To wish people weren't always so negative about large families?

[StirFry]

Dh and I have 5 DC between the ages of 11 and 4 months. We were out shopping today and the lady at the checkout said to me "ooh these aren't all yours are they?" when I said they were she looked mortified.

Unfortunately this kind of thing happens often. TBH not sure why people think they have the right to question us about it anyway!

Why are so many people so negative about families with lots of children? I can't think of one reason why it should be frown upon so much by so many!

Carrieboo, I think the '2 children' magic number is because 1 child will replace each parent when they die, so the population is sustained but not increased.

I read today that the population around 100 years ago was 1.6 billion, and today it's 6.8 billion.

DH showed me a graph that shows the population from the last ice age to today - it was a steady, straight horizontal line at the bottom of the page, increasing very slightly around Julius Ceasar's time, then from Victorian time onwards it starts to go goes up, with today the line being vertical.

Also he said (he's a scientist) that we in the West are using 'three planets' worth of resources, balanced out by the much lower use of groundwater, oil, fish stocks etc etc by the rest of the world. But, nations like India and China are fast catching up, they want our lifestyle, and the Earth's resources just can't sustain our selfish and unsustainable level of living for everyone.

So, the answer is not to educate your four children privately, or to only take them for holidays in the UK, but to consider the bigger picture. The world needs to sustain frewer people in the long run, so that everyone can have enough.

Even now, small island nations are running out of fish stocks...

Those facts are frightening tearinghairout. I worry about this stuff too. I have 2 children and would love a third but think I would actually feel too guilty to go for it. If I see a large family I do think they are selfish and certainly not to be applauded or looked on in "awe" as some have said. There are finite and running out resources so to merrily have lots of children just because you want to seems irresponsible to me. The old "well we use reusuables/dont fly/pass down clothes" etc is nonsense as was pointed out earlier on the thread. This only makes sense if you all plan to live in the same house and share the same car and clothes forever, something Im sure your children wont be wanting to do when they hit adulthood. Sorry but you did ask.

StirFry

My God!!! I'm sure it is not the sort of posts you hoped...
Do they really understand what a large family is, all those who are speaking about resources, siences, place in scools, demography, etc. ???
Having children (1, 2 or 5 or more...)is mainly a question of love...
Be proud of your choice. And don't listen too much to those who have "scientific arguments"...

Kerala, me too (about wanting three.) Mind you, that was before I had twins

I am in awe of how people with loads of kids manage, (all that clothes washing, all the shopping & cooking & timetable scheduling...) and am happy for them that those dch grow up in houses full of fun and laughter, always someone to talk to help with homework etc, but... it sure as hell isn't for me.

I think people just wonder 'but how do you cope?' rather than 'oh my god, have you never heard of a condom'.

I have one and due another in the summer, and will be stopping at that. I am already panicking about the sleepless nights that I'll have to endure for a 2nd time, and DH and myself cannot put ourselves through that again after this one is born. It wrecks your life. I take my hate off to those who go on to have many children - you must have the patience of a saint!!!

Only skimmed, so sorry if I'm repeating.

I wonder if one of the reasons large families can get negative reactions is because some (not by any means all) couples who have lots of children don't earn enough to support them all and are relying on the child benefit/tax credits they receive (and there may even be a suspicion that they have had more children BECAUSE OF the extra benefits). So large families who are not well off can be resented by the tax payer because the tax payer thinks he is subsidising them.

I think the "overpopulation" argument is daft frankly. The biggest impact on overpopulation is from developing countries; so the best impact will be made by increasing prosperity and medical care in those countries so they don't feel the need to have lots of kids in case some die. A few people in the West deciding to have 5 rather than 2 kids is a pinprick by comparison.

cos they are,

I have 5, some days I love the faces, others I want to [punch] them (well, not really, BYKWIM.

thing is, I would probably have the and faces at the childless....I think it is not so much being negative about large families, more about being at the unknown for us.

Kerala/those with the population so we are selfish argument if you are so worried why did you not have 0 or 1?

Two will not reduce the population at all, so doesn't that in turn make you selfish for wanting 2 rather than doing your bit to help ... .