To make my children stay in bed all day when they are ill?

[heQet]

Or more specifically, when they claim to be so ill that they can't go to school, groan and moan and flop about but miraculously summon the energy to jump about after 10am?

So I have implemented a new policy - if you are Too Ill to go to school you are Too Ill to get out of bed.

ds1 is the first victim of the new policy and is most put out. Every time I go up to check on him, he gives me big puppy dog eyes. I fear I am in danger of crumbling under the pressure!

go on, sock it to me, I can take it.

Gosh I feel really sorry for her and every sympathy for you. You must be v torn. I suppose it does seem too easy for other people to say what should be done and how to handle it. (just out of interest, and very aware that this is unwanted advice, my daughter has a lower immunity than the rest of us so I give her zinc, which helps a lot too. sorry -- I'm sure you get unwelcome and "helpful" interfering all the time from people who know nothing about joint disorders and so on. but something is stopping me from not posting this! I will be an appalling MIL clearly.)

Don't worry about the zinc advice, upandrunning, that's very kind of you. The blood tests done so far did show up a lack of folic acid, so she is being given that. It is possible her immunity is simply pulled down by the enormous effort of holding her body together (hypermobile).

But I just hate to think how much of my handling of her problems was down to my image of myself- surely if I was a down to earth mum, I shouldn't be having a child like that, therefore she simply couldn't be allowed to be like that. So I tried to put my foot down.

Don't beat yourself up, you were always doing what you thought was the best at every turn. I know what you mean though, with my first (is she your eldest?) I thought I would be the kind of mum who wouldn't let it change my life, and tried to live out this principle in a way that still makes me sad for my son fourteen years on.

I wish all the best for your dd and hope she starts to feel stronger soon.

I find this really difficult my oldest only goes to pre school but has she has CF she goes when she is poorly just not really poorly if that make sence or she could spend long period of time off
But my youngest who does not have cf will be treated in the same way

And its normally sofa and books for us maybe a dvd in afternoon

My hubbie has to go work when ill as they use this
bradford factor at his work

Loudlass, ruby, wickerman, does it annoy you if parents send kids in to school with sore throats, coughs and colds but no temperature?

My little boy was very poorly almost a year ago and even he didn't sleep all day - it was probably for about 50% of the day on and off. Do you really think it's fair when they've woken up from being asleep to still make them lie on the sofa or in bed doing nothing? He was miserable so I let him watch TV and listen to music, I read to him and I played with some toys that didn't require getting off the sofa.

Have only skim read the thread but would any of you ban books or CDs?

I have dragged myself into work when I've been poorly (bad cough/cold) and it is true it takes you so much longer to get over it but they do make you feel really guilty if you phone in. I didn't go in Tuesday and I felt really poorly. Had one of those colds that is semi-fluey and gives you an absolute banging head ache and really painful eyes. I slept for most of the day but got up in the afternoon watching TV and mumsnetting. I literally couldn't have stayed in bed any longer. I only had Tuesday cos had already booked it off to take DS to a birthday party. Otherwise I probably would have made myself go in.

I now realise my (NHS) workplace uses the Bradford Factor! My line manager told me (and 5 others) about 2 years ago that the Big Boss had told her to write to us 6 'warning' us about our absenteeism, which, in my case, amounted to 6 individual 'days' of between an HOUR and a day off apiece, but none connected. Luckily my line manager said she'd 'mention' it to us, not formalise it as I would have been LIVID seeing as there were at least 5 people in my work area at that time who had each been off for at least weeks on end if not months BUT because it was just 'one instance' of sickness, no 'warning letter'.

Bear in mind my bosses can and do -ahem- 'work from home' regularly!

As for people going into work whilst ill (which the Bradford Factor encourages) THAT might be how and where I caught the flu-like cold thing that has made my life really miserable since Xmas Eve. I know pretty much whom I caught if off, too! I have taken one 'day' (3.5 hours) off and left 4 hours early with it since Xmas Eve when I reached that 'I'm going to make a life-threatening mistake if I stay' point. Just let them write to me!

My two sons know that if they are off school ill there will be no computers, no phones, no X box. They have to lie on the sofa under a duvet. Sometimes TV on, sometimes not. I have a lovely memory of my childhood of being spoiled and fussed over like this when I was ill. I like my boys to feel this too. Also a chance to spend some time together.

Have only read first page of posts, so apologies if this point has already been made.

I think, no, YANBU if the child has flu or something that really does floor them.

However, DS's headteacher doesn't like kids being in school even with the sniffles. A bit of vigorous sneezing, or any vomiting or diarrhoea in the last 24 hours, and they have to stay home. And of course the same goes for conjunctivitis. But none of these things (bar a really bad gastric bug) makes an adult take to their bed for a whole day, so why should a child have to?

I think YABU if you expect a child who's ill in this way to stay in bed all day when they're not allowed to go to school but feel only a bit below par.

I give them homework to do if they're well enough to get out of bed, then they can read a book or I'll find some interesting exercise on the internet for them to complete.

Usually I bung a dose of Nurofen in them and send them off anyway!!

It takes a lot to get one over on me, I invented most of the tricks when I was their age and watched my brother come up with the rest!

I must be the exception to this rule then! I was allowed off if I was under the weather (big problems at school with bullying too, which led to mum keeping me off on certain occasions) was allowed to do as I pleased but not allowed to leave the house.

My uncle who lives with us is disabled so I think the logic was, keep me off for mild/moderate stuff, because if I'm out and pick something worse up, and give it to him we could be in big trouble.

I didn't miss a day through illness in 2 years of college, and last year (Year 1 of uni) was gutted I had to miss a day or two because of a stinking head cold. I went to bed at half 6 one night after coming home from a field trip to Keswick, I didn't surface til 7.30 the next morning. Went to uni on the Monday, had to take Tues/Weds off due to a throat so sore I couldn't speak or swallow that well.

This year at uni I've not missed any time off, and even drag myself to my work experience at an ice rink every week, even though I've had about 5 colds and a mild chesty cough since September!

I am mad!

Its the same in our house! If you are too ill for school you stay in bed all day!!