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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to want parents/nannies to watch their children in soft play

67 replies

skinsl · 20/01/2010 13:22

yeah, I know soft play!!
But fgs keep an eye on your child!!
All the boys today were little horrors, big fights, punching and kicking and scratching and pulling hair. Parents nowhere to be seen.
It's only a small play area, you can see your kids wherever they are.

OP posts:

tispity · 21/01/2010 21:15

YABU for going to soft play in the first place - i have vowed never to return even though ours is a 5 min walk away. these places will not change - its up to you to vote with your feet. they offer no fresh air, real freedom or release for dcs or their parents - i am actually expecting a headline one of these days re the first soft play fatality

Ripeberry · 21/01/2010 21:19

I sometimes feel like a helicopter childminder as most of the other CMs all sit and have a chat and a couple do join the kids.
Anyway, it's fun going around the softplay and I've always done it even with my own kids and I do tell the 'naughty' kids off and try and steer clear of them.
You can usually spot them within 2 mins of entering the 'hellpits'

KERALA1 · 21/01/2010 21:21

Dont really understand the vitriol I must be very weird but I think soft play places are great. That said you need to be canny with when you go. We go just as they open/right before they shut so its virtually empty. I have a 3 year old and a non walking crawler so the park is hopeless as the little one just gets to sit in the buggy at this time of year. It was great watching them have so much fun and I bought their tea there so got out of having to make it myself tonight.

laydeestardust · 21/01/2010 21:31

Never seen a poo at a soft play in around 15 years of enduring them-blood yes, poo no.

The scariest thing I've ever seen was years ago when my oldest boys were maybe 3 and 1, several little boys-4ish maybe??shoved another little boy of around 18 months under the balls and then sat on him...and it slowly dawned on me that no one else had noticed....and the boys were giggling to themselves and showing no signs of moving

I broke it up of course - the 18 month old came out, was fine although not unreasonably began screaming his head off and was clearly distraught, at which point his mum came over, along with the mums of the boys who'd sat on him, and they all seemed to think I was a bit pfb

I'm sure I was, and I'm sure he wouldn't seriously have suffocated...but funnily enough ever since I've always watched mine like a hawk at soft play

tispity · 21/01/2010 21:32

"Never seen a poo at a soft play in around 15 years of enduring them-blood yes, poo no" - i have; twas a fresh offering too!!!

Rosebud05 · 21/01/2010 21:39

I've never been - can't imagine how I'd manage with a nearly 3 year old and baby or indeed more than one child.

ravenAK · 21/01/2010 22:04

Our small local one was great when I was on ML - ds & dd1 rampaging (ds could safely be relied upon to grass up anyone who knocked his dsis over ), dd2 snoozing in bouncy chair, me reading trashy mag & drinking coffee.

& CM pops in there a lot with dd2 to kill the couple of hours between school nursery drop off & collection for dd1.

Then I tried it during school hols, & it was deeply unpleasant - full of unsupervised thumping great 8 year olds 'bombing' from upper level into ballpit full of equally unsupervised 2 year olds.

So agree with OP - whether you have a delicate little article or a great clumsy oafish lump (currently am proud parent of both) - you do have to keep an eye on them, & if you don't you can only expect your dc to be flattened &/or given a bollocking for doing the flattening...

Pozzled · 21/01/2010 22:29

I'm really surprised at how much people hate soft play- I love it. Don't know anywhere else where DD can use up so much energy on a rainy day.

Agree with the OP that parents should keep an eye on their kids, although not always possible with the multilevel ones. Not looking where you're going, throwing balls etc is to be expected but deliberate hitting, kicking etc should be challenged wherever it happens.

That said, DD (17 months)was in the ball pool today and a 2 or 3 year old deliberately put his hand right over her face and pushed her down into the balls. Kept his hand there until I intervened, wasn't just an instantaneous thing. It shocked me, but she wasn't bothered by it and I have no grudge against the parents.

princessparty · 21/01/2010 22:39

I haven't come across a lot of bad behaviour at soft play centres .maybe a few kids climbing the netting or the wrong way up the slide or lobbing balls out but nothing nasty or vicious

KERALA1 · 22/01/2010 13:24

I agree pozzled its bucketing with rain here and my two tiny ones had a lovely morning running around a soft play centre.

