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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To make my children stay in bed all day when they are ill?

136 replies

heQet · 20/01/2010 15:17

Or more specifically, when they claim to be so ill that they can't go to school, groan and moan and flop about but miraculously summon the energy to jump about after 10am?

So I have implemented a new policy - if you are Too Ill to go to school you are Too Ill to get out of bed.

ds1 is the first victim of the new policy and is most put out. Every time I go up to check on him, he gives me big puppy dog eyes. I fear I am in danger of crumbling under the pressure!

go on, sock it to me, I can take it.

OP posts:
stealthsquiggle · 20/01/2010 17:31

dublinmom - that would fall into the second category - off school because school won't have them (contagious) - so they could do as they pleased (within reason )

NotAnOtter · 20/01/2010 17:32

heqet good on you

stealthsquiggle · 20/01/2010 17:33

Heqet - I think that means you won

overmydeadbody · 20/01/2010 17:34

Unless my DS has had really bad asthma at night (in which case I keep him off school) then I have this policy.

If it's asthma he's off school for he doesn't have to stay in bed.

freshcleanwashing · 20/01/2010 17:39

My son is 4 years old and he is off school for a chest infection and fever he has also been told he has asthma, I have said he is to stay in bed but is allowed to come downstairs for meal times.
I will stick with them staying in their rooms if ill, and they will not be allowed internet,wii etc because if you are ill your ill and thats that its not to be rewarded with these luxuries.
I would never send my children with upset stomaches, or anything contigious but they will go if they have a slight cold and I think very carefully about my child's attendance but will strictly monitor each individual sickness.

susiey · 20/01/2010 17:41

I am nurses daughter as a result I maybe had 1 week off school in my whole time (5-16)
I was there.

I think if they're sick with a temp then stay in bed

bugs and contagious then they can be up but not annoying me.my daughter is prone to conjunctivitus not her fault but doesn't make you feel so ill you stay in bed all day

sniffles go to school!

aokay · 20/01/2010 17:49

we follow all sensible suggestions here - no physical signs - go to school. School have sent my oldest home because "she looks a bit pale".........thanks school. Caucasian child - pale colouring but fit as a flea. School did this twice and told me off when I said no temp not coming home........

piratecat · 20/01/2010 17:55

well dd had a sore throat and headache yesterday, but i got tough and gave her calpol and said she was to go. There was no usual feverish, if she's hot to touch or flushed then i keep her home, as it's just going to spread. She had a bad tummy and griping pains in bed last night, and complained of a bangingheadache, so i kept her home today. Obv some rotten 24 hour thing, she kept crying out with stabbing pains in her tummy. I still had to think twice about it tho.

I made her stay in bed till about 1.00, then she said she felt hungry, so came down and had a bit of toast. I allowed her to stay on the sofa under her duvet.

TheFallenMadonna · 20/01/2010 18:58

I don't make mine stay in bed. They don't have much time off. I don't think either of them have said they're too ill to go to school, even if they plainly are. They've always been surprised when I've told them they're staying at home. And if they're ill they can have a bit of cossetting with a quilt on the sofa. That's fine with me.

flyingcloud · 20/01/2010 19:34

Do people really stay home from work for coughs, colds and sore throats?

I would think if you are well enough to get out of bed you go to work (same for children).

pointysaysrelax · 20/01/2010 19:38

If my dc are ill I don't have to make them stay in bed or on teh couch. That's what they automatically do.

No work-shy layabouts in this house

southeastastra · 20/01/2010 19:41

i stayed home with a sore throat last year, was evil! and i stayed in bed

mollybob · 20/01/2010 19:43

depends a bit on the child

DD hates to miss school and tends to underplay her symptoms and has been known to go in when she maybe shouldn't. I don't mind her watching some TV lying on the couch if she's off as I know she isn't malingering

DS is a chancer who looks for any opportunity to stay home so is allowed no screen time when off school

Hulababy · 20/01/2010 19:43

Even at my worst a couple of weeks ago, when ill with pnuemonia I couldn't have spent all day in bed. I managed to drag my body to the sofa with a TV for compny, ad I got DH to bring memy latop and bed type table for upstairs.

TheFallenMadonna · 20/01/2010 19:46

But don't you know when she is chancing it? My DC have always gone to school unless they have either been throwing up or have a proper fever. Neither of which is easy to fake. Still, they're young yet. They've time to learn how to pull the wool over my eyed I suppose.

