to think that there will be no lasting damage if I send my non RC DD to a RC School?

[thedollyridesout]

That's it really.

I have read the various faith school debates on here and I'm not quite sure which side I come down on.

I will not however be faking religion/lying in order to improve DD's chances.

It's just that I'm going to look around a Roman Catholic Middle School tomorrow that has an excellent reputation in the area. What bad thing/s could happen to DD if she went there?

i would do the same -

though i don't agree with the existence of faith schools, i definitely belive in good schools for my kids, and off they would go taking a healthy dose of scepticism with them. and i would supplement the schools sex-ed if i felt it wasn't thorough enough.

You didn't answer my first question.
OP, why would you send your dc somewhere that you think "bad things" might happen to them?

Am still shocked at OP and 'damaged'. that you would use that word. think that. DS's catholic school is very very hard to get into. Dh's family is catholic. I am not. But I love it all. Only go to church occassionally.
Although contraversial, I actually agree with Katty, if you don't want it, allow someone who does.
Our school does have to have a % of non catholics.
But I feel the same about them. Not bothered but if you aren't catholic, why would you want your child there ?
oh yes, probably becuae it has the best results and reputation in the county. that'll be it then !!
Although thats the reason we are there. it is the best school.

I think when chosing any school for your child you have to be confident that your child will find friends and be happy attending and be able to support its ethos and practices. If you are going to disagree with these things or are concerned that they might find making friends difficult then it is not the right school regardless of how good it's reputation.

I was about to come on and kick your arse till I read that you weren't intending to fake anything to get her in in which case... there were several non Catholics at my school and I don't think they found it much of a problem. Catholicism is a little bit cultural as well so the school will probably just carry on and assume that she's part of it all IYSWIM but I think it depends on how you're going to deal with what she is told tbh. If she comes home with religious tales are you going to say 'yes dear' and move on? In which case she'll be fine. If you start rampantly opposing everything the school teach with regard to religion then you might have problems.

The debate is whether or not over exposure to one religion is a good/bad thing for children. The answer is, I do not know.

There are those who think that it is 'damaging' and they have their stories to tell. It is those stories that I am interested in hearing so that I am fully informed should I decide to send my daughter to a such a school.

What damaging/bad things is it you are worried about? What did you see on the news?

tinierclanger Wed 06-Jan-10 11:27:43
Well I guess the damage might be ending up a Catholic! Not a burden I'd want to lay on my DC but if you want to take that risk, I guess the other benefits might be worth it.

The first sentence of your post is absolutely disgusting. It's just not ok to go around saying things like that. I am not a Catholic, I dislike religion and we practice none, but that is just terrible!

OP - It's not going to damage her. Most faith schools are much less religion orientated than others. Especially primary faith schools, it does step up a bit commitment wise in secondary school - IME.

Hiya,
I'm a liberal but practising Catholic and used to teach in a RC school. As I remember it, the quota thing said that at least half the kids had to be Catholic, so it's the other way round...
You can probably expect prayers in class and assembly, grace before lunch, things like people giving up stuff for Lent, taking advent quite seriously etc. Agree with all other posters, I have never, ever, heard abortion or contraception even mentioned either in Cath church or when I was working in the school. It's the seemingly weird USP that always gets focussed on by non-catholics, but really isn't the defining characteristic, iyswim.
There will be lots of emphasis on community, caring, being kind, fighting 3rd world debt etc too. Ask yourself if you would be comfortable to have your daughter advised to "live by gospel values/ follow the teachings of Christ" which is something she will probably hear a lot. I taught at primary school so not sure what will happen in PHSE. I'm guessing she won't get the "how to put a condom on a carrot" lesson which my kids so enjoyed at their non-dom school, but you never know - she might. Much more likely that sex ed will focus on feelings, relationships and values, which you might even see as a good thing.
I must admit, I bristled at the word damage -things have changed so very much since the days of 1930s Ireland you know....
I doubt your dd would convert but she might feel a bit confused if you have that sort of take on it. You'd need to open your mind a wee bit and try to find out what it's all about - 3 billion people worldwide are RC, it can't all be bad...!

PrammyMammy you can't have failed to notice the bad press that the RC church/faith has had recently.

I am not worried about anything in particular it just that there is a school of thought that says there is something to worry about. When I know what there is to worry about then I'll decide whether or not to worry about it .

I have lol, i don't really watch the news, can you link me?

Agree with prof. ds1 has been at his RC school for 1.5 yrs now. they say prayers, lent is important. but other than that I can't see anything that could be damaging. the most beautiful beautiful thing about the school is their totally loving ethos, quite full on god, about how we treat eachother.
it is so beautiful, it makes my heart melt.
how could anyone, RC or total atheist have any complaints about that.

read the OP. she doesn't think it will do any damage. she's asking if she is unreasonable in this.

If you are really concerned about subtle/overt RC indoctrination, why not canvass views from parents who already have dc there? They can tell you how hardcore assemblies are and what the school teaches about other religions.

I was educated at an RC convent, but come from a CoE background. I quite enjoyed all the God-iness of it - priests coming in to take Mass, extra days off for Saint's days, eccentric nuns trying to talk to us about sex and drugs (and yes, lots of anti-abortion propaganda), prayers at midday. Ah, the memories.

