Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

for commenting to my dd about her friend's noisy consumption of her hot chocolate?!

96 replies

onthepier · 07/01/2010 16:36

My dd aged 10, had her friend for a sleepover last weekend, they get on well but I can't help but find this girl irritating. For instance, if I was on the computer, phone or even reading the paper I'd come out of the room to find her hurrying away, I knew full well she'd been lurking by the door each time although she denied it!

Anyway, the children played out in the snow and I made them hot chocolates when they came in. My dd's friend drank hers so NOISILY! It was slurp, slurp and when she started the noisy chomping of the marshmallows something in me snapped! They'd just about finished by then and were eager to get back out in the snow. My dd's friend went first and just before my dd followed I whispered, "Does she normally eat/drink that noisily, it's driving me mad!"

Anyway, I obv didn't realise my dd's friend had hung back, she didn't hear what was said but apparently made my dd repeat it which she did although she felt uncomfortable.
I didn't know any of this until they were back at school and this girl was giving me dirty looks and shouting she didn't like me at the school gate!

I'm feeling bad now as I like her parents and I wouldn't want there to be bad feeling, I'm sure she's told them as they haven't been nearly as chatty to me this week! Was I being unreasonable or is this girl oversensitive?

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 07/01/2010 16:38

Yes, you were unbelievably rude.

Saltire · 07/01/2010 16:39

I think you were very rude too. DS1 is one of the noiseiest eaters I know and I wouldn't mention it to him, let alone a friend of his if he did it too.

FiveGoMadInDorset · 07/01/2010 16:39

Very rude, no wonder that aren't as chatty.

displayuntilbestbefore · 07/01/2010 16:40

You were unreasonable. She's 10. Would you have commented if she had been an adult at your house eating or drinking noisily?
Not her fault you find her irritating.
You're a grown up, she's a child.

mayorquimby · 07/01/2010 16:41

do you really need to ask?

southeastastra · 07/01/2010 16:41

oh you cow!

DorotheaPlenticlew · 07/01/2010 16:41

You were an arse. She's ten FFS - be kinder. She is a child and if you find her "irritating", that's not a crime, but you are an adult and should be able to remember that young people are works in progress and their feeings are easily hurt quite badly.

larks35 · 07/01/2010 16:42

YWBU I'm afraid. My dad's slurping annoys me but he'd be mortified if I told him about it. She's only 10! I think you'll have to be extra nice to her if you want her to like you again. TBH thinking about it, you were rude and you should apologise IMO.

diddl · 07/01/2010 16:43

My daughter would have said something herself!

CirrhosisByTheSea · 07/01/2010 16:43

Agree, she's 10 and was in your home being looked after by you. Afraid it was very unkind of you and very bitchy actually to say this to your dd

Heqet · 07/01/2010 16:43

yes you were unreasonable and yes she was oversensitive but she's a child!

sounds to me like you'd have found something to be irritated about, no matter what she did! Because you just feel that way about her. Some children are just irritating it happens. But as the adult, it's your job to hide how you feel!

You should not have whispered anything to your dd, you didn't need to. Of course the other girl would want to know what you said. And she's going to be upset about it.

I'm not sure what you can do now, tbh. Tell her off for shouting at you? Tell her mother that she is being rude (and have her tell her mother what you said if she hasn't already), apologise? Let it go and wait for her to get over it?

GrimmaTheNome · 07/01/2010 16:44

My mum used to tell us we sounded 'like a cow squelching through mud' if we slurped.
I don't think she'd have said it to friends though.

cakeywakey · 07/01/2010 16:44

Yes, you were rude, and put your DD in a tricky position. You may need to apologise to deal with any bad feeling, especially if you want to all remain friendly.

Morloth · 07/01/2010 16:44

Extremely rude, why did you feel the need to say anything to your DD at all?

CirrhosisByTheSea · 07/01/2010 16:45

I really don't think a child who is spending the night in a friend's home, is being oversensitive to find that remark upsetting. I would have felt really wounded by that and it's hardly a welcoming atmosphere to be in.

ChilloHippi · 07/01/2010 16:47

You've probably made the child paranoid for life about it now. YABU.

borderslass · 07/01/2010 16:47

not unreasonable to think it but unreasonable to say it, noisy eaters really annoy me DH being one of the worst.

toddlerama · 07/01/2010 16:48

You were not only unreasonable, but mean.

bamboostalks · 07/01/2010 16:50

Surprised you are asking. Surely you must know the answer!

LoopyLoo2 · 07/01/2010 16:51

Actually I would have said something to the child there and then as eating noisily is unpleasant and rude and there is no need for it. I would say the same to my DSs as DS1 in particular sounds like a pig when he eats and has to be told to not do it.

It was however unreasonable to say something to your DD as it was not necessary and it was inevitable that this child would find out.

RainRainGoAway · 07/01/2010 16:52

onthepier - I HATE slurping too. Sitting next to my FIL is like an auditory torture chamber if there is soup on the menu.

But I guess a 10 year old would find that comment very strong. Having said that, perhaps her parents don't notice it and so perhaps you have spared her future social embarassment...just trying to find a good side to this and not doing too well.

peggotty · 07/01/2010 16:52

Totally unreasonable, and you sound more childish than the 10 year old. Poor girl.

traceybath · 07/01/2010 16:53

Did you not want the child there?

Obviously you were rude.

GetOrfMoiLand · 07/01/2010 16:55

What a spiteful thing to do.

And not only that, your dd has now been put in an awkward situation with a friend she clearly likes.

Nobody expects to you to be a saint - all of our kids have had friends that can be annoying - but to actually snipe behind the girl's back to your daughter is very childish. She is 10 and a guest in your house. What you did was rude and inhospitable.

SixtyFootDoll · 07/01/2010 16:59

What a nasty childish thing to do
You made that comment knowing full well she would hear you.
Hope you feel proud of yourself.