to think thank CHRIST I am not having a proper wedding?

[GetOrfMoiLand]

Getting married. Register office.

Me, dp, dd and dstepson (they will be witnesses).

Traipse off for a lunch afterwards and a drink.

Bugger off for a long weekend (holiday later in year with dd).

Clothes - DP will wear a suit he already owns, I will buy a frock one saturday from a normal shop with NORMAL shopkeepers (not the loons which inhabit bridal shops), dd and dstepson will wear what they like.

Food and drink - whatever we want on the day. No agonising over pan fried chicken with timbales of rice with a selection of seasonable vegetables crappy catering choices which will cost £3000 or so. We will drink nice champagne because there are only few of us and we don't have to supply for hundreds.

NO bridal favours

NO bridesmaids

NO hand wringing over inviting babies to the wedding

NO floral arangements

NO cake

NO fretting over venue and booking of.

NO crappy disco playing hits from Status Quo or whatev.

NO fuss.

Family and friend and will be fine when we tell them afterwards what we have done.

I cannot imagine holding a 'proper' wedding and would never desire to.

But you are having what I'd describe as a "proper" wedding. Unlike one of those matchy-matchy nightmares which cost as much as a small house and involve emotional upsets at every turn.

YANBU.

Dh and I got married in the summer. We nipped to the register office with just a handful of family members with us.

Then we went back home and sat in the garden all afternoon drinking champagne and eating the buffet that DH and I prepared.

No honeymoon, but we are going to the coast for a week in June, in a caravan, and with all the DC

YANBU at all. if thats what makes you happy then thats all that matters.

I just wonder how your parents will feel to have missed it?

You are having a proper wedding! Hope you have a lovely day.

YANBU

exactly what me and dp plan to do, except the kids are too young to be witnesses so we are choosing a friend each!

Totally agree, we did similar (tho' did have a small number of family and friends with us) We began plans for a more formal do but it rapidly spiralled out of control, family rows over who was invited etc so we cancelled and got the next available date at the registry office. Best thing we ever did.

Yanbu.

I had a church wedding as I am religious and go to church every week, BUT we had a small group of family and very close pals then went back to our house for drinks and food.

It was a wonderful day.

I got a nice new dress in Debenhams and dh wore his new suit. Uncle took some photos throughout the day, Mum made a nice cake for us and our neighbour provided impromptu entertainment by means of the fiddle!

I HATE big expensive Bridezilla weddings.

YANBU. We did this. 2 friends and dd. Nice lunch afterwards. Friends were persuaded to babysit for a couple of hours in the afternoon so we could have a rest. Then we all went to the pub. Lovely.

Well, DP's mum and dad are lovely - it would actually be lovely to have them there but his family are huge - and they are the kind of family where you really would have to invite the lot. I was talking to MIL a couple of months ago - she said her brother buggered off and got married and got some srangers to be witnesses - she said she thought it was a lovely idea, they just came in with normal clothes on and announce 'well we've just got married'.

Think MIL was hinting actually, think she may just want me and DP to pull our finger out! She is lovely.

I don't speak to half my family - I was raised by my gran, my relationship with my mum has always been a bot fractured (only got to know her when I was 16) and has lately completely broken down, I love my brother but he lives in US on work visa so can't easily get back.

I think I am partly looking at this idea as would hate to have my side of the church (so to speak) have one or two family members at most, and DPs to have 80 or so.

But that is only part the reason, the main one is that I am a lazy swine who can't be arsed!!

Memoo - that sounds so lovely.

Lol at portofino's little 'rest'.

Your wedding is a proper wedding of course it is.

But 100 guests, bridesmaids, naff disco, drunken uncles etc. is preferred by some folk and doesn't = Bridezilla in all but a few cases.

YANBU
my wedding was 95% organised by my MIL and SILs. So it was a 'proper' wedding according to their culture. I, however, spent a lot of the time sneaking off to the garden to have a fag and a glass of wine, my friends and family had a lovely time, and it was great. I could not be faffed with organising a wedding. I'd be crap at it, find it very stressful and hate everyone by the time they had sat down to eat.

Different strokes for different folks

live and let live

and other cliches about not judging other people and their choices

Kat - yes, I would find it stressfull to organise all that. I get stressed about Christmas - but that is nice stress becase I love Chrimbo, I don't think I could get excited about lilac bridesmaid dresses and sugared almonds.

I am actually very excited at the thought of tripping out the register office all married, and then walking into town into a nice restaurant and celebrating, just the 4 of us. It's a shame that the register office looks like the dole office, but that can't be helped, if I start looking for pretty register offices I am already going down the slippery slope of bride hell! So will just use the nearest one.

My SIL is having a 'proper wedding' tomorrow, everything planned down to the last bread roll. Whole thing looks likely to be abandoned because of snow. They're gutted.

Compo - noy judging anyone else for doing this. I am saying I am thankful I am not because I really don't want the hassle and stress of organising a bog wedding. This is not a judgey judgingtons thread.

Oh rockbird that is sad - they must be gutted.

Heard on the news that a wedding before xmaswas in jeopardy because of the snow in Essex - some people heard their plight via local radio and came along and got the bridal party to church via tractor or something. is their wedding definitely cancelled?

My DP and I are planning to get married sometime soon, maybe this year. We are both divorced and both had small but traditionally organised weddings the first time round. This time we thought we would have a massive expensive wedding and go the whole hog.

Then i bought a weddings magazine with my Tesco shop.... OMG . Never seen such utter shallow excess in my life!

Now planning something even smaller than our previous weddings. Rather like yours. Sounds lovely and right up my street. xxx

Sounds great! Congratulations. And you are having a proper wedding - you love each other, you're making a formal statement of that: that's a wedding.

Btw: for my tuppence worth, what's annoying is when people want a wedding to be their opportunity to have friends and family act as extras in a big 'look at us' film. I've been invited to a wedding where guests were asked to wear the bride's colours to look right in the photo, and to one where the wedding list included nothing worth less than £100.

Frankly, if anything is not 'proper', not in the spirit of what a wedding is meant to be, it's that sort of thing - not what you're describing, OP.

Sound fab - you are soooo NBU!

Enjoy enjoy - it's the marriage not the ceremony that counts. Do it your way.

My DH and I got married this year after 19 years together - I wore a dress from Dorothy Perkins and shoes from primark - my DH wore the suit he bought 5 years ago from TKMaxx. 2 friends were witnesses and 4 more attended for a few bottles of champers and a nice meal after.
We didn't tell anyone til we got back. I felt sad that the kids weren't there but they are only 2 and 4 so would have been more stress if they were really!

YANBU. And I don't think you are being judgey judgington of others who do it differently either

Pippy that sounds lovely.

I have imaginings that I will go shopping for dress and eye something smart and lovely from Coast or Reiss or something. Reality will mean I will find something in the sale in Oasis or something and my dress will therefore cost £20 or something!

When we got engaged (2 years ago) I did buy Brides magaxine in excitement. That put me off!

Lol at wearing the bride's colours, like a jockey.

GetOrf, it sounds like the perfect wedding! But then I ran off abroad and let the holiday company do all the planning, so I might be a little biased