found this site on our laptop and in despair...

[wollysocks]

we have laptop at home. after spotcheck on DP websites, "Punter Net" was at the top of the list! This gives addresses of flats to visit. Does it show intent to go. Every little thing I am worrying about. This morning he has put scented aftershave on, which is not normal for him, and I wonder if this is a sign that he is going somewhere today. Men terrible at hiding the obvious. please tell me I'm being silly.

*woollysocks" sweetie, you don't have to have sex with him tonight just because you didn't have sex last night do you?

sparrowFflamau.

And so shall you get a response.

Firstly it is only courteous to reply to people who have taken time out for my issue I feel and I am grateful to get a wide range of responses to help me look at the big picture.

Secondly it is great I have found somewhere I can get gread advice.

Of note still not "Come on my period" now Day 28 and resigned myself to fact it is my age (good god) and must be The change or as someone said before the perimenopause.

Most of us get so caught up in our own outpourings (I am a terrible one for it) that we absorb the replies, but only reply to some of them properly. You are lovely

w/r the whole situation though. In the current weather, I'd be using the train too. My DH has gone the other way round and is cycling instead of using the car which is far more disturbing imo.

Punter net though with a history of visiting and it being saved in faves worries me, but at the same time, if I was up to dodgy things I wouldn't be saving it in my faves.

Most importantly - Do NOT have sex if you don't want to.

Miss woowoo. re: sex tonight. On the one hand I don't have to have sex. He may wonder why I not interested and shuts him up for a while but linking to other post I would wonder if he been somewhere and getting off on it by having sex with me as well. yuck mega yuck.

SparrowFflamau. re sex tonight: many thanks for that. At mo DO NOT favour sex. So he got shock tonight.

I didn't mean he was putting on scent to see someone else, no, just that you're in danger of reading something into everything he does (where he's put his phone, things he once said, the fact he wanted to have sex etc and so on).

Frankly I'd be livid to discover my partner was checking my internet history, phone, movement, whatever; firstly as it indicates a lack of trust (you may well feel differently, I'm not telling you how to live your life here), but mostly because it will have meant my partner didn't feel they could just TALK to me, just ask what was on their mind. Sneaking around behind his back is a form of dishonesty too, after all.

Anyway, good luck with it all. x

Hi, it might not be anything to worry about.

Punternet gives reviews of prostitutes. Some of the stories can be quite amusing (I've looked), it was linked on another forum I go on... I think it is highly likely that he has seen the link and gone for a look for a laugh - does he go on a certain football forum perchance???

Hello, I had never heard of this site, so I had a little nosy (purely for research purposes, of course )

An hour later I closed it down . What I am saying is that it was kinda horribly fascinating wrt the awful attitudes towards women and the kinds of conversations that were going on.

It is not just places to go for a "working girl". There are conversation threads too. It may be that your bloke is also a bit drawn into the frank discussions about some people's sexual preferences (some bits made me ). However, there are no photo's which I would take to be reassuring (if this turns out to be the correct explanation of his activity)

Just the fact it is in his pc history does not mean he is visiting prostitutes

Many men use porn in all forms to give themself a cheap thrill, maybe this is just an extension of that, therefore not necessarily a dealbreaker.

Speak to him, all this snooping (I don't blame you for that, btw) and imagining all sorts of scanarios is going to just make you ill.

Good luck x

I was on for about an hour too AF . One review said that the girl seemed to be doing it from necessity rather than choosing the profession - how many women actually think "ooh yes, i'll be a prostitute for my career"???

yuck, sounds like a horrible man. Not sure I could be with someone who had slept with prostitutes at all!

Agree with LG&T (hi) - tailor the approach to the man.

Oh Wollysocks you are such a sweet person to reply to everyone.

I am so sorry that you're having to deal with this. Remember, none of it is your fault.

