To feel depressed that exW took DSSs to Miami

[Bonsoir]

for a fortnight at Christmas and for them to have come back having gained a huge new Abercrombie & Fitch wardrobe and 4kgs apiece?

Oh God, is this still going on?

Anna is Anna. She's BU. Not much else to say is there?

LadyBiscuit - I am right there with you re her DD - I wonder if her father will subect her to weekly weigh ins as a teenager? Very worrying thought indeed.

Also, Bonsoir - if the DSS fails to meet his target each week - what are the repercussions for him? Will you starve him the following week?

Will he be punished - what effect could that have on his self esteem - not only does his father think he is fat, he is now also failing to reach said father's standards?

Why would I want to do yet more of that, bellissima? I've already given you a good example.

There is no punishment going on here - the punishment has already happened (being fattened like a goose over the holidays).

Then if you can't refute what I say don't tell me I'm wrong. Oh and if you think attending the European Schools gives you an insight into social and cultural differences - don't make me laugh!

Bonsoir - I notice you never answer queries re the effect on your DD? How would you feel if your DP starts to insist on weighing her every week and giving feedback?

I've always thought Paris was a bit overrated. But, this thread has really brought to light how twisted it is -- at least in Anna's circles but I suspect also outside of her circles. I find it really rather OCD for people to go around talking about their weight in casual conversation. And it is definitely not normal for a teenage boys to care about his weight, let alone get depressed on a matter of 8 or 9 lbs.

Also odd that Anna's weight never fluctuates. Do you not ever go out and "Oh what the Hell, I'm on hols. I'll have two croissants.

Definitely some food issues here -- and not just Anna's. And clearly Anna is the only one on the thread who doesn't see them for what they are.

I wonder if the boys' mother thinks the whole food obsession is not good for the boys and said, "Hey, you know what? We're on holiday. Have whatever you want. And if you gain a bit of weight don't worry because we'll go shopping for some new clothes." And maybe the boys said, "Oh yeah... Anna hardly lets us eat. Can I have two?"

The implication from both Anna and Eaudevie is that those of us who think this attitude to food is unhealthy must just be fat ourselves.

Well - I'm a string bean and I think you're barking

I think you are completely forgetting the point I have made many times on this thread - everyone weighs themselves in France all the time and I think it is normal and healthy to do so. It's part of our lives.

But you know what? I know exactly what my parents weigh too - it's not a taboo in my family at all. And guess what? My parents are slim, healthy and happy!

LOL at what the hell I'll have two croissants - no, never. I would feel horrible if I ate two croissants! Too full. Sick. I don't want two croissants.

Lol at croissants making you feel full! They are literally at the top of the GI scale as they are so rubbish at making you feel full.

I have a scale in my bathroom. I use it often: weekly, sometimes daily. But I don't discuss it in casual conversation at parties or at the school gate... or anywhere other than this thread come to think of it.

And to be fair, I think Anna's DP's attitudes toward weight and appearance are sicker than Anna's. Perhaps's this is sexist. But I expect women to be more concious of things like weight, appearance, and fashion. But for a man to freak out about his teenage some gaining 9 lbs over the Christmas hols is just plain weird. Is this a common attitude of middle aged men in Paris?

Croissants have a very high fat content, which makes your liver get the jitters and signal that you should stop eating >> feeling full.

A propos of nothing, I reiterate that I find it weird that people continue to insist on the rather medieval idea that because they are on holiday they should overeat. Why? What is intrinisically enjoyable about overeating?

Bonsoir - you are talking bolleaux to say that everyone weighs themselves in France all the time .

We have spent a great deal of time in Evian and the surrounds over the last 11 years as FiL lives there. One look around the place tells you that people do not weight themselves all the time and clearly do not obsess about their weight constantly. Perhaps its a Parisian obsession but certainly not the whole of France, as far as I can tell.

OMG, Anna and her DP would definitely talk about my fat arse if they say me in the street. This thread is going to make me go on a diet. As I've just realise how incredibly obese I must appear to others.

foie gras anyone?

Penthesileia - I quite agree, overeating is very unpleasant.

I love eating different food when on holiday - we had a fabulous fortnight in Tuscany last summer eating lots of things that we don't encounter easily or at all here in Paris. But you can eat things in moderation and enjoy them fully.

Overeating is just like any other form of overconsumption (clothes and make-up, anyone?) - subject to the law of marginal returns!

My 6 year old DD would not be full if she ate two croissants for lunch. And she has reputation for eating like a bird and is thin -- although not anorexic.

Well of course she wouldn't - croissants aren't an appropriate meal for lunch. What a funny example.

Personally I would rather be fat than pompous and shallow.

Ok, the neurotic control of weight is probably not that healthy. But the gentle watching and checking of it is not unhealthy.

Thing is, there is a problem in the UK of obesity. I would guess that the majority of people who become fat and overweight did so - not because they have an eating disorder - but because they ate too much over too long a period of time - a little too much every day: an overeat of a chocolate bar a day results in a lb gain in weight every 2 weeks; over a year, that's nearly 2 stone. Stopping yourself from doing that, and not giving yourself licence to overeat - "ah, go on, a little more can't harm you" is not self-abuse; and encouraging your children to feel the same is not abuse either.

I don't think someone whose appetite is so restricted that two croissants would make her too full is likely to have a good understanding of "overeating".

How many croissants is overeating, Anna?

Did someone mention earlier in the thread that Bonsoirs husband had had affairs and she forces herself to have sex with him so he will not have another?! I think that says it all really...

Odd that both my sister (who has lived in France since she was a year old, is living with a Frenchman, so no 'getting marrie dyoung, straight out of the home and staying at home until 25 there!) and that my SIL is French and has lived with my BIL for a year prior to marrying him. Neither of them own a pair of scales (I only know that as this thread prompted me to ask them) and neither has ever asked me my weight or discussed weight with me.

oh I have to leave this thread now. Bonsoir's superior attitude knows no bounds and I cannot abide the way she talks down to posters she disagrees with.

I also think that perhaps we are giving her what she wants which is her craving for attention. Clearly DP is pre-occupied with his sons (as he should be) and the conversation at home seems clearly dominated by the failings of the ex-W.

Poor Bonsoir. Stamping her feet and crying out "look at ME. Look at what this is all doing to ME".

Reading between the lines, you are obsessed with your great capabilities as a parent and will refuse to acknowledge any failings on your own part. How very insecure you are. You say you enjoy a debate but the whole point about good debating skills is that you could argue for either side. You clearly can't see anyone elses point of view except for your own. Dogmatic doesn't even come close to it.