this age are often very mature of body but still boys intheir heads.
It is actually an enchanting mix to parent but I kind of know what the op is saying.
My DS is 6ft tall and is (frankly) bloody gorgeous. he plays rugby and swears a bit and has very smart witty conversations but then at other times you can see he is still just a kid.

I think that the crush thing is actually just a resonance of that time in our own lives when we were finishing school and the whole week was about the weekend party and hoping to get off withthat boy from such and such that we sat in our bedrooms and sang angsty songs about.

But OPhaving said that actually wanting to bang him would be pretty euueeww though.
Definately look but don't touch.
Big difference when age gaps makes him still a boy and you a woman.
Step back

catastrojb · 02/02/2010 09:58

this just seems weird to me - i have a definite line before a boy is at least 18-20, where i just can't see any attractiveness. but being a secondary school teacher this is probably a good thing....

pastapestofor6 · 02/02/2010 10:01

you are not for real..a secondary school teacher with a crush on a 16 year old

pagwatch · 02/02/2010 10:01
pastapestofor6 · 02/02/2010 10:03

sorry sorry sorry crossed wires there

displayuntilbestbefore · 02/02/2010 10:04

A boy of 16?
Even if he looks older, the fact you know he's only 16 makes it rather strange that you can even look at him in any sort of crushy way.

catastrojb · 02/02/2010 10:04
Grin
bubblerock · 02/02/2010 10:06

At first I was shocked, but then remembered that I was 16 going out with a 32 year old!

JaneS · 02/02/2010 10:07

Hmm, I'd back off! I remember my boyfriend at this age and he was as shy as heck, despite seeming very mature and self-possessed (he just had nice manners with the shyness). His mum's friends used to flirt with him because he was about 6'3 and looked older ... it was really strange and icky and although we joked about it at the time he did admit later on that it was a bit uncomfortable for him. Lads that age sometimes have an odd gap between how articulate they are in general conversation and how capable they are of expressing their emotions.

Leave him alone 'til he's 20; if you still fancy him then, that's the time to act.

(Btw, I'm 25 and if you're anything like me, in a year or two you will suddenly realize that teenagers look scarily young! As in, 'eek, was I really allowed to have sex at that age' young. )

displayuntilbestbefore · 02/02/2010 10:10

OP - "he'll be 17 soon"

You can keep on trying to justify it but it's still not right

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 02/02/2010 10:11

Dunno.....does he look like Jacob Black? He's the only teenager I admit to crushing on...and that's pretty embarrassing. But then I am older than you. Thing is, I work with yoot and some of them are beautiful but that's just it - they are beautiful, youthful creatures whereas I am becoming an old hag (to that generation anyway)

I was asked out by one of them once (v inappropriate and embarrassing) he was 17, I was about 25? and have had teenage boys saying suggestive stuff to me. I feel a bit that that wouldn't happen anymore! How sick is that? But I'm no longer an older woman crush type but a flabby mummy type.... I think a bit of wistful yearning towards being a carefree gorgeous teenager is fine. Just don't bang him.

electra · 02/02/2010 10:13

'The thing is that boys this age are often very mature of body but still boys in their heads.'

Errr, does that ever change?? They are 'very young' at 22, 'too young to take responsibility' at 27......and so it goes on!!!!