TopSop · 22/01/2010 13:42

Took my DS (3.8) to our local Monkey Biz yesterday morning - he had a fabulous time playing with one of his friends of the same age (little girl), though he was so excited about going that he did overdo it a bit in the ball pit with leaping and trying to get the balls through the holes on the board you're supposed to throw them at (and why on earth is that in the littlies ball pit, not the bigger kids' one?!) However, I was in there with him the whole time to ensure that no balls bounced off other children's heads (as far as possible), that he didn't jump on anyone else etc etc. He burned off huge amounts of energy and had a marvellous time! and my friend took over with the two kids sometimes, chasing round after them on the equipment, while I got to have lovely cuddles with her 3 month old baby!

TBH he's only recently gained the confidence to go round the place on his own or with another child rather than attached to me, and at 27 weeks pg with horrendous hip pain I'm just not able to a) fit through the small gaps and b) keep up with him like I used to. So I'm happy to encourage him to go off and try to do stuff on his own. But I know he won't go far or want to be away from me for long, and I always try and keep an eye on where he is at least. He's generally a well-behaved lad, so yesterday when he did try to get through a "doorway" ahead of a smaller child I stopped him and told him that he should wait for smaller people to go through first instead of pushing ahead... surely if you bring your children up to behave with consideration for other people's feelings then these issues shouldn't arise? (I have tackled one or two bigger children there for over-rough behaviour, like deliberately using my son as a target when throwing balls - but if their parent isn't there to control them, I have no qualms about telling them off!)

I have to admit that I will only take him, for preference, on a weekday morning in termtime so that I know he won't get pushed or shoved by bigger kids and the place will be generally a bit more civilised. Having said that, we have been to a number of weekend birthday parties there, and those are just horrendous. Sometimes I feel like sending DS along to one of these things with DH so he can see what it's like, lol!

tispity · 22/01/2010 14:12

if there are any would-be softplay developers reading this - what we need is a lovely calm place with gentle classical music, a neutral colour scheme and natural lighting, no junk food on sale, properly enforced separation of babies/toddlers/oldies and an obligation for parents and carers to closely supervise at all times (or else be thrown out) ...nah, never going to happen

ruhavingalarf · 22/01/2010 16:06

..............and maybe i will get flamed, but boys and girls do tend to play ahem differently at these things, so maybe an area that would appeal more to one than the other and vv.

our local one also has an outdoors bit with bikes/ride ons etc plus a sandpit/climbing frame which for some reason rarely has the brawls and whining you get inside. my prob with this is if you are on your own, DD wants inside and DS wants outside. 2 places at once?? so never go on my own.

and of course no good in the rain.

tispity · 22/01/2010 17:12

i don't know why these goddam awful places had to propogate so rapidly when all they had to do was work out how to 'cover' our parks which already existed, are free to use and now full of hoodies

nappyaddict · 28/01/2010 14:35

I find at places like this people often don't watch their older children because they are concentrating on the younger ones and you can't be in more than one place at a time.

Triggles · 28/01/2010 15:44

We have to have me sitting at one side of the place and DH sitting on the other, as the stupid staff don't know how to follow their own policies. The door directly into their kitchen is just outside one entrance to the play area, and has a sign on it saying "this door is to be closed and secured at all times" - inside is the cooking area with the hot grill and oil cookers - and yet the door is left hanging open at least a dozen times each time we're there. After the first visit where we spent most of our time grabbing 3yo DS when he ran for the door, and our complaint to the staff and manager yielded nothing but a disinterested "hmmm...." ... And the other entrance is often left open even though it also has a sign saying it must remain closed for security reasons. We really need to find another place to go, but honestly just don't have the strength to check other places out. Am hoping to avoid it altogether.

StealthPolarBear · 28/01/2010 16:17

i love soft play!!

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