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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

dining next door and leaving kids alone

111 replies

princessparty · 24/01/2010 17:26

Just a debate really as I'm not sure what my opinion on this ,I feeel very uneasy but can't justify why.
Couple invite couple next door round for dinner who leave 3 preschool kids home alone asleep but within range of baby monitor.Ok or not ?

OP posts:
cece · 24/01/2010 17:28

I know people who have done it. Personally I couldn't do it. Would be too worried about fires and the like.

rubetube · 24/01/2010 17:29

i'd say not ok.... Purely 'just in case'

Madaline McCann's parents could have done with asking on MN!

Cyb · 24/01/2010 17:29

No, kids too young

janeite · 24/01/2010 17:30

Not okay.....Ever.

bearcrumble · 24/01/2010 17:31

I don't think it is ok. It's not safe. You need to be there with the kids to know what's going on. The children need to know that mum and/or dad are just downstairs for their security and peace of mind. If an accident happened it could be silent and it could happen really quickly. No, I'd never do that.

SixtyFootDoll · 24/01/2010 17:36

I wouldnt

BigBadMummy · 24/01/2010 17:41

Nope.

Never in a million years with pre-schoolers.

Original poster
princessparty · 24/01/2010 17:41

I feel the same (it is a relative whi is doing this and I would like to say something but can't logically justify it).I mean if you were asleep in bed ,it would be the same thing wouldn't it ?

OP posts:
rubyslippers · 24/01/2010 17:43

not ok

and nothing to do with MM

things like a child waking up and being upset/vomiting etc

FabIsGoingToBeFabIn2010 · 24/01/2010 17:45

I wouldn't do it.

Can't say f you being unreasonable as you haven't said if you would do it or not.

Their kids, their consequences to have to deal with.

StealthPolarBear · 24/01/2010 17:45

no way, although not sure if i would if they were older?
pp if you were asleep in bed you'd hear someone opening a window / a child falling out of bed. you wouldn't have to go out of one front door & unlock another to get to them.

SixtyFootDoll · 24/01/2010 17:47

Its not the same as being in bed at all.
I am a really laid back parent but this to me is not acceptable.
Pre schoolers can get up , wander the house , let themselves out of the front door....

staranise · 24/01/2010 17:50

We had exactly this scenario last week (3 preschool children, dinner at the next door neighbours) except I would not have dreamt of leaving the children alone in the house - what happens if there is a fire? Or, even more likely, one of the children wakes up/has a nightmare/wets the bed/ throws up etc etc - none of which will necessarily be picked up on a monitor.

PureAsTheColdDrivenSnow · 24/01/2010 17:52

MM mentioned in the first couple of responses! that has to be an all time record

Some people are happy to do this, others not. Depends on the set-up and how quickly you could get next door (eg a friend had a house that had a gate between their gardens, so are able to get back upstairs to their own place almost as quickly when they are next door.

mamazon · 24/01/2010 17:54

I dont think they ABU for doing it but i personally wouldnt.

hey will argue that there will be a wall between them the same as there is if they are in the next room or downstairs.

each to their own i guess.

onlyjoinedforoffers · 24/01/2010 17:56

i wouldnt do it

onlyjoinedforoffers · 24/01/2010 17:58

my washing machine alsmost went on fire today totally out of the Blue terrible buring smell all of a sudden a monitor would not pick that up thank God we were at home

MrsToffeeCrisp · 24/01/2010 18:03

No way. Totally unacceptable. It's all ifs and buts but if something terrible did happen then dinner with the neighbours wouldn't have been worth it.

Not worth the risk and TBH I wouldn't be able to relax and enjoy myself in that situation anyway.

cory · 24/01/2010 18:08

I wouldn't. And I'm of the jolly no-nonsense let-your-children-look-after-themselves-and-learn-independence school. But not when they're that little.

Spillage21 · 24/01/2010 18:15

But a baby monitor picks up everything - you could hear someone shuffling around out of bed, being sick, crying, a fire alarm going off....

DoingTheBestICan · 24/01/2010 18:18

No absolutely no way on God's earth would i ever do this,no,no,no!!

BettyButterknife · 24/01/2010 18:19

Some neighbours of ours did this about 5 years ago. They lived over the road from us, they suggested it (we didn't have kids at the time) and they just had one DD who was probably about 6-9 months at the time.

I didn't think anything of it at the time, other than to be slightly annoyed at how obsessed with the monitor they seemed. But this was before MM, and before I had a child myself.

I see it in a very different light now, and wouldn't do it myself.

fortyplus · 24/01/2010 18:21

I'm sure I have posted before about friends who did this. Hang on a min...

RichardGereandtheGuineaPigs · 24/01/2010 18:23

When hell freezes over......

fortyplus · 24/01/2010 18:24

That's just made me think of a funny thing...

A friend of mine went to her next door neighbour's party leaving her 3 children tucked up in bed in her room at home. She took the baby monitor to the party so that she could hear if they woke up.

She & her husband got back from the party, put the children in their own beds and got down to a 'romantic' session of drunken, noisy sex.

Imagine their embarrassment the next morning when they realised that the baby monitor was still switched on in their neighbour's lounge!