Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To make my children stay in bed all day when they are ill?

136 replies

heQet · 20/01/2010 15:17

Or more specifically, when they claim to be so ill that they can't go to school, groan and moan and flop about but miraculously summon the energy to jump about after 10am?

So I have implemented a new policy - if you are Too Ill to go to school you are Too Ill to get out of bed.

ds1 is the first victim of the new policy and is most put out. Every time I go up to check on him, he gives me big puppy dog eyes. I fear I am in danger of crumbling under the pressure!

go on, sock it to me, I can take it.

OP posts:
GetOrfMoiLand · 20/01/2010 15:21

No, you're right.

If dd really is ill, she can stay in bed all day. No phone, no laptop, but she can watch the telly.

I made this rule after letting her stay off, and then she would lol around on the sofa all day having a duvet day malingering.

larks35 · 20/01/2010 15:22

On the rare occasion I was off school sick as a child this was always the case and I usually was so ill I slept most of the day. YANBU IMO, stick with it!

southeastastra · 20/01/2010 15:22

but being forced to lie in bed even if you are ill is depressing

Bumblingbovine · 20/01/2010 15:22

No that seems fine to me

A friend of mine told me her policy on allowing children to stay off school and she has three clear criteria:

Any vomiting - they can stay home
Temperature of 1 deg or more above normal - they can stay home

Anything else specifically banned by school - eg conjunctivitis

All other complaints - They go to shcool

I kind of like the simplicity of it really. There is something you can physically see or measure. A bit harsh but simple.

Lubyloo · 20/01/2010 15:23

YANBU. My mother used to have the same rule and we always got certificates for 100% attendance at school!

bellavita · 20/01/2010 15:23

YANBU

Original poster
heQet · 20/01/2010 15:31

I don't want your smelly old sock!

OP posts:
liliputlady · 20/01/2010 15:31

I don't know the answer but your post made me laugh and think of Nanny McPhee!

As an adult, I can be poorly enough to be off work but wouldn't want to stay in bed all day - I have to be REALLY ill to take to my bed, so possibly a bit U, yes.

ImSoNotTelling · 20/01/2010 15:37

YANBU at all.

That's how it was when I was a girl - no telly either. But then we weren't allowed to stay off school unless we were really really ill (doctors children syndrome).

The mantra was "if you're well enough to get out of bed you're well enough to go to school".

For years when I was off sick from work, if I went and lay on teh sofa and put the telly on I'd feel horribly guilty

I also recently spoke to a friend (one of my best friends at school) and she said she got in a lot of trouble when she entered the world of work. Her mum always let her stay off if she wasn't really geeling up to it - so ill or coldn't be arsed or whatever - and sometimes would take her shopping in the afternoon if she was "feeling better". Roll on work and she kept getting in huge trouble until she finally realised that you weren't supposed to take days off simply because you didn't really fancy going to work...

Original poster
heQet · 20/01/2010 15:47

I think I used to employ her, ImSo!

OP posts:
peacocks · 20/01/2010 15:49

Definitely, I completely agree! Off school = bed no screen. If they are ill, they need it. If they are faking, they will be bored stupid and hopefully won't try that one again.

Batteryhuman · 20/01/2010 15:50

If you can eat your breakfast you go to school. If not you stay in bed, no TV etc.

AnyFucker · 20/01/2010 15:52

yep, we have that rule in our house

too ill for school=stay in bed

they can read or even watch tv...but no dvd's, no laptop, no phone

they come downstairs to eat but then straight back up the apples

we have very ittle sick leave in our house

it's a personal bugbear of mine...mollycoddled children kept off school and pandered to for the tiniest sniffle do not a responsible adult make...

Paolosgirl · 20/01/2010 15:59

No, I have that rule here. After they have gone back to bed and slept for a while, they are allowed later in the day to come downstairs and lie on the sofa under a duvet to watch a bit of TV, but if they start demanding food, fighting with each other and generally showing signs of wellness they are up and put to work. I have been known to take them into school later in the day when I realise they've pulled a fast one - they hate that!

PixieOnaLeaf · 20/01/2010 16:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

peacocks · 20/01/2010 16:06

broken limbs are different they are an excuse for a bit of unexpected fun

differentID · 20/01/2010 16:07

nope- my mum used it on me and it worked well.

I had all books taken from my room and tht was that.

icedgems · 20/01/2010 16:07

i was always allowed 24 hours. (i.e. one rare day) if i was not back at school within 24 hours minimum i was ill enough to see a doctor, more often than not though it had to be worthy of hospital!!! fortunately only had one illness (chicken pox) that you are banned from school from and that was at age 3.
I follow similar logic with my kids now, and make the time so boring at home, that by lunch time they are normally informing me they will be at school the following day.
Maybe harsh but worked.

peacocks · 20/01/2010 16:07

ok I am filthy mean, I am a no screen if ill mother

purpleduck · 20/01/2010 16:08

Depends how old they are
when they were little I would let them stay off if they felt mildly unwell - sore throat etc.

Now if they are ill, and don't seem obviously ill, they still get up, get dressed and walk to school with their siblng. Generally they go one way or another on the walk, so I can either take them back home or push them in.

MY bugbears re sickness are:
Children who are obviously too ill to be at school, yet they are there with calpol/whatever

and adults who are very ill, and still drag themselves to work to share the germs...why? are they expecting a parade?

brightspark2 · 20/01/2010 16:09

My mum used to tell me unless I had a temperature or a plaster cast I was going to school. My 12yo gets electronic grounding, i.e. books and bed only. No Wii, no DS, no TV. He's not often off school.

differentID · 20/01/2010 16:11

purpleduck- in answer to your last - it's because they get made to feel really shitty if they do phone in sick or they aren't allowed to go home because the boss can't get cover or they are "letting the team down"

Listening to a manager moan about people who are off sick sticks with you and you don't want to be the one moaned about.

Blondeshavemorefun · 20/01/2010 16:14

im with fucker on this one - if too ill to go to school, then def to ill to watch a box all day (eye strain lol)

unless have a raging temp, spots or S&D my dc go to school

so yes they stay in bed, maybe allowed to come down in afternoon to watch a small (hour) bit of tv but def no phones/ds/internet etc

CaroJo · 20/01/2010 16:16

What about children who feel relatively ok but have something contagious? Sending them to school then would surely be unfair towards the other children, no?

Paolosgirl · 20/01/2010 16:18

Not always true though different - there are plenty who pride themselves on never taking a day off even though there are no penalties for an appropriate level of sickness (iykwim), and yet still come in and infect everyone else. They are usually childess, or have children but also have parents etc who can watch their kids at the drop of a hat when the bugs do the family rounds.

It's a happy medium - don't stay off with a sniffle, but equally DON'T send your child in with a bug which will then spread round the class (and the teacher), and cause more parents to have to take time off work.

Swipe left for the next trending thread