to think that there will be no lasting damage if I send my non RC DD to a RC School?

[thedollyridesout]

That's it really.

I have read the various faith school debates on here and I'm not quite sure which side I come down on.

I will not however be faking religion/lying in order to improve DD's chances.

It's just that I'm going to look around a Roman Catholic Middle School tomorrow that has an excellent reputation in the area. What bad thing/s could happen to DD if she went there?

FULLY involved oops

What's the worst that could happen -
She may be forced to attend mass occasionally leading to intense boredom
She may be told that the rythm method of contraception is reliable
She may be told that abortion is a sin, as is sex before marriage
She may be taught the catholic doctrine in compulsory RE rather than anything interesting like comparative religion or ethics
Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm That's about the worst of what happened to me at RC secondary school.

She may start to believe what she is told and end up converting. That didn't happen to me but you never know.
She will, however, get to listen to some truly amazing singing from her school choir.

oooh its going off topic alrady! fight fight fight!

religeon shouldn't be in schools

however as it is, as a catholic i sent my kids to a catholic school becuase i felt that the school seconded my belief system which my children were taught by me through church attendance - school is simply backing me up.

HOWEVER! a lot of lapsed catholics send their kids toRC school becuase they can get in - having had the dunking and the piss up with egg n cress butties after the child was born.

so if i had my way.

you would only be able to get your kid in a catholic school if you served your time at church...i'm thinking clock card to punch in every sunday.

in this regard you see, lapsed catholics and non catholics are the same.

you send your kid to a faith school becuase of the faith - if you haven't got any faith - baptism or no - then you shouldn't take places.

I just don't get it. An RC school is a FAITH school, so if you don't want your children to go to mass or believe abortion is a sin they why don't you send your child to a school with the same beliefs as you?

There are many, many schools of no religious belief that won't teach your child anything to do with one specific religion. I really can't see why someone would think an RC school would 'damage' their child but still send them there as it's a good school. There are schools for all faiths here so there is no need to send your child to a school if you don't believe anything that will be taught there

She may be told that the rythm method of contraception is reliable.
This is not true -not true. not even taught until senior school.

She may be told that abortion is a sin, as is sex before marriage.
abortion isn't discussed - the POV in RE may be that 'all life is precious' but abortion not mentioned - esp in infant junior school.

She may be taught the catholic doctrine in compulsory RE rather than anything interesting like comparative religion or ethics.

it will be predominantly catholic until secondary - where they do indeed learn about other religeons, depending on the school and the area this may be done earlier - it isn't unheard of for there tp be trips to local mosques or interfaith services for eg

She may start to believe what she is told and end up converting. That didn't happen to me but you never know.

not likley if the parent doesn't believe - the bigest influence is the parent.

She will, however, get to listen to some truly amazing singing from her school choir.
true

i mean sex ed to that level ( ie contraception) not taught until senior school. my dd was taught in sex ed that she should use condoms - yes at a catholic school er

Yes I said it was secondary - didn't read the OP properly. I really, honestly, was told that the rythm method worked. This wasn't in sex ed (such as it was) but in the equivalent of PSHE. Likewise re abortion. We were shown a video of a woman having a D&C. It was awful. We were also shown a video called 'make love last' about how great it is to just hold hands. Lol.

I am a non-Catholic who attended a good Catholic primary school. I loved it, but I do remember spending a hell of a lot of time watching other people attending Mass, and there was a lot of religion built into the the school day. It certainly didn't damage me, but as far as I was concerned was entirely pointless and a huge waste of time.

OP - I think if you are worried your child will be damaged the you have a responsibility to keep your child out of RC schools at all costs. The same you would woth a boot camp or some other damaging institution.

Do people think Catholics go around throwing holy water on unmarried mums and waving rosary beads over prams? Very strange. It bears no relation to reality. Maybe they do that at this school?

The reality so far [for us] seems to be learning about giving some of what you have to help others, thinking about what God and other people will think if you do something unkind, and learning about Christmas as a time of rebirth and a new start, rather than buying and spending and eating. Oh, and recycling as a celebration of the special care the 'creator' put into making the earth. Doesn't seem too harsh really.

The most extreme view we have been exposed to, as Catholics at a Catholic school, was a Christmas card from another parent sold in aid of pro-life.

