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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not appreciate people shortening or mispronouncing my name?

107 replies

Vallhala · 25/01/2010 23:29

Spurred by babyicebean's comment on another thread, I'm curious as to other's opinions. I have a fairly unusual first name, which I very much like. I don't like it being shortened when I haven't indicated that I prefer another version.

What pees me off even more is it being mispronounced even when I have just told someone what it is. As in:

"My name is (for example) Susan."

"Ah, okay Sasan..."

I then go on to drop my name into conversation again, and (eg when speaking to bank/council etc) spell it if requested.

Its hard to explain without divulging my real name, but I hope you get the gist.

Would it bug you too? I feel like saying, "No, not Sasan, Susan! It's got a bloody U in it, not an A!", though I haven't had the nerve to... yet!

OP posts:
ThursdaysGirl · 26/01/2010 01:20

MadameDeathstare I wonder if we share the same name as I get called all those things too

campion · 26/01/2010 01:26

Why do people on ' Baby Names' ( and why isn't it just ' Names' as you're naming a person for life?) obsess about a name and then immediately wonder what the most suitable shortened version should be? I really don't get that. If you're giving a child a name either call it by that or give it the short version you obviously like better! ( had to get that off my chest )

DS2 has a name which has become popular recently but is almost always shortened - except by us. No-one asks him, they just assume.He answers to both but, although I don't mind the short version, that's someone else to me.

My own name is almost never shortened except by an old friend,so I was a more than a bit when the curtain fitter did it!

PrincessFiorimonde · 26/01/2010 01:32

MadameD - can't imagine what your name could be in order to garner such different attempts at it. Won't ask you what it is, though, as that would be nosy intrusive. But aren't people sometimes odd like that?

On a slightly different tangent, today I received a letter from a travel agent, confirming my booking for hol.

I kid you not, apart from the 1st and last lines, this was the way the letter was addressed:

tba
Persley

Quite apart from the fact that I had spent ages on the phone giving our details, including spelling out the name of our street, how can ANYONE have thought that this was a functional address?

MadamDeathstare · 26/01/2010 01:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

nooka · 26/01/2010 02:54

Lol. I have this problem too, with a very unusual and quite long name. I am totally not bothered by mispronunciations (I figure that I have the weird name, so why should I expect them to know what to do with it, besides having worked in Inner London for ten years, I am sure I have myself mispronounced many names). I'm not too bothered about misspellings either (although I do wonder about their general spelling ability at times).

But I absolutely hate it if people try to shorten my name. I have one short form used by my family only (and a few childhood friends), but there is an alternative, quite common shortening that could be derived from my name, and a few people have tried to use that. Not very successfully, because I don't respond to it (this isn't intentional, it just doesn't relate to me at all, and as it's fairly common I assume they must be addressing someone else). I did have one (lovely) university tutor who tried this and got very frustrated, and was then very surprised when I told her that the name she was using was not in fact my name, and if she wanted me to know she was talking to me she should use my actual name. "But I shorten everyone's name" she said. Not mine

cory · 26/01/2010 07:40

Even my husband can't pronounce my name (foreign).

BouncingTurtle · 26/01/2010 07:47

YANBU. My name is a 5 letter name ending in ia, so -ia and people think it is perfectly okay to shorten it to -.

Absolutely hate it

StealthPolarBear · 26/01/2010 07:50

I have a short, bog standard name which people occasionally lengthen! OK, it's Kate, and I don't mind friends and family calling me Katy, but I hate it when strangers assume that's what it is. I once asked colleagues to drop my name pointedly in conversation with someone we were working with
my old biology teacher shouted "Catherine" at me - I was about to get a telling off - I then got a further telling off for ignoring her when she was calling someone else's name!!

StealthPolarBear · 26/01/2010 07:50

ooh have I ever done that BT?? Hope not!

EccentricaGallumbits · 26/01/2010 07:55

I don't answer to my long 'real' name. Just the diminutive.

