to think that parents who buy their 6 yr old children i-pod touches & tv/dvd players for their bedrooms are making it hard for the rest of us?

[Karensara]

My 6 yr old has just come back from a friend's house after school, and when we got home was in floods of tears as "all her friends" have got i-pod touches, i-pods, ds lite's as well as their own tv's/dvd players. I can think of at least 3 of her friends who have i-pod touches and most of them have tv's/dvd players in their rooms. Someone I know has children who each have their own tv's/dvd players in their rooms as well as their own i-pods and they are aged 10, 8 & 6!! Ok - we live in a very wealthy area, but we are NOT wealthy by any stretch of the imagination. But I have to admit, even if we could afford these things, I think that 6 is far too young to have them. I want my daughter to play with her toys, not be stuck to a screen at such a young age. We have a Wii, computer and laptop so she does get to play Club Penguin, etc.. so she's not missing out completely. Am I just being an old fashioned fuddy-duddy and should get with the times, or am I being the sensible one. Im confused!

I think that everyone has slightly different view points on what is "right" for their child/ren to have.

DS is 6, DD is 4. We don't have a Wii. We do have a PS2 but as I can never work out how to plug it in, they only do things with it when DH is around to help.

We have a laptop, which DS uses a bit. I have an ipod touch, which both DS and DD use sometimes. I have an ipod which I either use when running, or it is plugged into speakers, so more people can hear it.

I am personally not happy with children having televisions in their bedrooms. But others are happy with it. There are things I do which I am sure others wouldn't be happy with.

One thing I never understand is how having a TV in a DC's room that isn't connected to an aerial makes you a better person, as this is how it appears from the way people do like to put it in their posts. I realise it means a child can't find unsuitable TV programmes, but it is still watching a screen.

Bucharest.

It is pretty difficult to shield your child from these things when they have a 16 year
old brother and a 13 year old brother .

When DS1 was 6 he had not a clue but when you often have a house full of teenagers and all that comes with them it is a little less straightforward.

And a 7 year old really really does wantto be cool like their big brothers and their girlfriends.

It is very easy to be judgey pants when they are small enough for you to isolate their exposure.
Parenting DS1 in this regard was a flippin sight easier

Hulababy- I think maybe it's more the fact it has to be an ipod rather than some generic (and infinitely cheaper) mp3 player that people object to?

A I said dd doesn't know what one is yet, so am just guessing. She doesn't seem to be that much into music yet,apart from the odd thing she hears on an advert. "oooh mummy, I like this song". It's usually something like Neil Diamond.

Ah you see my DD adores music. She always has done, from being quite tiny. She loves dancing, making up routines, singing, making up on songs, etc. We do vet the songs to ensure she doesn't end up with song with swearing on.

DD knows what an iPod is because we have had one for ages. She knows what iTunes is and how it works as she has helped me put our CD collection onto iTunes one weekend.

DD ended up with an iPod initially as I gae er my old one, when we got a bigger one for us. However this is now full as it is an old one with smaller memory. It was cheaper for her to have our old one than a new MP3 player. We are going to buy her a new bigger mempory iPod thpugh. Why an iPod? Because it is easier for us that way - it will use iTunes nd be a case of just movng songs about easier. Also DD now knows how to use an iPod so again easier.

IMHO it's less about how much they have and more about how much they value it. We invited a local family over in christmas hols - all the DC were playing with guitar hero (DS's Christmas present) on our (family, not DS's) wii. Their 2 boys (7 & 9) absolutely loved it - they have a wii - and as they left they were working out whether if they asked for guitar hero for a joint birthday present, and threw in the remains of their Christmas money, they might be able to get it.

I like these people - that, to me, is a sensible approach.

OTOH we have just ordered DS a netbook - he hasn't asked for it, and has no idea how much it is costing, but he has reached an age when he needs to start to have email/web access and can't really use my laptop or DH's as they are work-owned.

We have a wii and a ps3 connected to our main tv. The boys have a ps2 also connected to their tv. We all have mobiles (dh has 2). I have an i-pod nano, the boys both have mp3 players. Ds1 is currently saving for an i-pod touch.

Just because we enjoy our gadgets does not make us bad parents or mean that our children are midless zombies. Nor when making a purchase do we stop and think 'should we really get this in case it upsets someone outside our family'.

mindless

I frankly couldn't care less how what my children have effect other children.

And Ipods are fab toys for kids to have on long flights or long car journeys with stories on them when they are not old enough to read!

Dd1 has everything. She has a PS3, that we bought second hand for a very, very good cause. She has her own TV, that she got one xmas, a video player that dd1 herself bought off my sister, with her pocket money, a dvd player DH won from work, an mp3 player she got for her birthday, a DS, which is broken, but she has just given me more of her pocket money to buy the part she needs to repair it and a CD player, she bought with her xmas money.

Most of the games/CDs/DVDs she has have been bought by herself from the second hand shop after she has saved her pocket for a few weeks.

She earns her pocket money via good behavior. She gets £2 for practising her spellings without a fuss and anything is else is given for examples of being extra good i.e. last week she got an extra pound for cleaning her room thoroughly without being asked. Last night she comforted dd2 after a nightmare and slept with her, so that she did not disturb me and DH again. She will get another pound for behaving considerately towards her sister.

