(Dear IPOATthe Fourth, that a happy ending is altogether unlikely?

[Hullygully]

Or not?

come look at this thread - you'll like it

Tisane anyone?

My camels don't have keys. Perhaps we can throw in a medjool?

(can I just say that I am loving Hully being able to do links, it's like she has gone into a link frenzy, I can feel the frisson of excitement here )

.

The latter. Really.

(I have. I must stop.)

Tortured soul mask. Definitely.

Dates for a date, eh?

(oh no! Don't stop! I am very much enjoying it!)

My earlier marriage to the Ambassador was not like this...it was fun and wild. What have these other men done to him that he feels I should behave more 'accordingly'?

I wonder if they have some sort of club? or CULT!

"Don't arrange for the chimney sweep to come on the day your husband happens to be staying at home. He won't like either the sooty smell or the subsequent upset for cleaning urposes."

"Don't think anything too much trouble to do for your husband's comfort; remember he is occupied all day in working for you. Don't be afraid of thinking and planning and working for him."

"Don't let your husband wear a violet tie with grass-green socks. If he is unhappily devoid of the colour sense he must be forcibly restrained."

Ladies please, for pity's sake. This thread has me bursting my corset and wetting my bloomers. Please refrain from such tales as I fear I shall be needing my smelling salts afore too long!

oh, wooooe! wooooooooe! woooooooooooe!

What has happened to me? I am in the realms of nightmare, yet cannot awake!

...so what happens is this- I awake, next to some aristocratic type who I have never in my life set eyes on- my trousers and vest in a heap on the floor!There is a strange smell in my nostrils, clamminess all around and an infernal pounding in my head!

And he says we are married!!

married!

yes, me- sold into the bonds of slavery!

And it's all- well, you could wear your trousers, yes dear, I know they're better for mounting the yak, but maybe you could try this and yes, I love to entertain your friends, dear heart, but mayhap Mssrs Hazlitt, Southey, Coleridge, Blake, Paine, the Wordsworths &c. &c. may like to sup at their own tables once in a while and leave off my dry sack for a change yik yak yik yak

And he only feigns interest in my pamphlets, d- it! He takes them into the Unmentionable with him, yes, but when quizzed it is more than apparent he has not read a word

what, will none of you help me?

ah well. Better take a flask up- help me endure the unpleasantness

Miss Mary! Surely these is not the marriages we all desired! I must admit, my vision of marital bliss rather involved lots of carnal fun, and maybe a few draughts upon Drummonds!

We must put our heads together and come up with a cunning plan to liberate our unhappy sisters from this tatting hell...

Oh I waited so long for Rochester to join me in my chamber, well into the long watches of the night, but now that we are married he has lost all interest. He went out carousing with the other husbands, no doubt visiting the pirate tavern wench, Jamie, and left me to my lonely bed.

Why did no one warn me of the result of matrimony? Twas ever sold to me as the very pinnacle and acme of a young gir's achievement, nobody spoke of the next morning..and the long long sorry parade of mornings to follow.

Mr Rochester bades me pursue wifely occupations and leave him to his manly pursuits, but I feel it as a heavy bondage. I do not feel very wifely. I still feel I have dancing, lots of dancing, left within me that will not be quelled.

I wonder if the others feel the same? I dare not ask for twill reveal my lack of wifely feeling.

Ladies, I fear we may have married into some sort of cult. I overheard the men talking late last night and it seems we are to have our spirits broken then live as sex slaves who tatt for money!

I fear this whole 'gentlemen' act is a cunning ruse and we are to see their true colurs soon

Oh how I weep for the Ambassador. He has been brainwashed and I fear we are next!

Dear ladies, I have invited Lord Gregory of House, physician to the royal family and Father Brown to join us later this day for tea. We can discuss with them whether this issue with our husbands might stem from some physical malady, or whether it could be the result of dark forces at work. Father Brown is skilled in the casting out of demons, and Lord Gregory will perform a blood-letting if necessary, to release the malign humours.

(House RL swoon)

Gibbon dear, I very much fear you are right. Tis passing strange how alike they have grown in both manners and the garb they begin to adopt of an evening.

Let us hope and pray that Lord Gregory (who grows more handsome with each day) is able to help us. I am willing to undergo a very thorough examination if he should require one of us to submit to his long flexible probing fingers.

And thsnkfully Mme D'jibouti has shown the foresight to invite Father Brown also, he is a good man, surely he will be able to look deep into their minds and see what resides therein.

Has anyone seen Ms Mary, I mean the Duchess of Avon, this morn? I heard a most wretched screaming from her chamber last night.

(Umami - gt ending to thread the third..how DO you do it? Or would it spoil the magic to tell us?)

well, far be it from me to tell you I told you so!

I am off to navigate the perimeter on the yak, and to assess the possibility of escape from this gilded prison

...I might be some time

(It would indeed spoil the magic!)

If only there were someone outside the perimeter of our gaol whom we could contact, someone who is trusted and who cares about both our virtue and our pleasure....

Is there not a White Knight, upon a fiery steed?