Also, if your period is a couple of days late it doesn't necessarily mean that you are perimenopausal. Anything out of the ordinary can delay ovulation + therefore your next period so if you were really busy/stressed around Christmas time then that would be your reason.

blardy hell... I just spent far too long reading about the dozens of working girls in our little country town!

Will have to delete history, cache etc or DH will think i've changed career

Very sorry but this does not look good. My friend used to be a working girl and she says the one thing you can be sure of is there is never a "type" of man who visits prostitutes. She says you can literally never tell, sometimes it is the quietest, sweetest ones. God, poor you. But I bet loads of us have other halves who do this sort of thing on the sly, and we are utterly oblivious....

I just lost 20 minutes of my life to punternet too - their site traffic will shoot up today thanks to this thread! I was amused by how many men said things like "and then I taught her what it should be like and she came loudly, definitely not faking it here" or some such... yes dears.

Wollysocks I'm not sure what you gain by waiting to see if he goes on it again. Why not just talk to him now?

Oh God, I am ashamed to admit I had a good ol' trawl of that site too last night. I was pissed, and it is horribly fascinating.

Wolly, my second post about likelyhood of innocence was directed to BBM, re her post about that site.

I didn't mean to cause you further concern about what I agree to be obvious. My apologies if I did so.

< phew >

glad I am not the only one who got a bit caught up in there

weren't the attitudes to women just awful

some of the signatures of the men were just horrendous, for example "if I had allll the money in the world there still wouldn't be enough women..."

wtf ??? What fucking awful "all men together bullshit !!

I didn't realise these horrific places existed (well, I did, but I didn't know what they were called )

I was thinking last night at wine o'clock...if this was on my DH's pc history I wouldn't automatically think he had been using prostitutes, but I would think he was some sort of sleazy, inadequate, lowlife prick to think this site was "entertainment"

give me straightforward porn, anyday, rather than that

I agree AF, I wouldn't be impressed if a OH used such sites, whatever their intention.

Wollysocks, you should consider installing some keylogger software onto your PC so you can see what he is up to when you're in bed.

I havent used this myself but this is the sort of thing I mean:

www.actualspy.com/index.html

Just had a look at Punter Net and I feel sick. This thread a case in point:

www.punternet.com/forum/showthread.php?t=25987

Are these men dreaming? Do they actually think that they can compare selling your body to being a plumber.

I feel sorry for those girls. I'd rather lose an eye than let one of those animals near me

Heracles. responding to your post. Yes i have lack of trust because he phoned girls in the past (although that not too bad for phone sex), this makes my self esteem go out the window. his phone is ok now but prob because he has world wide web to use instead.

Me dishonest. Why also should he not TALK to me, rather me have to talk to him? Although slight cop out on my behalf. Like millions of women i know he will blag it and/or perhaps would rather live in denial than hear his pathetic excuses/lies.

cheesefarmer. in response to your post.

I so want to believe it is nothing to worry about.

Funny you should question if he goes on a certain football forum. I have not checked it out properly but more than likely. I have to ask why do you ask? How would you know him? God got me all wondering now and can't wait for your response.

hoping he did it for a laugh, but knowing him I doubt it.

MY laugh is that I came on tonight and he was expecting sex so he got to wait a whole week as I go on that long, ha hippy ha to me. Result.

This man that you are living with obviously lacks any moral substance and has no respect for other human beings. He's reduced those women to commodites and I doubt he holds you in much higher esteem. Do you really want your little girl growing up with a man like that?
There are plenty of decent men out there, have a look around and ditch the worm

ps Suggest you save this thread to your favourites 'by mistake'. I'd like him to read what I wrote about him.

yangymac. many thanks for your post of hope.

my thought is he was used to me checking his phone but this is a new media. Maybe he was setting me up to see if I would take the bait? Well this time I was more succint. By deleting his fav's bar. sounds childish but I could not leave it there.

Today am ok. Tonight better as have come on so oh dear no sex tonight or for the next 7! yippee. There is a God after all!