to confront DS/DD/DH? [sad]

[EmbarrassedNConfused]

A website was up today, some teen dating site I happened upon on the family laptop. Whoever last used it hadn't logged out and I admit - I snooped in the messages.

There were tons of mails from boys and girls to either DS (11), DD (10), or DH (I know, weird and I wouldn't normally suspect him but I think the kids are too little for this??) about wanting to shag all night, give/get oral, meet up when the house is quiet, etc.

Who - if anyone - do I confront about this? I feel really concerned and confused.

What's the user name - does that give you any clue? I would think there's every chance it's your ds to be honest - and suspect it's quite normal, if worrying!

Sorry, I think I'm being thick.

There were emails addressed to your DH, DD and DS but all to one username?

can i ask which website? i have teenage girls who use a fair few teenage sites.

Username is incredibly general actually, so doesn't give any sort of hint. Message times are early evening, could be either DS or DD as they both get on around then. Probably not DH as he's normally helping me with younger ones.

The boys and girls thing confuses me also. Neither DS nor DD seem sexually interested, neither of them ask us questions/make comments.

Licky no not at all, none of them are addressed to anyone. I'm just trying to figure out who is using the site.

Am I allowed to say the site on here?

My dd is 10, nearly 11, and she's certainly too young for that type of knowledge/language.

I assume all the messages for dd,ds,dh are actually meant for just one person? Can you see both the sent/received messages?

Which website is it?

Who ever is doing this it needs confronting - is there any further investigating you can do before speaking to them?

None of us told our parents about our interest in sex when we were 10/11!

Of course you can say what the website is.

the messages are from both boys and girls? is that right? are your dc close? could they BOTH be on there together??

I think I'd confront the Dc's first. You'll most likely tell if it was them by their reactions/answers or if they are telling fibs.
Then, if they are innocent and you can rule them out, then I'd confront Dh.

AJ Understandable! But wouldn't have thought DD especially was ready for this, possibly DS as he does have a few older friends, etc.

I'm not sure what other 'investigating' I can do too, I don't know the inner workings of these sites so not sure how to get into other bits of it. If I'm allowed to say the site, I'd like to ask if anyone (or anyone's kids!) have experience of it.

Sorry lots of x-posts. The site is 'mylol.net'

Anybody know anything about it? DS & DD are very close, wouldn't have thought they'd share this though?!

Surely you can tell who it was by what time the sent emails were sent.

?

The phrase "meet when the house is quiet" stands out to me. That doesn't sound like something my nearly 10 yr old would consider really, but then again, if it was your dh he would have to be very cold to even suggest meeting at your family home for sex.

Lord it sounds like an awful conundrum.

I would do a few things actually.

1. I would look at the times and search the internet history as well. If the history has been deleted would your children know how to do that?
2. I would print off the conversations and put them somewhere known only to you for the time being.
3. I would then talk to dh first, ie as others have suggested; "I think we need to talk to the kids, look at what has popped up, this is concerning me." and see what the reaction is.
4. Google the username, see what comes up.

You say the messages were to someone in your house. Were there any from your laptop to other site users?

OK, Gotcha.

Agree with the others my DS1 is 12 and I have no doubt that given half a chance he's be peering at all sorts of stuff.

Clamp right down on the permissions.

I think it is more likely to be one of your DC. I would imagine, if the worst caase scenario were to be true, the last thing your DH would do would be leave the site open and logged in. I very much doubt that he wouldn't think to at least delete the history/cookies if he really was sending explicit messages to young children.

I think back to what I knew at 10/11 years old and actually, am quite horrified about what I did know! My parents would not have had a clue that my friends and I spoke of little else!

My nephew is 11 and I've seen his facebook things and some are very rude. 10 and 11 is unfortunately not too young. Talk to your dh first about how best to approach the children and then ban them from using the internet at home.
From what they've been talking about -"shagging all night etc" it sounds much more like kids than an adult.

I can not find any sent messages. Don't know if I'm just not looking in the right place or what. DS and DD both get online after tea so it could be either of them. As I said I don't think it's DH based on times of the messages, although these messages are being received maybe that makes a difference?

This is why children should be supervised when on the Internet, sorry but had to be said!, and also to have parent control on their also.

All you can do is ask now, but dont go in all guns blazing, it will only make matters worse!

Blimey! nearly had a heart attack then! Looked up the site and thought Ds had an account! he hasn't, but it looked like it the way it came up at the log in.

You say they are not logged out, what is the user name, can you see the registration details and the email address given?

Oh and...fucking hell. That site is absolutely shocking.

Little we do have a parental controls block on the computer, no sexual sites are even able to be typed into google or anything. But this site isn't really a sex site so I guess that's how it skipped under the radar?