Before she realised that Monster House was out on the DS aswell as the Xbox, she was saving for a second hand Xbox. She managed to save over £60, before spotting the DS version fo the game and buying that instead.

If the fact that dd1 has all this stuff, OP, makes your life difficult, perhaps you should advise your dc to save up, like dd1 does?

Or maybe I should tell dd1 to stop saving for that Buzz game she wants on the PS3 incase her being good with with her money, makes life difficult for her friends parents?

tbh I think there are two different issues really.

The first is the issue of parenting and whether other parents make your life hard which in reality is just nonsense as people all parent their own way and have to bring up their children to realize that not everyone is the same or has the same things. Lots of my friends had swimming pools in their gardens (I grew up abroad) yet I don't think my parents ever felt under pressure to build one or to move house so I could have one too.

But imo the other issue is one of turning children into minni adults at far too young an age by allowing them to have all these gadgets.

I can sort of see the argument for a child having an ipod or similar mp3 player, it's no different to us having tape recorders when we were children really, and an ipod takes up much less space and you don't have to buy cd's for it. But why an ipod touch? Why not just a standard ipod that they can listen to music on?

My biggest bugbear is mobile phones. Phones are for adults - there is IMO little reason for children to have mobiles and my ds won't be getting one, not even at secondary school. There is a six yo in his class who has a mobile phone - why?

The argument that it keeps them safe is rubbish - it' makes them a greater target for bullying/muggings etc.

I think as a society we've lost sight of the fact that our children are actually still children and we are turning them into adults too young.

Bucharest, your DD has impeccable taste in music!

There is no way my DS will have a tv/dvd in his bedroom until he's at least 15. If he starts kicking off about it, we'll be packing up and moving to the nearest Amish community.

Gadgets are great but I do think a lot of stuff these days is a bit insular and doesn't encourage interaction in our children. Having said that, each to their own I suppose.

DS does play on the laptop, we play Cbeebies games together, or solitaire. There is a TV/DVD in the playroom and sometimes watches Cbeebies there whilst I'm getting on with stuff, otherwise, we watch together in the living room.

I like the Wii, although we don't have one as yet would defo consider that as it's something we could all do together.

Wannabe I said the same as you re the i-pod touch. Ds1 asked for one for his birthday and I said no as he has an mp3 player. But if he wants to save for it himself then fine. It's his money.

I have no issue with children and mobiles though (ok, 6 is maybe a bit too young). I know we all managed perfectly well without them as children. We also managed perfectly well without pc's and t'internet, but technology has moved on and just because our children keep up with it doesn't mean they're loosing their childhood. They just have different childhoods than we did. As did we compared to our parents.

Personally I think thats terrible, no 6 year old should have a tv etc in their bedroom, their 6 ! Infact I think at any age is unsociable and lazy parenting.

Mine has books and toys !

If he wants to play on the wii, then we play together in the lounge.

Who would a primary school child phone on a mobile? I can;t see any reason for my DD to have a mobile whilst at primary age. When she goes to secondary school we will assess the situation at the time to see if she needs one or not. Althouh I still kind of think 11y is young.

On the subject of mobile phones, i have never been so grateful that ds1 has one as i was on Friday, there was an incident, that he had not really been involved in, but was kept by the police in the street for 45m. if he had not had his phone, i would not have been able to find out where he was and go and pick him up.

Yes you would, ladyevenstar - the police would have rung you.

Seeker, the police kept 3 11yr old boys in the street for 45 minutes, nobody called me or the other parents. I spoke to the police on DS1's phone and was told they would call me when they knew what was happening....its tuesday now and they have not called yet, guess its good that i did have his mobile to call him on!!

Mine go to school by train and have been held up over an hour some nights. I need them to be able to contact me to tell me what's going on. They had mobiles from about 10 when they started to be independent and go places by themselves.

Whats the point of a TV in a childs bedroom ?

I agree that the point at which they start being independent is the point at which mobiles are useful - and also the point at which they are mature enough to understand the usage rules. If/when DS changes schools and is travelling on his own on the bus I will seriously contemplate getting him a 'phone - but it won't be a latest and greatest desirable mugger-attracting one - it will be the cheapest and/or most rugged one I can find which will enable him to make and receive calls, and send and receive texts. IfWhen he wants something more, he can save for it.

If it's any consolation, OP, we only have one TV in the house and that is in the living room. I am sure DS1 (13) and DS2 (9) would love to have a TV in their room - but have never asked (probably know what the answer would be!)

DS1 has asked if we can have "other channels" but we are, at present, a strictly terrestrial family only.

No Wii. No iPods

I bought a DS in the summer, which is loaned to DS1 & DS2 sometimes - but as it is mum's they do not see as their own to play with as they like (not that I play with it either - was bought when DS1 went on school trip, and was v sad that his best (only) friend unable to go, due to hospital admission.

We did indulge in a PS3 as a joint pressie for DS1 and DS2 Christmas - mainly because was taking DS1 and 3 friends somewhere, and the subject of consoles came up. I realised then how "out" of things DS1 was. Hate the reasons for doing it, but felt that on this occasion I had to keep up with the crowd. Still limit their time on it though.

Oops am painting a rather strict picture of myself here. Am not really a dragon...