To think that it is ridiculous to complain about someone's requests surrounding their newborn?

[BritFish]

I was talking to a friend today who's SIL has just given birth. the family have all met the baby and made a fuss, and now her SIL and brother have asked for the family to give them a week by themselves with their new baby to enjoy being together without any interruptions.
my friend was practically OUTRAGED that her SIL would ban family for the first week of the baby's life, despite the fact the whole family got to see the baby the day after it was born, if not on the day!
she's acting as if the SIL is pushing the family away and being overcontrolling.
[she got to see the LO the day after, so its not as if she's missed out]
i thought that this was a lovely idea to have time just you and your partner and baby straight after birth! or is that just me?

hi, thanks for the response, i've really enjoyed reading all your horror stories as bad as that sounds!
my friend has two DC's of her own, and i have since gone back to her and asked how her SIL is doing etc
[they have spoken on phone, and friend asked AGAIN if they could visit ASAP but new mum sounds blissfully happy btw]
i explained to her that having time off is a great idea, and that bonding for the mother/father is very important at this stage.
she was still very huffy and went on and on about 'grandparents/aunts/uncles' having as much right to get to know the new family member blah blah blah. again
i give up, but at least the new mum's getting her 'babymoon'
i love/hate that term. just sickly sweet enough!

Most books do suggest new mothers do this, so the family have time to bond, baby only smells familiar smells etc plus mother does not feel pressured to get dressed and deal with visitors.

But both times so far I was just too excited and wanted to show my babies off straight away, we were the first out of our whole group of friends to have a baby so of course the whole group of our friends about 12 came to our home when dd1 was a few days old.

I have to say I felt really overwhelmed at one point and had to go into my bedroom making an excuse i needed to feed dd as i was bf and was not ready to feed infront of people.

I immedialtelyy felt tearful and was so pleased when they all left.

When this baby comes I am not going to fit everyone in so quickly and will just have close family and friends at first.

But why do other people get so bothered by other peoples choices, its like acting like a spoilt child. One week is nothing to expect alone, the baby will look the same still!

No-one has a "right" to see a baby except the parents who have parental responsibility. She's talking about "wants" not legal"rights". You can't get "to know" a newborn baby anyway.
She's just being selfish and silly.

crumpette Have you had any visitors yet?

BTW Gumps How long did you go to spain for and whereabouts? I went to the Costa Del Sol when DS was 4 weeks old for a fortnight and in hindsight probably wouldn't do it again but only because it was the first 2 weeks of august and stupidly hot.

oldenglishspangles Did the grandparents live nearby or was there a distance between you which meant they couldn't be tempted to pop round?

napyaddict we were very lucky that at the time dh's dad owned a 3 bed gorgeous apartment in Mallorca. It was in a very peaceful location and we had aircon. It was also early June so not too hot and pretty empty as the school holidays hadn't started.
I tell all first time parents to go for it! The easiest holiday we have ever had with the kids as no travel cot as we took a bolster and lay him in that, was exclusively bf so no food or bottle and he just wore vests.
Ah sigh.... now with 2 of em I seem to take the whoel house with me when I just go to the park.

i asked for a babymoon and you know what i got......4 years of it family took the hump and have frozen me out and ignored my dd for 4 years.

i didnt bother chasing to make it up with them as i was exhausted with the labour,birth and all. i shouldnt have had to in my opinion.

i have ds now also and have struggled emotionally over this. too much water under the bridge to forgive them now.
its a tragedy really.

im so sad
.

no need to worry about having babymoon with ds 4 months ago their was no one to ask, just us in the hospital, really sad,
i wonder if asking for a babymoon the first time caused all this, i have racked my brain for years over this.......was it worth it?
depends on the family really, ours well ignoring you and your children for years over it tells it all.....their loss eh