(Dear IPOATthe Fourth, that a happy ending is altogether unlikely?

[Hullygully]

Or not?

Oh shagging..

Well that's enough of that, we have distressed gentlewomen to rescue.

Look there's one over there, walking past the gate with her little basket, poke bonnet and bowed shoulders. Clearly a slave to a fiendish husband. let's go get her.

Good morning Mistress! How do you this fine morn? Methinks you look a little tired and wan. Would you care to take a tisane and rest awhile within our Hall?

This other lady is a dear Widow who wishes only to offer comfort where she can and live a life of service to others.

Pray, let me carry your basket, for 'tis heavy and you are tired.

I have asked Butler to lay out tea and some small delicacies in the Alarmingly Tangerine Sitting Room.

(I have been having another little go at light steerage)

Sit here dear

Now, pray tell us your name and marital status.

Look Mimi, we have our first refugee from the terrors of marriage! She may seem a little reluctant, but I feel sure that with some duck stuffed with larks tongues, a glass of malmsey and some light pamphleteering, whe will soon agree with us.

Er, is she actually married? I see no wedding ring...

Ah.

Ahem...
If we intend to steal rescue passing Maidens from the ignomy of married life then it will become quite crowded in here.

I am going to need some kind of sucking device to deal with the dust and dirt. I am quite exhausted.

Ladies, this young lady is crying quite hard now. Are we sure she is entirely comfortable with our notion of a refuge?.

Oh she'll thank us in the end.

Now young lady, mop your tears and we'll show you to your chamber. You musn't mind the bars on the window, they are just to keep vagabonds and stray men at bay.

Have you done much fine needlework?

Look, look how quickly she sets to her needlepoint

In truth she does not look happy though. She seems to be stitching "send for hel..."

You don't think she plans to pass this work through the bars to safety passers by do you?

If only MissMary were here, she would know what to do!

Mayhap she longs for company? Come, let us away to discover more poor souls in torment, in need of guidance and love.

If we got some comely ones we could set up a saucy eurythmy troop..and send them to dance all over MN.

(Personally, I feel our gaiety and wit enhances every thread we grace it with..)

The world needs more gaiety. Your orang-utan is very gay.

MN could indeed do with some elegant entertainment just now. It seems filled with ill temper and dischord.
Perhaps someone could sing?

Such a shame poor The Honourable Michaela of Jacksonville passed away. She could carry a tune to sooth many a troubled breast

He is luvverly inne? For at least ten minutes I was going to relocate to some warm African-ish clime and be all Dr Dolittle.

So apart from the eurhythmy, craft seminars and rich food, what are we to do with these ladies once we have them?

Perhaps we could put it to good use in our quest for equality?

Ms Mary will be so pleased! It costs a fortune to get them done otherwise!

Suggested First Title:

Tatting or Tethers? A Maiden's Guide to Marital Choice

An excellent title, Mimi. Sadly I must swoon..

I feel a series coming on of instructional guides. The Enslavement of Embroidery - Sew your Way from Slavery.

We could lace their corsets unbearably tightly and milk them...