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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to want parents/nannies to watch their children in soft play

67 replies

skinsl · 20/01/2010 13:22

yeah, I know soft play!!
But fgs keep an eye on your child!!
All the boys today were little horrors, big fights, punching and kicking and scratching and pulling hair. Parents nowhere to be seen.
It's only a small play area, you can see your kids wherever they are.

OP posts:

MrsVidic · 20/01/2010 13:27

It would annoy me too

Bucharest · 20/01/2010 13:33

The MNers who are shortly going to post and tell you to get a grip and wtf did you expect from a soft play are going to be far more scary than those boys were.....

But, no, YANBU.

IMO 2 kinds of parents go to softplay. Those who see softplay institutions as a kind of bouncy inanimate babysitter, ie you chuck your kid in there, and sit and send texts till it's time to take him home again, and the rest of us, who tear-arse round softplays like the helicopter mothers we aren't (usually) trying to stop the first group from massacring the second.

So so glad dd is nearly too old for the hellpits.

letsblowthistacostand · 20/01/2010 13:46

For some reason even nice children turn into little horrors at soft play, saw it yesterday with a boy I know who normally plays so well. Luckily his mum was on the case. The worst are always the kids who aren't being watched, they know what they can get away with.

DoingTheBestICan · 20/01/2010 14:23

Seriously? What did you expect from a soft play place? All the children to sit nicely & quietly?

Tis the norm & should be expected to be honest.

Oh & of course its always the boys who act like this whereas the sweet little girls all take it in turns & play together ever so nicely,

becstarlitsea · 20/01/2010 14:32

Glad someone else posted this, have wanted to but too much of a coward!

What annoys me is that I end up looking after all their kids because I'm in there playing with DS, and then all these kids crowd around wanting my attention. Last time I managed to get them all playing a game with each other (a dozen kids) and my DS enjoyed it, but even then I constantly had to say 'No I'm not coming with you to the toilet, I'm staying with my DS, why don't you ask your mummy?' I told DS we weren't going there for a while as I just can't face being an unpaid childminder for everyone else's kids who are all trying to elbow my DS out of the way to get more of my attention. While their Mum/Nanny is on the flippin' mobile having a break.

coldtits · 20/01/2010 14:38

ALL the boys are like this, the child with pigtails who kicked my son so hard in the testicles he screamed must have a peculiar mother with a penchant for pink, pigtailed boys.

nancydrewrocks · 20/01/2010 14:45

Since "you can see your kids wherever they are" yet "the parents" were no where to be seen" Do you mean the parents had actually dropped and run?

If they were there parents ignoring "big fights" is not on but to be honest soft play
are brightly colored confined spaces, where children are positively encouraged to bounce off the walls. Rough and tumble is to be expected and inevitably with the under 5's this sometimes gets out of hand.

Some people are just better suited to music with mummy

Original poster

skinsl · 20/01/2010 15:00

I am all for the rough and tumble, but this was a big fight between 4/5 year olds. And it attracted a lot of attention and the culprits mother/nanny was the last one to see it. And I saw the whole thing from the beginning because I was watching my child.
And of course I didn't expect them to sit nice and quietly, that's just stupid. And I can only comment on this fight and it was boys.

My question was aibu in WANTING parents to keep an eye on their child???

OP posts:

coldtits · 20/01/2010 15:02

Go on, how old is your child.

It's a two year old girl, right?

NewYearNewKnickers0nMaHead · 20/01/2010 15:05

I usually let dd and ds go play while I sit with a coffee and catch up with friends. I always keep an eye on them though.

DoingTheBestICan · 20/01/2010 15:06

Could it be that the Mum/Nanny was in the loo?

Soft play places are very much rough & tumble,& to be honest with you YABU if you expect every parent to hover over their child the whole time they are there.

Do you have a dd?

belgo · 20/01/2010 15:08

I don't watch my four and five year old girls when they go to indoor play areas. Because I am watching their one year old brother, trying to make sure older children don't fall/trip over him!

If you have a small easily hurt child, then you need to watch them. It's impossible to constantly watch older livelier children.

