to think that parents who buy their 6 yr old children i-pod touches & tv/dvd players for their bedrooms are making it hard for the rest of us?

[Karensara]

My 6 yr old has just come back from a friend's house after school, and when we got home was in floods of tears as "all her friends" have got i-pod touches, i-pods, ds lite's as well as their own tv's/dvd players. I can think of at least 3 of her friends who have i-pod touches and most of them have tv's/dvd players in their rooms. Someone I know has children who each have their own tv's/dvd players in their rooms as well as their own i-pods and they are aged 10, 8 & 6!! Ok - we live in a very wealthy area, but we are NOT wealthy by any stretch of the imagination. But I have to admit, even if we could afford these things, I think that 6 is far too young to have them. I want my daughter to play with her toys, not be stuck to a screen at such a young age. We have a Wii, computer and laptop so she does get to play Club Penguin, etc.. so she's not missing out completely. Am I just being an old fashioned fuddy-duddy and should get with the times, or am I being the sensible one. Im confused!

Your dd has not just been to my house has she?

If it makes a difference it's not an ipod, it's a hello kitty mp3 player and it cost a tenner. Her ds lite broke and she paid for the cd player with her own hard earned pocket money.

my twins are 6 and have just got a dsi for their birthday, we have a wii as a family and one TV, as far as I knwo this is not unusual amongst their friends.

I think I might be an old fashioned fuddy duddy - mine are 8 and 6 - they only use laptop at home vv occasionally for school stuff and no way are they having a tv or anything in their room. No IPods, no ds's nothing at all...... my oldest sometimes tells me all her mates have them but honestly we are breeding a generation which cannot even sit still in a car or be bored and have to be continually entertained....... Mine do watch a bit of telly and have their own kids dvds they do have too many toys of course but i just cannot see what anyone has to gain by providing interactive entertainment for all of the childrens' waking hours. Personally, i think it is a mistake and not for my family at all.

You are not being an old fashioned fuddy duddy. Stupidly we got our DD 7 a ds lite for Christmas what a waste of money.My dd now will not read when asked and has become in the space of a few weeks a bit of techno strop. Refrain from getting one of these things we are now having to give dd time allowances on it.Like all parents sometimes you just think you are doing the right thing buying into this rubbish. whatever happened to hopscotch and buckaroo?

My 7y DD has her own iPod and docking station. She got it last Christas, she was just over 6.5y. The iPod used to be ours, but we upgraded it for a bigger memory one. DD loves her music and uses her iPod daily in its docking station. I don't think it is too young to enjoy music. We are likely to buy her a new one this birthday as hers is full (it is only a 2 gig one). I will then have the old one for my car.

She also has her own netbook computer. She got it for her borthday. Why? Because I don't want to share mine, and the the little laptop she has is ideal for us to take away on holidays, etc. Was fantastic in New York last year for downloading photos each day, and for checking out admission info on places we wanted to visit. Her internet access is restricted to supervised access only.

She has a DS, which she got when she was 5.5y. She isn't the type to get obsessed with this kind of thing, so we don't have to restrict times, etc. I have one too.

We have a family Wii.

She doesn't have a TV in her room as I don't want her watching TV and DVDs up in bed.

I persnally have no problem with children having access to and having their own technology. We only havethe one child so affordability it easier obviously. We would never buy someting we couldn't really afford anyway. We can, so do.

yabu in that suggesting what other parents choose for their dcs's makes life harder for you.

As you said you wouldn't buy those things anyway for your dc so it is unreasonable to expect other parents to share the same view as you.

Sorry

Yanbu.

I find the majority of mnetters are not in favour of loads of electronic gadgetry at too young an age.

So - where are you all, you shy mnetters, when it comes to my dc school and their peers? Eh?

YANBU.dd1's best friend has a dad who buys her everything she asks for.In fact,the little girl said to me when I asked what Father Christmas was bringing her,'My Dad buys me everything I want anyway'.DD1,bless her,does understand that it doesn't work that way in our house,and says she knows that although she badly wants something,she can't always have it.