Hulababy · 20/01/2010 19:46

By flyingcloud Wed 20-Jan-10 19:34:38
Do people really stay home from work for coughs, colds and sore throats?

I would think if you are well enough to get out of bed you go to work (same for children).

Disagree. I am off work (3rd week) currently recovering from pnuemonia, from which I was hospitalised. I am now well enough to potter aout. I am well enough to go to a friends fr coffee. I am well enough to sit in a hairdressers and have my hair done (my treat for Friday). I am not yet well enough to be at work with a class full of 5/6yos. I am hopin o be well enough for work next week - I see GP tomorrow to see if he is signing me back as fit to work.

piscesmoon · 20/01/2010 19:50

I never found it a problem-I could tell if they were ill. It was helped by the fact that they wouldn't have wanted to miss if they were OK. I went by eating-if they were eating normally there wasn't a lot wrong.

muggglewump · 20/01/2010 20:05

I've never made DD stay in bed if she's off. It's miserable enough to be ill without being banished to your bedroom. I make DD a bed on the couch and then I'm there for company.

The TV is on and she tends to sleep on and off.

She's never pretended to be ill yet.

Original poster
heQet · 20/01/2010 20:09

ooh. we are on the discussion of the day list! [proud]

OP posts:
Bumblingbovine · 20/01/2010 20:17

I think saying that you should stay at home if you are contagious is not very useful. How on earth do you know if it is particularly contagious? A normal bad cold is pretty contagious and can make you feel quite ill but most people don't stay off work for a cold.

I run a professional qualification course and the exams associated with it. During the last set of exams I had a rotten cold/bug and felt pretty exhausted. I could have taken a couple of days off and told the candidates, all of whom paid a lot of money to take the exams (some of whom had flown in fron Nigeria and the US especially) that the exams were cancelled or I could have got on with it. None of my colleagues could have taken over at such short notice. The only option was go in or cancel the tests on the first day as I only really got ill the night before.

I probably did spread some germs around but tbh staying home just wasn't an option unless I was dying.

Often the most contagious stage of a virus is before the worst symptoms set in. That is why I like my frind's rules which go by measurable/observable things like vomiting or a temperature.

That is all you can really go on, otherwise it is just based on what each of us think constitutes a bad contagious illness and that differs from person to person.

BabyGiraffes · 20/01/2010 20:49

My mum let me stay home from school far too much which has oddly made me tougher than I should be on dd. Sent her to pre school in December when she clearly wasn't well (very runny nose, very bad cough quite suddenly, drank gallons and refused food...) - by the afternoon she had a temp of over 40 and was diagnosed with swine flu...
May go a bit easier on her in the future

fernie3 · 20/01/2010 20:52

My oldest is only 5 at the moment and I keep her home if she has any sort of temp,sickness or any other kind of obvious problem. She has been off school 3 times since september with urine infections, two of those she had a temp and sickness so was kept off for obvious reasons the third time I kept her off without a temp just because she was crying and upset going to the toilet and I didnt want her going through that at school on her own .

At the moment when she is home I tuck her up on the couch with her duvet and pillow and normally end up sitting with her hugging most of the day!. She is allowed to watch TV butmost of the time she has been off ill so far she has spent either sleeping of just starting at the wall.

When she is older, well I have not thought about it yet but this has thread certainly made me think !

figrollinthehay · 20/01/2010 20:53

YABU. Sometimes my DCs have horrible bugs with really high temperatures where they lie around obviously feeling dreadful and not wanting to eat or play. When the calpol/nurofen kicks in, they feel much better and they can do what they want at home. I don't see the point in wasting a day at home when they are clearly ill.

AnyFucker · 20/01/2010 20:55

fernie, littlies are different I think

but my kids are older, and if they spot a chink in my armour....they would be off school every Monday !

my dd, 14, is a hypochondriac in training, and if I counted up every time she complained of something, she would have about 50% attendance I reckon

btw, she is fit as a fiddle...

figrollinthehay · 20/01/2010 20:59

HeQuet and ISNT - I think she worked for me after she finished with you two . She took great offence at having her sickness record discussed and really couldn't distinguish between being too ill for work and just a bit off colour.

I didn't have a day off school during the whole if senior school. I remember being dosed up to the eye balls on medicine and sent to school - once I nearly passed out in my lunch. Strangely I am far more lax with our DC - though if I ever get tough and send them in, school seems to send them home again!