Original poster

skinsl · 20/01/2010 15:13

No, I have a very tough 2yr old DS. Who has been known to be a bit rough.. hence I was watching him, from the table with a cup of tea. And I definitely do not expect parents to hover over them, that is unreasonable.
But the kids get overexcited(to be expected) so is it unreasonable to think parents should keep an eye on them?
She wasnt in the loo, she was sat the closest table to the action with her back to the kids. Her and her friends child were causing trouble left right and centre before the big fight.

OP posts:

Georgimama · 20/01/2010 15:19

DS loves softplay and I love it for him - have never understood the MN consensus on softplay as urine stained preserve of the lower classes.

Partly I love it because I would have loved such a thing when I was little. He's nearly 3 and if we take him at weekends I do try to restrict him to the specific toddler area (although he finds it boring) as there are children up to 12 tearing around - which is what they are supposed to be doing, after all. His CM sometimes takes him to the same one during weekdays when it is all toddlers and that is great for him.

MadamDeathstare · 20/01/2010 15:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sassybeast · 20/01/2010 15:30

YANBU to think that older kids should have an eye kept on them. I don't helicopter, but I do lift my eyes away from my mobile/hot choc/ home made cake often enough to make sure that mine are having fun and not terrorising/being terrorised by other kids. Unfortunately, not everyone feels the same.

mumtoem · 20/01/2010 15:38

I accept that soft-play is going to be rough and tumble, but I really do object to children that are obviously over 4 being rough in the area that is clearly marked for under 4s only.

MyMamaToldMe · 20/01/2010 15:43

Exactly my issue mumtoem!

GColdtimer · 20/01/2010 15:46

YANBU to expect parents to make sure their children are behaving appropriately. I find they are generally hell pits where many parents don't give too hoots whether their DCs are terrorising other children and playing in areas which are meant for the little ones.

But you will probably get loads of people telling you to lighten up I'm afraid!

Original poster

skinsl · 20/01/2010 15:47

well yeah, life's a bit short to worry too much about it, but it just annoys me.

OP posts:

GColdtimer · 20/01/2010 15:53

me too skinsl, so much so i hardly go to them anymore.

Colonelcupcake · 20/01/2010 16:06

I braved the softplay today. I could have taken another baby home with me There was a little lad who was crawling around comfyland at monkey bizness near me so I therefore assume he was between the age of 8 an 14 months so still tiny enough to need supervision.

The parent/nanny/childminder was no where to be seen and this little lad was just lonely and wanting attention happy enough to be on his own but much happier when engaged started following me round and holding on to me etc, I kept looking around but no one claimed him for a good 20 mins my two who are 3 and 2 yr old ds's liked him though.

The parent/nanny/childminder eventually showed her faceand was oh have you found a new friend it just makes me sad and angry that the little lad was getting ignored to the point he was playing with strangers and I was wandering around enough that anything could of happened to him (there are unguarded stairs at the toddler area)

Definately agree with Bucharest about the general types of parents though

BritFish · 21/01/2010 16:52

soft play is great, you can pretend you're hovering over DC and secretly have a go yourself.

MrsMattie · 21/01/2010 16:57

Softplay = hell.

There is no rest.

For the first 2-3 years you are pent up with rage every time some huge great ruffian knocks down your precious baby.

Then your precious baby becomes that huge great ruffian and you have to cower in the corner, avoiding the daggers looks of Precious Mums.

I stopped going when I realised I wasn't going to be able to sit quietly and have a coffee without some bint moaning that my big horrid Boy Child had knocked her little Ella-Mae off the slide.

One word: park

Mishy1234 · 21/01/2010 17:18

YANBU. The behaviour in the two soft play areas I've been to has been awful.

I totally understand the boisterous behaviour in the section for the older children, but the area set aside for babies and toddlers really needs to be supervised by staff. I've seen older children in this area behaving in a downright dangerous manner. There is potential for a nasty accident to happen imo, just through older kids having a lack of awareness of the younger ones. Parents/carers really need to stop using these places as cheap babysitters.

The second time I took DS to one when he was 18 months and there was poo in the ball pool, so I'm afraid that was it for me. Definitely won't be going again.

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