to confront DS/DD/DH? [sad]

[EmbarrassedNConfused]

A website was up today, some teen dating site I happened upon on the family laptop. Whoever last used it hadn't logged out and I admit - I snooped in the messages.

There were tons of mails from boys and girls to either DS (11), DD (10), or DH (I know, weird and I wouldn't normally suspect him but I think the kids are too little for this??) about wanting to shag all night, give/get oral, meet up when the house is quiet, etc.

Who - if anyone - do I confront about this? I feel really concerned and confused.

DH I would hope, not hope obviously, but rather it be him than the children if it was me?

So sorry.

Are the messages spelled correctly? That would give away the age.

I am hoping for your sake that you have a naughty DS and not the worst case scenario

Why on earth would you rather it was DH? Am I misunderstanding this?

I expect it was one of the children being curious wasn't it?

I would most certainly not rather that it's DH of course!!! I'm just assuming that it could be him as I think the children aren't up to that maturity level yet.

The opposite for me - having a paedophile for a husband would be worse than having an 11 year old trying out advanced sexual terms on the internet.

I would ask the children first. Imagine if DH is innocent and he knows you suspected him?

LFC That's exactly what I meant, sorry if it came across as anything else. I just have no clue how to broach this, I've never had to deal with anything like this before and I'm confused, thought it might help to get others' perspectives before diving in

Yes, sorry, that question about "rather it was DH" was to LadyofhteFlowers.

I'm being confusing, sorry.

I didn't think of the site being 'teen' sorry - missed that bit.

My kids are not 11 yet so was just thinking I would hope they didn't know about all this stuff yet, but I am not up with what kids know nowadays.

Sorry for mix up, will piss off.

OK, I would assume it was one of the children until proved otherwise.

I think an 11-year-old is perfectly capable of indulging their curiosity on a teen dating website. Can you tell anything from the timing of the messages, have a look at internet history to see how often the site has been accessed. What about the registration details - presumably it is still logged into the account.

I think perhaps talk to DH first.
'I think we've got an internet problem with one of the DCs'

Why do you assumet he children are too young? If they're at secondary school, they'll know a DAMN sight more than you think! I bet it has been a "dare" by schoolfriends

I think you and I between us are ballsing up this thread Lady...I'll bugger off too!

I could sort of see what LOTF meant,.
Children talking like that on the internet are vulnerable.
You'd worry whoever it was - like the OP is.

Could you tell if there had been posts made from your laptop? There may be a way to find out if it is / was still logged in.
Hopefully it's your DS. I know some boys of that age who are sex mad. It's a bit alarming I know, but probably normal to be curious.
I would start by having a general chat with your DCs about the dangers of chatting / dating online and see if they look guilty.

'meet up when the house is quiet' is not really a child's phrase - surely more likely to say meet down the park?

Can you tell anything from the language or when they were posted?

how awful for you - has ds got older friends/is he mature for his age? might just be curiosity/a dare etc, then he paniced when he heard you coming and forgot to log off

i would think that IF your DH was up to anything dodgy he would be certain to cover his steps and NOT make a silly mistake like that

has your DH ever given you ANY cause for concern, at all, ever?

you could always go down the line of talking to him very casually about a thread on MN with simialr story, and try to guage his reaction

snoop on it some more.....i think it could be dd/ds,though messages from boys AND girls??? thats a bit odd...

can you check your search history files? Perhaps this site was stumbled on? You can therefore investigate intent.

I know you must be going out of your mind but please try to stay calm- you are doing the correct thing by immediatley addressing it.

God, stomach is churning the more I think about this/check into it.

Looks like the posts go back for about 3 months, I can not find any registered details, only a link to 'edit my profile' which doesn't have anything except a username.

Does the actual username give you any clue at all?

I would think it more likely to be an older person, perhaps a friend of your sons? any other male adults around?

If it was a child it's more likely they would have got bored with it in 3 months, they would be more likely to put stuff on a profile (fave music/transformers etc), its more likely you would have noticed.

Any babysitters/BIL around?

You must be able to get some idea from times of messages?

What's the website?