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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To make my children stay in bed all day when they are ill?

136 replies

heQet · 20/01/2010 15:17

Or more specifically, when they claim to be so ill that they can't go to school, groan and moan and flop about but miraculously summon the energy to jump about after 10am?

So I have implemented a new policy - if you are Too Ill to go to school you are Too Ill to get out of bed.

ds1 is the first victim of the new policy and is most put out. Every time I go up to check on him, he gives me big puppy dog eyes. I fear I am in danger of crumbling under the pressure!

go on, sock it to me, I can take it.

OP posts:
Blondeshavemorefun · 20/01/2010 16:20

contagious is different, obv wouldnt send someone to school if contagious

so yes if not pulling a sickie then can have a bit of tv/pampering etc

CaroJo · 20/01/2010 16:21

That's exactly what I mean Paolosgirl. I know so many people who come into work no matter what and after a couple of days, everyone else has it. Not fair and very selfish in my opinion...

icedgems · 20/01/2010 16:23

controversial statement warning
I believe that parents who allow their children to stay home, if just feeling slightly under the weather, are creating adults who phone in at the earliest opportunity to have a day off.
But if properly ill, or contagious, then of course it's better that people are at home.

PixieOnaLeaf · 20/01/2010 16:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

AliGrylls · 20/01/2010 16:27

I think you are completely right.

I find when I am properly ill the last thing I want to do is to get out of bed and I am sure if children are ill the same rule applies. Don't have any school age children at the mom so maybe you should ask me in a few years - but in theory I agree with you.

ImSoNotTelling · 20/01/2010 16:40

I think it has already started. With the big snow I took DD to preschool as usual (pushchair and toddler up hill) - not easy but not impossibly hard IYSWIM.

When I saw the neighbours later they said they had seen the tracks and thought I was bonkers It hadn't crossed my mind that DD would miss a morning of preschool simply because of a few inches of snow And all she does there is glueing and sticking...

Start as you mean to go on I say!

EVye · 20/01/2010 16:45

My DD was off school for a day last week. She had agonising tummy pains. Literally couldnt get up. It wasnt constipation or S&D. I have no idea what caused it (although am worrying about appendix currently) but she was fine by about 11.00.

I phoned the school and told them I wanted to send her back in for the afternoon and they all but told me to get lost as it could be start of bug etc. So I had a hyper DD and I let her watch tv....

HinnyPet · 20/01/2010 16:47

Quite agree with ImSoNotTelling, I did just the same a couple of weeks ago pushing DS in pushchair through snow filled streets dragging a complaining DD to pre school. Til it shut cos of snow.

However a satisfactory number of calories must have been burned

TheDevilWearsPrimark · 20/01/2010 16:49

MyDC are in reception/ preschool

If they are ill I make a bed on the sofa and they stay there all day.

Fayrazzled · 20/01/2010 16:49

My son is off school today- temperature and barking cough- and I've let him do as he pleases. Lounge on the sofa watching Cbeebies; have a play; have a cuddle by turns. I am sure he is sufficiently under the weather that it wouldn't be a valuable use of anyone's time to be at school today though.

If I'm ill, which isn't often, I do feel poorly enough not to be at work but lying prone in bed all day can make one feel worse. There is a middle ground without being a malingerer I think.

ImSoNotTelling · 20/01/2010 16:50
compo · 20/01/2010 16:52

my work has really cracked down on us calling in sik

it is a pita

It means people come in and srpead their germs and then we all have it but no one wants to be off as the others struggled in

peacocks · 20/01/2010 16:55

Lying in bed can make one feel worse?

When you rest, the body is using all its energy fighting the infection. It can make you feel bored, I suppose but it can't make you iller. If mine have been really poorly they have an extra day to convalesce. Spent in bed . They are rarely ill. And they don't have Calpol at the drop of a hat either -- symptoms make you want to sleep and rest more which is ALL GOOD.

compo · 20/01/2010 16:59

i can no longer stay in bed all day
it makes my back seize up
it is a pita

peacocks · 20/01/2010 17:00

well you know what that's kinda different

southeastastra · 20/01/2010 17:01

i think the only time i stay in bed is when i have a sick bug with a temperature. coughts and colds and sore throats usually just amble round the house.

would be agonising to just lay in bed so certainly wouldn't expect my children to do that! and they're rarely off school

whatever is best you do, wouldn't judge others on their choice

BigTillyMint · 20/01/2010 17:08

This has always been our policy.

I can count the number of days the DC have had off sick on one hand

But then DH and I are never off sick either - I have had 8 days off sick in 23 years

Chulita · 20/01/2010 17:09

My mum used to do this to us - no TV, no games, mind you none of us ever managed to fake illness, she used to send us to school even if we were a bit sick - she's a tough cookie! If we were really sick though she'd make us a nest in the garden (Madagascar so it was usually hot) and ply us with home-made ice-cream. But I think I was only sick about 4 times by my mum's standards!

BigTillyMint · 20/01/2010 17:11

That's because I don't get sick - I do not go in like a martyr and spread germs around.

And I put that down to my mothers less than basic cleanliness..... but that doesn't explain DH as MIL is a cleaner

So you are definitely not being unreasonable!

seeker · 20/01/2010 17:22

If I know a child is actually ill then they don't have to spend the day in bed - they only have to if they are malingering. The don't malinger very often!

Original poster
heQet · 20/01/2010 17:25

Phew. No beating with big sticks

Guess what? He is, in his words "all better" and wants to go to school tomorrow.

OP posts:
dublinmom · 20/01/2010 17:27

My 5 year old DD has been home 3 days with chicken pox -- loads of spots but not really ill so very very bored. Me too.

It's bad enough being stuck at home, i can't imagine making her stay in bed all week.

What did you do about chicken pox? Contagious but not really 'ill'.

stealthsquiggle · 20/01/2010 17:29

OP - I'm with you. If it is their idea that they are too ill for school then they stay in bed. If, however, it was my/school's idea (e.g. waiting out the 48hours after D&V) then they can do as they please.

This was my mother's policy and I can't remember 'pulling a sickie' more than once or twice - and TBH, in hindsight, I probably was ill then, since the whole staying in bed thing was fine by me - no TV either, just books.

peacocks · 20/01/2010 17:31

Tbh once the fever has broken and the illness is more or less over with the spots drying up, if it was me I would say bed for an extra day but after that, just quiet time at home. With naps And I can understand why others would say no bed at all if they aren't "cooking" any more.

AnyFucker · 20/01/2010 17:31

dublinmom, the pox is one of the exclusions