Family have oly ever called me by the shrt version and as soon as i left school and had to introduce myself that's what i chose to be known as.

it is a pain in the arse when remebering which name to use and when.

ErikaMaye · 26/01/2010 09:27

Speedy don't spoil it for me, am impressed I even remembered both your names!!!

On another note, people keep asking me why I have named my son Brian. I haven't - its Bryn. And a friend of the family has already (at eleven weeks!) started shortening it (!!) to B. Its a one syllable name already for goodness sakes...

TigerFeet · 26/01/2010 09:38

I go by a shortened version of my name, trouble is there are two or three accepted shortenings of my name and I can't stand the others, they don't feel like me.

There is one person in the world who is forgiven because she is the most lovely person and she is allowed

Everyone else can just feck off

I don't mind my usual shortening or my full name, but no no no no to the ending with a "y"

SerenityNowAKABleh · 26/01/2010 09:43

My name is relatively short and simple, but certain types of people always mispronounce it, namely Germans, Russians and old men (including one grandfather and my great uncle). I just find that a bit bizarre

castille · 26/01/2010 09:45

Neither my foreign DH nor any of my equally foreign friends and colleagues can pronounce my name, so I use a different version of it which i don't like and doesn't suit me but at least they can say properly.

God I wish my parents had stuck to plan A and used my middle name as my first name...

NoahAndTheWhale · 26/01/2010 09:48

TigerFeet I have the same thing with shortening of name (although yours is the C version and mine in the K version ).

I cannot stand the shortening ending in a "y" either. My PE teacher used to do it. It made me .

My family call me by a shortened version - DH has tried but can't manage to . His granny calls me by the same shortened version, as both DH's sister and his brother's wife are called the version starting with C and when all three of us are together it gets a little confusing .

I don't mind people having problems with my surname as it is Cornish and a bit weird.

I do have problems with people shortening DS's name - it is an 8 letter name beginning with B. There is a very obvious shortened form with three letters. But it isn't DS! There are another 4 in his class - you would think teachers would be glad there was one who uses the full version .

NoahAndTheWhale · 26/01/2010 09:49

I obviously have Issues I think .

I do also call DS Bob. Although this is not his name at all

StealthPolarBear · 26/01/2010 09:51

ErikaMaye, spoken or written? because i refer to my children as T&A often on here, quicker to type & a bit more anonymous. in texts it saves space and is quicker. Would never call them T or A though

pigletmania · 26/01/2010 09:53

I have a very unusual Armenian name which i have grown to like, I dont like it shortened but dont mind if people at first mispronounce it thats fine as it takes a while to get used to. I met an Indian lady at mums ant toddlers and she has a heavy accent and found it took me a few goes to pronounce her name but did it at the end.

TigerFeet · 26/01/2010 09:55

Noah (or should that be NoahAndTheWhale ) I have just worked out who you are

Hello!

sungirltan · 26/01/2010 09:59

Valhalla - i totally get you with the susan/sasan thing. I get that too with my name. What i want to respond with is 'er...its not YOUR name to pronounce how you please!!' Unfortunately I cursed my daughter with this issue as well. To the point where my 2 year old god daughter has started correcting adults when they ask her name and say it back wrong. Which kind of shows that if a toddler can pay attention and get it the first time....

NoahAndTheWhale · 26/01/2010 10:00

TigerFeet I forgot I had name changed .

I am very happy being shortened on Mumsnet

NoahAndTheWhale · 26/01/2010 10:01

I have been known to call my children A and B. But not in public.

pigletmania · 26/01/2010 10:02

It is U to expect a person to pronounce it perfect first time especailly if its a very unusual name that requies it said in a certain way.

ErikaMaye · 26/01/2010 10:13

SPB - spoken! Haven't got a problem with it written for the reasons you've mentioned. But spoken?

ChickensLoveMarmite · 26/01/2010 10:17

I have a fairly unusual name. I loathe the way it is shortened (makes me sound like I've been lobotomised). In fact, one of the reasons I fell for DH's charms was that he never feels the need to shorten my name.

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