I have no idea if this still happens, but when I was at school, the "non-catholics", as we were called, were given separate RE lessons. I think this was because the RC girls were busy preparing for their confirmation and learning their catechisms etc.

Thank you Oblomov - I used to love it too when the kids had their family mass when I was a teacher and were so thoughtful, considerate and caring. It really is special and very counter-culture these days. I get upset when people are quite aggressive because I take my kids to church and to do first communion etc. It's hardly brainwashing, an hour a week of trying to be good and kind, think of others etc, in this mad material world we live in. Rest of week is, of course, devoted to playing Grand Theft Auto and cheering on Simon Cowell being foul to people with obvious mental problems.

I can see where Strictly is coming from.
But I think in a busy area, if you have a strict priest like ours the situation of non-catholics infiltrating (!) takes care of itself - through having to prove yourselves to him... and if it's not a busy area, then it would certainly be unchristian to turn away non-catholics when there are spare places anyway.

I'm not Catholic myself but my husband and children are, and I have my son's name down for our local Catholic primary school which is heavily oversubscribed every year.

As a result we have to fill out forms every week to prove we've been to mass, and they after our "catholicness" had been verifien by the priest, it's closest first in the catchment area. This year it probably won't reach us as there are so many siblings.

The family mass is sheer hell (pardon the pun) standing room only for some, children shrieking and running around, bored looking parents who you just know are only there for the school.
We are the not the most devout, and the school is certainly one of the factors that got my husband attending church again, (along with a desire for church to be part of family values for us and also for church school being a good way to instill christian family and discipline in to our children) - but we do try not to be late, listen throughout the service, control our children etc... and if we don't get a place at the school then so be it. But it must be very irritating for the rest of the churchgoers, especially the most devout and those without small children, have to put up with it.

p.s. re: any "damage" (Catholic guilt/strict punishments/instilling feelings of shame I imagine you mean..) depends on the school.

My Bf's local RC primary barely mentions religion outside of the usual assemblies and an RC lesson. Whereas ours recently had the children re-enact the crucifiction - hoisting one of them on a cross and everything (I shit you not) - and a little girl who got curious and touched something she shoudn't resulting in breaking some school property was banned from playtime for a week, aged 6! It varies so do your research.

My ds used to go to a Catholic school, purely because i felt it was the best school in the area and was on my door step.

I didnt lie or fake to get him there, they had to take so many children who were not Catholic in order to get any funding from the Government.

I choose the school because i liked the fact they were strict and enforced their policies.

They turned out to be law onto themselves and i finally removed him the school, after the caretaker got hold of ds by his lapels and slammed him against the wall for running in the corridor and called him a 'fucking idiot'

When i complained to the school they tried to pass it off as 'physical restraint'. Ds might have been behaving like an idiot, but i wasnt going to be treated like one!

"Damaged in the sense of being spoon fed a particular type of religion to the exclusion of all others (bar the odd lesson about them). "

My DD went to RC primary and is now at an RC secondary.

At both schools they have covered other religious beliefs very fully.

Both schools take in children who are non-RC. In Yr3 most of the children were preparing for first communion. Obviously the non-RC children were not, but they had alternative lessons for them while the others were preparing. Also the school tried very hard not to exclude the children who were not doing first communion by having a big celebration party at the end of term that included everyone.

In Yr8 at secondary those children who wanted to could get confirmed but, other than passing on the information, the secondary school weren't involved at all. Most didn't do it and there was no pressure at all.

Putting aside the notion of "damage", I have to say it really depends on the school, and you will get a sense of this when you visit.

I would ask them directly about it.

For us, our decision not to use any of the excellent local faith schools was that we felt that as parents we wanted to be seen to be wholly supportive of the school's ethos. So we trudge a little further for a just as good non faith school.

I was raised by Catholics and went to a Catholic school. I have never had religious faith myself and left with a healthy (IMHO) sense of scepticism about organised religion. No damage to me.

However

The psychological damage to my sister was immense. She is gay. Family and friends have always been supportive, but spending her teenage years being told drip-drip that her sexuality was wrong in the eyes of God was enough to fuck her up properly.

I guess the chances are your daughter won't be gay, but at this stage she is most likely too young to know. Myself, I would never risk sending a child of mine to a Catholic school.

I went to Catholic schools - convents. I remember in primary learning The Angelus by heart and the whole class having to stand up at 12 noon and recite it. I can't remember exactly what time of year that was, probably Lent. We would also recite the Our Father in Latin in the mornings.

If I had a particularly difficult date, I would leap out of my chair and scream "I must say the Angelus" and start. Jolly useful (thank you Mary)(sometimes I used the Pater Noster though). If that's blasphemous, I'm sorry, but she really did get me out of some situations and I am grateful.

So your daughter may learn some good strategies for dealing with pushy men in later life.

I've just had a look at the supplementary application form for the school in question.

Would you be about this section:

ON THE COMMON APPLICATION FORM WHICH YOU HAVE COMPLETED, HAVE YOU NAMED
ST GREAT SCHOOL AS YOUR: (This information will not affect your application; it will be used solely for school planning and staffing).

FIRST PREFERENCE [ ] SECOND PREFERENCE [ ] THIRD PREFERENCE [ ]
Please tick as appropriate

Or am I still BU?

erm looks like to me you need to put first prefernce

I think that form is pretty standard, i filled out one of those. It has something to do with oversubscription if i remember rightly.