We also made a massive effort to buy family games at christmas - I was stunned how much of a hit they were with mine - they have a bingo game which is a massive fave - also operation has gone down a storm with them and us too. As darkndstormy says, in my experience too, with friends of mine they end up having to bargain with their children to get them to do normal stuff. We also bought a huge set of playmobil for christmas and that was a runaway success - this has been a calculated effort to de-tech our children, and de-telly them too a bit actually. It has really worked for us re. the telly and plans to introduce tech into their home lives soon. They use it at school and that's good enough for me.

YABU
We don't have a telly in the house, but I don't feel undermined by the majority who do.

Well yes, but then parents who give them riding lessons also make life harder for those of us who can't afford that. And families with dogs have caused many a tear in the cory household over the years (can't look after a dog as I work).

The way I look at it is, it's my responsibility to manage my children's expectation and teach them to deal with these feelings: it is not the responsibility of their friends' parents.

Why does it make life harder for you??

I don't live in a wealthy area, and I'm not wealthy myself, but we all have xbox, plsystation, iPod and I touches..... They have a place in modern life...... Just like your laptop does.

Fwiw i disagree with lot's of electronic items for young children too.

DS has an old ipod (mini - before the nano). I got it second hand for £40 for Christmas and he's listened to it for all of 3 days lol... really must find the lead to charge it! He has a wii, well, we do as that's a family thing. We only have one telly in the house... so "all" he has is the ipod and wii which I don't think is terrible

He's never nagged about it simply because I won't allow it. So what if "all" his friends have a ds or xbox or whatever - he can't KNOW anyway because he's not been to ALL their houses; I tell him the things he DOES have and how damn well lucky he is for what he's got even if it isn't top of the range - news items help hammer this home!

We don't have a Wii- does that make you feel bad about my children, OP?

What!!! You have biscuits in your house, bellavita?? Not faiiirr: my children will start wanting them too. (couldn't half do with a cuppa and a nice gingernut)

My nearly 6yo dd came home from a party yesterday and talked for ages about how much playmobil her friend had. (I hate it!) She does have a tv though - but only allowed at the weekend.

Its called parenting. Its called saying no. Ds(6) friends get a magazine and a go-go each week. I just say no. its not hard. ds has a dsi. I decide how often he plays it. i don't care what his friends parents do. some parents let their kids jump on the furniture . i don't. my rules in my house. Op needs to grow a spine and stop blaming others.

Sorry - point is children will always be jealous of what their friends have. Our job is to manage expectations.

We have homemade brownies and flapjack too cory - what is the world coming to.....

My 5.6 year old has a ds he is allowed to play it for an hour after school and 30 mins after dinner. The three boys have a tv/dvd player in their room but generaly use it to play their cd's on and never never have it on after lights out. We have a family wii but we also have Doh nutters, Connect4 numeorus puzzles and games and drawing painting materials etc. Bit of what they fancy does them good imho.

Oblomov - I agree. My DS has a DS, before that he had a second hand gameboy. He's been wanting a Wii for the last 2 years but understood that although his friends have them it doesn't mean I can afford one. Personally I think it does them good not to have everything they want and my DS really appreciates what he does have and looks after his things.

We don't have a Wii. We have one tv - 14" portable. I do have a DS but don't really use it and ds (5.5) gets to play with it only when we are away on holiday.

One desktop computer not internet connected (wifi refuses to recognise it!) and one laptop to which ds gets occasional supervised access.

Iphone that ds can play games on as a treat. He does ask and we do seem to be the only family we know that doesn't have a Wii but then we are also the only family we know with a lovely wooden two story playhouse in the garden.

We do lots of trips to different places - theatre, museums, concerts etc that most of his friends rarely do.

I am very good at managing ds's expectations .