to feel pity for the mum who killed her kids?

[littlestmummystop]

Obviously it is an unforgivable thing to do..

But sometimes when I see these parent kills kids stories, part of me nods and thinks: There for the Grace of God.

I've never been in the position where I've wanted to do something so terrible. But I have been involved in a horrible, bitter break up, been stuck in the house with a screaming child, been driven to the edge of my sanity by all the responsibility and depressive feelings...

I can see why someone, who IS of a deranged mind, who doesn't have any support can do this.

She'll get villified now and all she needed was help. Those kids were obviously well cared for, for years beforehand. When a good mum turns bad something has gone horribly wrong and it's a shame more people don't help in these situations.

well, that is true enough, SGB.

she may have been delusional. often when people are delusional they try to hide it, what they experience is very real to them, but on some level they know it's not rational or normal and hide it. OR, like Yates, have seriously lost their grip on reality, but have family which refuses to acknowledge their loved one is very, very ill and treat them appropriately.

I think we are mainly meaning people like Yates ExP.

When People say I wouldn't do this they are actually spot on. I comes with beliefs, boundaries, norms and limits. Severe Psychosis steals the I and replaces with fear, confusion and sometimes violence.

The facts are she killed her children, I have no sympathy. there is nothing more unimaginable than wanting to harm your own children. i would kill someone with my bare hands if my children were threathened.
I hope she rots in hell!

Have skimmed thread. Actually I think there is an overall, general difference between women who do this and men who do it. When I have heard of cases of men doing it, it is often to punish or hurt a partner or ex-partner for rejecting them. If they didn't do it, or if they just killed themselves, the DC would safe be with their mum. When women do, in many cases it seems it's because they don't see any other good option for their DC, eg they can't see a way to escape from an abusive marriage and if they just kill themselves they'd be leaving the DC with the abuser (that poor woman who went under a train with her DC a couple of years ago) or they can't cope any more but there is no one else for their DC (the woman who jumped off a bridge with her son who had SN).

Of course there are exceptions and of course it is not in the DC best interests, but I think when it's a woman it's more often out of desperation than a desire to get back at the other partner, which is what happens with so many men - who have often been controlling and abusive in the relationship and can't handle it ending.

We don't yet know in this case though.

Curryfreak- You are absolutely right when you say that there is nothing more unimaginable than harming your own children.

Absolutely right.

Read the last few posts though and try and get an idea about what we are actually talking about.

I've only skimmed the thread. Sure I've missed the hand wringing liberal lefty perspective, like the one above!

tiredemma,- I know exactly what is being discussed here.Heard it all before, as it were. I just think it is mostly crap!

.

What's the point in even trying to explain to you?
Instead of 'skimming' the thread try reading it.

I definitely have double standards and am firmly with SGB.

Often (not always) when the father kills, it's out of spite towards the mother and a belief that he owns them.

Often (not always) when the mother kills, it's because things have become so distorted in her mind, that she thinks it's the best way out for her children. They'll be "safe" with her in death.

It could break your heart.

I've read it all now, I'm still right!

You are right about what exactly though?

Here we go... "liberal lefty perspective"... I was waiting for that...

Why is people debating this, No one knows what happened, and people are condemning the mother already!

Its sick and very disturbing!

ICD-10

I think a key fact is the repeated use of the word delusional.As in,they are deluded. Or not properly cogniscient of whatever it is they are deluded about.

How on earthn can someone who is clinically deluded know that and still be deluded? They can't. So.....

gut reactions, LMH, innit. Not really sick or disturbing.

Before I had DS I always felt some sympathy with women who had been driven to do this by mental health problems or other things not under their control. I have still some sympathy with them now, albeit less (because I can't imagine doing it to DS), but especially when DS is being totally unbearable (as 2yo can be).

However, I have no sympathy for women who allow their DC to be harmed, either by themselves or others, as in the case of Baby P for example. They should have a place in a very special kind of hell.

So - If it turns out the mother was ill, then OP I believe YANBU. Otherwise - YABU and no sympathy here.

I've just read that the woman's husband was arrested for assaulting her, is this true?

According to Telegraph, it was the husband who called the police because she was violent towards him?
There is absolutely no bloody excuse for what that woman did. NONE. END OF.
Sick.