dining next door and leaving kids alone

[princessparty]

Just a debate really as I'm not sure what my opinion on this ,I feeel very uneasy but can't justify why.
Couple invite couple next door round for dinner who leave 3 preschool kids home alone asleep but within range of baby monitor.Ok or not ?

Nope here.

Smoke alarms can be faulty, as can baby monitors.

And yes even if they aren't you may be able to hear the DCs move etc but think of what can happen in the time that you get home and unlock the door and get to them. Just not worth it IMO. Having seen how quickly they can move when they want to then no way.

Wasn't there a case years ago where a toddler had woken up in the middle of the night and wondered out into the road and was killed?

definetly not !!!!
never ever ever......

How do children wander out of the house if the front door is double locked?

My eldest is nearly 3 and he would understand if I told him I were next door - and if he was wondering around looking for me then he would be calling. I test the smoke alarm every week and wouldn't dream of leaving the washing machine on (never leave anything on when I go out at all - been warned against it)

ponygirl - that sounds dreadful, how traumatic. Do you know what started the fire? If your children had been upstairs asleep and you had been in your living room rather than next door, would you have reached them? I hope you have an alarm upstairs now!

I must admit - most of the time I get a babysitter when we go next door - but I have done this before - if it's a drinks party rather than a dinner party - as I can check every 15 mins without annoying the hostess. I have also used listening services in a hotel dining room- but my children never wake up - so I chose to take what I see as a very small risk. I can understand why some people wouldn't do it - they see the risk as higher - so not worth taking. I wouldn't judge your neighbours - it's their choice to assess the risk, make decisions and then live with the consequences.

Ladybiscuit - Thankfully I was in the uk with ds2, I think if we were in living room with the tv on as normal (quite loud) would maybe be another story as the loft was next to kids bedroom. All bedrooms on the same level as the loft which was actually being converted to ds1s bedroom at the time.

3 experts in finding the source of fires couldnt tell us 'exactly' the cause, but it was the electricity. Apparently could have been smoldering for days, but when it actually caught was so incredibly fast.

I didnt mean to come on here and rave on about our experience, it is just to warn people how we all think these bad things only happen to other people, and it is rare, but it does happen, and how could we as parents cope with it if we have gone for dinner next door and something terrble happened. Is it nt easier just to take the children wth you, even if you only plonk them in front of the tv for a couple of hours, surely that is better than leaving very young children who do not even have a chance of rescuing themselves?

Gosh how horrendous for you ponygirl I suppose that if your children were upstairs, it could have been a tragedy either way but if you were next door you would always feel that you might have got there in time if you'd been in the house. A salutory tale

ponygirl your DDDDH is a hero. Thank God everyone survived!
I wouldn't go next door with children of that age, no. Just because I wouldn't be able to relax.

We've done this twice but as for most things in life I would say it depends on the child, house, circumstances. There is no firm rule for us.
We live in a terraced house - our neighbours living room is closer to my sons room than my office at the back of the house. We know from many years of listening to each others children that the walls are paper thin. We have hard wired smoke detectors which are regularly tested and in all the correct places, and can be heard from half a mile away. The baby monitor works, we have a fairly independent young soul who is a very heavy sleeper.
Our front door is on a high level latch....and is the only door he can't open himself. We regularly take turns to check on him and generally its no different than if we were having drinks at ours. We take turns because they have kids too and its too disruptive for the kids to always stay up. I wouldn't do it if our LO was unwell or out of sorts tho.
It works for us and we feel happy with it because we have weighed up the pros and cons, risks and reality and think that its ok in our situation.

Nope wouldn't do that.
What if there was a brek in? A fire? the children wake up and aside from being scared to death of being alone they had an accident or messed with electrics etc
Social services would investigate and make a report about the parents which would follow them around for life.
irresponsible and selfish x

I don't think what you're describing is unreasonable or risky. If the children are normally v bad sleepers, always jumping out of bed then you might opt to stay home. But if they're good sleepers, combine baby monitor with popping back next door every hour to see everyone's OK and that the place hasn't burned down around their ears. It's no different to sitting outside in a garden having a BBQ whilst children are asleep in beds upstairs.

At the risk of getting sucked in to a year old thread, this is yet another example of just how appallingly badly we teach and understand risk in this country...