Haven't read all the posts but I went to an RC school myself and I'm not catholic. I loved school and did really well there. The only thing was I couldn't join in with their preparation for first communion and first confession and obviously I couldn't take communion when the school had mass. But it left no lasting damage and I didn't feel I was being excluded or anything. In fact, I've put my dd's name down for a local RC school and have no concerns at all about it.

Wow...what an offensive question...do you think people who are Catholics are damaged?

If the school has an excellent reputation she will probably learn to think for herself, which is surely the point of a good education anyway.

Not sure about damage, but in answer to the OP's post, it might be a somewhat strange experience for her. For reasons best known to themselves, my parents moved here from another country and then placed their Jewish children in a catholic school. It was quite a sweet school, but the culture clash was a bit much. My parents were certainly bemused when their 4 year old was word perfect on the Lord's Prayer, and the knowledge I picked up was good enough for a 100% score in a secondary school RE test on christianity years later. I guess our case was a bit extreme (having grown up in non-Christian countries, I don't think I even knew about Christmas till my time in this school), but you might want to think about how you deal with the tension between what you do at home and what happens in school. In any case, we were moved out after a year (although not entirely down to the catholic thing). Bizarrely we were not the only non-Christian children in the school.

Well I'm a Catholic and went to Catholic schools all the way through and never really had anything forced upon us. Yes we had RE - but then so do all schools, and they did teach us about other world religions. Yes we had some kind of moral framework to discussions about how you should live, and it happened to be informed by Catholicism - but then most of that would fit with most religions or secular views of how people should behave towards others (be kind!). Can't see a problem really. TBH there are always lots of Catholics in these schools who aren't really practising anyway. Just a bit because we don't have a Catholic school in our parish.

My upper Catholic Girls school was magic. A mn AIBU has nothing at all on the bun fights we used to have on contraception.

There were lots of very traditional muslim girls who would be going to Pakistan to marry at 16, girls of very traditional muslim families who would be going to Med school at 18, Catholics [who may have just been getting drunk at 18 but that would be rumour], Hindu's, CofE and atheists [should that be Atheists?].

We used to have the best debates. Truly thought out, argued, considered and passionate. On all things from abortion, to education of women, to work and women, to motherhood, women in business...you name it.

So empowering.

The main thing I remember about RE was the amazing food the mosque would provide on school trips. As opposed to the stale biscuits after mass . And making doves from paper.

We were given condoms on World Aids Day. We were 6th form, but still. Impressive I think, and 18 years ago.

But some people don't have a choice. Their local school is RC, and therefore, their children attend.

Littlefish I think the OP does have a choice, and if she thinks her DC might be damaged by the catholic school she really shouldn't be considering taking a place. Quite hypocritical and offensive to post using that wording tbh.

If you put your trust in St. Teresa you should be able to avoid permanent damage.

DS goes to a Catholic school, but they are very relaxed about the religious aspect (as am I). He appears undamaged (well not by the school anyway).

As long as you are not lying about it can't see the problem myself.

If the Catholic school is the best (not just for results, but all round) then why not? lots of kids go to CofE primaries because they are the local village school and there's no choice

To be honest, if it was the best by miles, I would consider lying/pretending so good for you that you won't

All schools have some sort of religious input and kids always take what they want from it.

We tend to just express our own beliefs but acknowledge that other people have other views. I guess it depends though on how devout it all is and whether Catholic doctrine is presented as fact. Visiting the school and attending events might give you an idea of whether it's at a level you could live with.

Good luck with it!

I apologise to those of you that are offended by my OP. It was written in the spirit of MN and the on-going faith school debate. As I have pointed out, I am not sure which side I come down on on that particular debate.

OP, why would you send your dc somewhere that you think "bad things" might happen to them? Have you been watching The Magdalene Sisters?

No, just the news.

I'm an Anglican, married to a Catholic and with children being brought up as Catholics (we aren't THAT religious, lots of it is his Belgian family background, but anyway the elder one has now done her first communion etc). I would want to know exactly how 'full-on' the school is ie go and visit. For instance the one in our area is VERY. Grabs you from the moment you walk in the door. To be frank, I didn't want my DCs to go to a school which might make them worry that mummy was going to go to hell as she wasn't Catholic. Another (Catholic) mum at the school they actually attend felt exactly the same way - said the Catholic school reminded her of her own school which had a big 'guilt' thing. But many RC schools very different and I know people (mainly Catholic but also not) who have sent their children to them and said the R.E. taught them was about the same as that taught in Assembly and lessons in most state schools 20 years ago.