to get depressed by the invasive Breast is Best campaign?

[TottWriter]

I have Epilepsy, and the medication I take means I can't breastfeed. I've been told by my consultant and the Epilepsy nurse and my GP that the medication could pass into my breast milk and make it unsafe for my baby to drink. I breastfed my DS for a few days so he got the colostrum (the medication was passed to him through the placenta anyway), but after that, weaned him onto the bottle (with considerable tears).

I had really looked forward to breastfeeding, and when I was told my milk would be contaminated by my meds, I felt awful, and moped over it for months. I felt a failure, because I couldn't even give it a go and see if I physically could do it.

In that time, it didn't help that everywhere I went, there seemed to be a 'Breast is Best' leaflet, article, advert or other related campagn material. In addition ot hte big leaflet that the midwife gave me, there are articles in every baby book and magazine in creation, and posters all over the Ante-Natal unit. It's so pervasive that I ended up feeling like a complete failure, that I was just letting my son down and giving him inferior food. Even Sainsburys and Boots penalise women who don't breastfeed, by not counting formula milk in bonus or double points offers until you get to the toddler milk.

I'm currently 13wks, and the whole mess is rearing its head again. This time around, I am comforted by the fact that my DS is an absolutely thriving toddler; smart, active, friendly, everything but a reliable sleeper. But still, I'm beginning to get a resurgance of my old feelings of guilt and failure. I have no problems at all with the campaign's message, or the fact that it does need to be promoted to stop the nonsense of women who just can't be bothered or don't want to spoil their appearance, or breastfeed in public. What gets me down is simply that at every stage of my pregnancy, I'm confronted with paper and people telling me the one thing I cannot do is the one thing that everyone should.

Is it unreasonable of me to feel so depressed? Is it unreasonable that at times I really resent the campaign for being in my face so much?

Not unreasonable, I was unable to BF ds1 (he had an intolerance that caused him to lose weight severely untilplaced on spcialformula) so I know a little of how you feel.

But the campaigns did help me to BF the other children, and whilst it can be heartbreaking I think there is a point at which you have to accept its not your fauklt and ignore.

Goodluck with the pg

I agree, standandeliver - amazing and brilliant, isn't it?

I was in a very similar position to you in that i take long term medication for severe psoriasis and took it throughout the majority of my pregnancy (which is unusual) because there aren't any other treatment options for me. i was also told i couldn't bf whilst taking it because it passes into breast milk and i also stop taking it short term to try and bf for a few weeks. Unfortunately ds had different ideas and in the end i couldn't bf at all but i felt (and still feel) that everywhere i turned i was given the `breast is best' message - i could have screamed in frustration!. I've also found that there is very little information out there on ff - which formula? how many oz? whats the best position? is this normal? how long can you keep a bottle? etc etc - other than how to sterilise bottles and it did feel like once we started ff the ward staff weren't particularly interested.

my advice now? Stay strong, your health is as important as your baby's and if you need the meds then so be it. I also made my midwife write all over my maternity notes why i might not be able to bf which was useful in stopping the constant questions (i did also hand back some leaflets to one very annoying midwife who implied i should stop taking my medication in order to bf - ignorant woman). I got very upset about one poster at our childrens centre (i won't go into details because i'll just get cross and its just a stupid poster) so now i just ignore them and smile sweetly to myself and carry on bottle feeding.

Truthsweet i've just read your post about having to do your own research and i'm really shocked! Before i got pregnant my dermatologist did all the research into my drug (ciclosporin) and pregnancy and arranged for me to be jointly monitored by the obstetric team throughout my pregnancy.

The difficulty with pregnancy and medication generally is that it medically it is not particularly ethical to do studies (other than anedoctol) on pregnant ladies and generally it is better to verge on the side of caution. I had thought because i took my drug pretty much throughout that it wouldn't be that different for bf but because there was little evidence to support the safety of bf it was a atraight no.

When it comes down to it we do the very best thing we can for our children on the information we have at the time which i'm sure you did. On the sleeping front i can offer no help what so ever except for the reassurance that when your DS is a teenager you will have the opposite trouble as it will be hard getting him out of bed and these sleepless nights will seem an eternity away!!

YANBU at all it can seem like that especially when you are not able to bf and really want to. IMO bf is promoted quite a bit really, i have seen in places that they are bf friendly, posters in hospitals, however it is not just to put posters up and leaflets promoting bf, you need the support system there in case womean are experiencing problems with bf and need that bit of one to one help to get started or to help them overcome their problems.

One another thread the initial bf rates are like 74% i think, so most women do want to bf, but they dwindle once problems are encountered, lack of support given and mums switch to formula later on

Hogshead - Yup, cons. didn't really know what to make of a mum to be who didn't go 'Ok, just do what you say' and actually questioned his advice of a blanket 'no bfing on anti-epileptics'. I normally am a nod and agree with drs type - for example when my Obs. cons. told me he induced all his epileptic ladies at 38 weeks I went along with that with out questioning the validity of that 'advice' - 4 days of induction later.......

standanddeliver - Thank you for be so kind about my ramblings, I'm [blushing]!

From a completely different angle, its possible that if you wanted to breastfeed your new baby there may be different medication you could take.. the epilepsy helpline can give you expert advice 0808 800 5050 have a look at this article here: www.epilepsy.org.uk/info/women/breastfeeding

I have no experience of epilepsy but www.laleche.org.uk helped me with problems to start off with.

Good Luck - when are you due? Expecting my number 2 in Sept

Sorry, haven't read all the thread. I am in the same position as you. pg with second and on keppra. I was told by my neurologist that it was unsafe to breast feed. However, my ostetrician said that actually yes you could you just need to keep an eye on your baby. If he/she becomes too sleepy than you may have to stop. She also pointed out that baby has been receiving keppra for the time you are pg so not like she/he is getting a new drug.

With my 1st pg i was on lamotrigine which was ok to breast feed. However, like you, i only managed a couple of weeks. He never really latched on properly and i had a big seizure a couple of days post birth and had to go back to hospital for the night. The ff meant my dh/mum could help with nightfeeds and i could get more sleep so didn't have another seizure.

I do know how you feel though. I felt very uncomfortable at baby groups getting a bottle out as i felt everyone was judging me.

Good luck with your baby.

YANBU... my 2 youngest are adopted and would have given anything to BF them... sometimes it's just not possible is it?
Console yourself with your thriving toddler and many congratulations on your pregnancy.

As a paediatrician said to me "breast is best, except when it's not". It's not in your case. Be proud of being a mother and doing a great job despite your epilepsy and don't worry about the feeding. Your new baby will be fine just as your toddler is. Congratulations, BTW!

Agree with HappySeven's paediatrician!

YANBU but MY reasons is for different reasons.

Congratuations on the pregnancy x x x Some great advice here x