To want to adopt a child from Haitai?

[booyou]

Well....just that really. We have discussed adopting a child in the future and there are up to 1 million oprhans or one parent has died.... would like to help....

It really upset me seeing it on the news earlier when the Amaricain family (well the father) came to pick up there adopted child from Haiti and another girl was crying as she wanted to go too .

I had the same thought as the OP, if only it was that easy. I know its wrong to strip them of their culture but what kind of life are they going to have.

I have always wanted to adopt (if i could) but always said if i did it would be in the UK, now i feel slighty different after seeing the poor girl on the news.

YANBU
I do not want another biological child but I would love to a adopt a child from a country where their situation without adoption would otherwise be hopeless.

mollythetortoise - spurred myself on too, as soon as I'd finished typing that it was what I planned to do I did it. As Speedy says, sponsoring a community is far more beneficial than sponsoring an individual child and that is exactly what ActionAid do

Kew your son is beautiful

Bicnod - I didn't know that about ActionAid. I sponsored a child through them for years (until I was made redundant because I had the temerity to have a child, grr)

Kew - yes, your son is a right proper beauty. You both look so sweet and happy together, what gorgeous pics!

Speedy how dare you expect to have a child and a job? Some people

Here's a linky to ActionAid's blurb about working with communities through child sponsorship

bum didn't work properly - click on the 'how it works' bit

kew the tears are rolling down my face, your son is very special and i think you are too

Bicnod - I know, I know...I'm just one of those damned self-centred 'Have It All' women...we're actually loaded up to the eyeballs, so my £30k job was only really pocket money to enable me to buy champagne and Boden accessories.

Actually I did once overhear a woman on a bus in Chelsea saying exactly that - she ran her own shop, but she only did it so that she'd have 'pocket money' as her DH was clearly so loaded that all she needed was something to fill her time.

Will check out your linky once I've done something more useful with my evening than posting on MN!

Notice skihorse hasnt been back to comment on Kew wanting a " perfect product"

geordie What was there to comment on? She explained what she meant. What was I supposed to do? Reply "thanks"? I read her response but I'm not sure it actually required a 500 word response of simpering prose and a request for her home address so I can send him a birthday card on an annual basis?

Not everything posted requires a deep and detailed response backed up with a letter from all 4 grandparents.

Geordie the way I read it was that Skihorse said SHE didn't need to have perfect baby and thought Kew was saying she only wanted a younger baby without problems, which TBH is how I first read Kew's post.

You're being a bit harsh on SH!

Um, yes! YABU!

Even if you are Hatian, and you won't be pulling a child out of it's culture after such a traumatic experience, don't you think that Port-au-Prince and the area of the epicentre might want a next generation.

There are surviving adults in Haiti, you know.

There are areas unaffected by the 'quake.

What's wrong with adopting from this country? There are plenty of children needing adopting here. Not cute/helpless enough for you?

I'm going to take this OP with a pinch of salt.

'It really upset me seeing it on the news earlier when the Amaricain family (well the father) came to pick up there adopted child from Haiti and another girl was crying as she wanted to go too .'

THESE CHILDREN HAD ALREADY BEEN MATCHED!

The little girl would have been taken out a few months down the line had their been no earthquake.

The orphanage was running out of supplies and the area is dangerous.

THAT is why the children were allowed to expatriate. The paperwork will need to be completed in their new homes (which I'm sure is going to prove just as much of a nightmare as it always is).

These particular children were orphans before the quake.

Kew, what a beautiful little boy! And what an amazing woman you are.

So incredibly moving, thank you for sharing x

not amazing at all wubbly - just very lucky.

"What's wrong with adopting from this country? There are plenty of children needing adopting here. Not cute/helpless enough for you?"

Thast a bit harsh - surely most mothers first instinct would be to want to nurture small children in that position. I think its an absolutely normal response in the circumstances even if it doesn't stand up to scrutiny in the cold light of day.

And before anyone thinks to accuse me of adopting DS becasue he was "cute/helpless", I had no information on him before I walked in the door and met him - no photo, no medical information, not age nor sex.

Just wanted to back up the others saying the same: There are children in the UK desperate for homes, why not look closer to home first

Also, spare bed/cot and able to feed another child dilemma? Look up fostering!

As much as I would love to help various charities and people abroad I feel that charity begins and home and we must help those closer to home first.

(But admittedly, if I had any money I would gladly send some over and avoid watching the news for a reason atm )

Came back to this thread purely to see your DS Kew, he is beautiful.

what a beautiful video Kew. Hes gorgeous and you are so lucky to have him...

I've been through this argument enough times on MN to know it's futile. So all I'll say is that I have a beautiful five-year DD adopted from China and she is flourishing in her new family and country. She deserved a family, not life in an orphanage.

It must have been so hard for the Dad in that story though, if you are there to pick up one child and another is begging to come as well, I imagine the instinct is to scoop her up and go.

You are SO right, Rebecca!

And for every 'There are children in the UK desperate for homes, why not look closer to home first' you have a person, who wants so much to parent, but doesn't meet UK adoption criteria (single, too old, too fat, gay, not the right colour, etc.).

And, aside from that, why judge someone else's reasons for what they do? It's not harming anyone and it's not really anyone's business why they adopted internationally (some peoples' reasons, too, may be very personal).

expat: there are circumstances in which looking abroad for adoption would be preferable (which I didn't argue, I just said to look here first) but I think that looking to adopt here would be a good starting base for anybody looking to adopt before looking abroad as there are children here in need of a family too.

I know briefly of the adoption laws and regulations as my grandparents foster and went through 3/4 years and thousands upon thousands of pounds trying to adopt their foster daughter when she was put up for adoption.
They were classed as too old, social services were pressing for her to be adopted by other people (who weren't interested in her because she isn't the so-called 'perfect child' because of a huge array of issues) and it all ended up going to court, getting specialists in and everything else.
Social services even tried to forcibly remove her from their care during court cases (by planning to turn up at my great aunts house with cops and demanding for her to be handed over with my grandparents completely unaware in the court room; the judge discovered this plan of action before it happened thankfully) and they completely denied and ignored all medical experts opinions on how she'd suffer should she be removed from my grandparents care.
Thank God that the judge saw sense and allowed my grandparents guardianship of her and I have a very beautiful little auntie who we all love dearly

Sorry for the essay-like story, I tried to cut it down without cutting out detail!

I am all for adoption and plan to adopt (and foster!) one day, but I'd try to adopt from the UK first.