To refuse to start taking oral contraception?

[RunSpotRun]

Been living with DP for just over a year now. At first, I started taking the pill (loestrin) and I rapidly gained a stone in weight. I stopped taking it and even months later, I couldn't shift that stone. I'd tried all sorts of diets, nothing worked. I was becomming so fed up, none of my clothes fitted, I felt frumpy and flabby and I couldn't even enjoy my sport properly because I just felt too heavy.

However, for the past month or so I have tried a new approach to dieting (eating regularly but in very small portions) and FINALLY the weight is starting to creep back down.

Since I stopped taking the pill, we've been using condoms but now DP is saying he hates them and he wants me to try the depo injection. After much worry and anxiety, I reluctantly agreed to try it and he's been counting the days ever since.

However, after a chat with the nurse, I'm convinced I will put weight on again. The nurse actually said its likely.

I'm torn between trying to keep him happy and thinking "fuck it, its my body and I don't want to put anymore weight on so I'm not taking it".

He will go off on one completely if I tell him I'm not even going to try it but I'm so scared of putting weight on again.

AIBU to refuse having it done?

I simpy CANNOT risk getting pregnant as it would have to end it abortion so anything less reliable is a definate no.

YANBU. I personally hate condoms, but no, you have to make your own choices about your own body.

What about the Mirena Coil ? Has suited me very well (on my second one now).

BTW, Deeply unfair of him to "go off on one" about this.

With depo there is a very high likelihood you will gain weight.

If loestrin is a progesten-only pill and you gained weight on it, then a Mirena may also make you gain weight.

Birth control is a joint responsibility, IMO.

BUT YANBU.

It's your body, your decision.

He's being ridiculous, and has no right to insist you mess with your body for his convenience. Condoms or no sex.

If I didn't have kids with him, this person would no longer be my 'DP' for 'going off on one' and being so controlling, however.

I don't have time for people who try to control my decisions about my body.

I think a vasectomy would safeguard your weight.

you certainly are NOT BU! Look at all the cons at your end

1. you may put on weight
2. The horemones you are putting into your body
3. Mood swings
4. no periods..at all
5. if you decided later on that you want kids it could be harder to concieve up to a year after coming off the depo.

did they talk to you about the implant? does anyone know if it can cause weight gain?

YANBU - it's completely up to you. I wasn't able to go on the pill for various reasons and it was never an issue for my DH what we used instead.

I know I shouldn't care but he's going to give me the silent treatment for days when I tell him.

I've just read the side effects of the depo and the coil and weight gain is a problem with both.

Also I suffer with migraines and this stuff apparantly makes it worse.

So INBU to insist we carry on with condoms then? (or he gets the snip!?)

Implant can also cause weight gain.

Copper coil doesn't contain hormones, but can cause heavy period and/or PMT.

Have you looked into the copper coil? If you have OK periods at the moment it can be a really good form of contraception, and totally non-hormonal

IT"S YOUR BODY. Not only as far as the weight is concerned, but also the fact that you might not want to mess up with your hormones/out chemicals in your body. Why should the weight of contraception fall on you, he wants to have sex too, right?

I'd tell him to stuff it and get on with putting those condoms on. Or get the snip if "he hates condoms".

Dump him, he sounds like a twat.

A non-hormonal copper coil sounds like it would be a possible solution for you here- that's what I use, as I gain weight on hormonal contraception too but need something very reliable. It can give you heavier periods though, but I have found that using a mooncup rather than towels or tampons seems to reduce the discomfort and inconvenience a lot.

'I know I shouldn't care but he's going to give me the silent treatment for days when I tell him.

I've just read the side effects of the depo and the coil and weight gain is a problem with both.

Also I suffer with migraines and this stuff apparantly makes it worse.

So INBU to insist we carry on with condoms then? (or he gets the snip!?) '

That fact that you even need to ask is really sad.

WHY are you wasting your time with someone who acts like this?

Do you have children with this loser?

You have migraines and the other form makes you gain weight that makes you very unhappy and he'd give you the silent treatment over having to use a condom?

Get rid.

What about a non-hormonal IUD? Copper coil? Assuming you're happy to have sex that isn't STD preventative.

and reading your last post, I wouldn't have a copper coil for this creep, either.

The other good thing about the coil is that if it doesn't suit you the doctor can take it out in 2 minutes, and once it's out, it's out and can't affect your body, unlike the injection

Oh yeah he sounds like a twat. And condoms aren't that reliable, I got the coil after my doc told me how many women she sees who got pg by accident just using condoms.

We used condoms for years and never got pregnant.

Some people really don't like the idea of having something shoved up them and stuck in their womb for contraception.

Especially under pressure from some loser who thinks contraception is all the woman's responsibility.

Must admit, as expat says, the thought of something foreign being shoved into my body and left there terrifies me

There is NO form of contraception that is 100% reliable. Condoms worked just fine for me during my "crazy" decade.

I'd show him the door TBH

He sounds like a twat.

seriously, what would he do if you suggested that he got the snip, and then give him the silent treatment if he refused?