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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To make DH explain what happened to DD's picture?

130 replies

WastedYouth · 31/12/2009 09:15

Just before the chrismas holidays, DD drew a christmas scene at school and stuck cotton wool etc to it.

I stuck it to the kitchen cupboard.

Last night, I asked DH to make me a cup of tea. Admittidly I could have done it myself and I fully admit I was being a bit lazy. However he did it and then shouted of me to go and get it. I went into the kitchen just as he slung the teabag at the kitchen cupboard and shouted "ave it!"

The teabag hit DD's picture and exploded on impact leaving tea splattered all over the cupboard, the ceiling, the wall and the burglar alarm. Worst bit was though that DD's picture is totally ruined.

DH took the pic down before she saw it and I said he should admit what he's done to her. He said there is no need to upset her and it was all my fault anyway for being lazy.

Yes I was being lazy, but should he admit what he's done?

OP posts:

gingernutlover · 31/12/2009 09:18

yes he should tell her

thats quite funny though "ave it"?????????????

Original poster

WastedYouth · 31/12/2009 09:19

he was just in a daft mood. I think he just forgot her picture was there tbh.

OP posts:

madamearcati · 31/12/2009 09:20

i would wait and see if she even notices that it has gone.She probably won't !

bloss · 31/12/2009 09:20

Message withdrawn

Intergalactic · 31/12/2009 09:21

I don't quite get it - was the teabag supposed to hit you?
The 'you were being lazy' argument is a load of rubbish - it's perfectly reasonable for you to ask him to make a cup of tea, and even if it wasn't, he was the one carrying on in a ridiculous fashion - you certainly didn't ask him to do that.

Yes I think he should tell her - what else will you tell her? That you've binned it because you were sick of it? Much easier to just tell her and explain that it was an accident and he should apologise.

gingernutlover · 31/12/2009 09:22

"But the way he treats you is an issue."

have i missed something there?

dustycups · 31/12/2009 09:22

i dont understand why he shouldnt make you a cup a tea, i expect you do much more for him!

lisad123wantsherquoteinDM · 31/12/2009 09:23

I wouldn't tell her until she asks and then when she does just tell her tea got knocked over and onto it and it got ruined.
Dont make such an issue, it only a picture

GibbonInARibbon · 31/12/2009 09:23

Why on earth was he throwing a teabag and hard enough to explaode over a fair portion of the kitchen?

Tryharder · 31/12/2009 09:26

Eh? I don't understand.

Was he cross about having to make you a cup of tea and throwing a teabag in a strop?

Or was he trying to lob the teabag into the bin which is next to the cupboard and was being funny?

If it's the first, then he's a knob and YANBU. I really don't get how you can say you are lazy and it's really your fault just because you asked your DH to make you a cup of tea. I mean, big deal!!!! I expect my DH to make me a cup of tea everytime he makes one for himself and vice versa.

scrimble · 31/12/2009 09:28

"...I said he should admit what he's done to her."

Erm, don't you mean what he's done to her picture? He hasn't done anything "to her".

Or have I missed something?

Original poster

WastedYouth · 31/12/2009 09:30

Scrimble, that was meant to say "her picture"

He was just trying to be funny. He used to chuck tea bags at the wall all the time in our old house, this is a first for this house which makes me think he was trying to piss me off in protest of being asked to make a cuppa.

OP posts:

whifflegarden · 31/12/2009 09:33

I wouldn't tell her unless she asks, and even then wouldn't make into a big thing. She'll take her cue from you. Children's belongings/creations often get damaged and they usually don't notice.

JemL · 31/12/2009 09:53

I wouldn't make him tell her about the picture, but I would expect him to make as many cups of tea as I wanted for the next week!

santaschristmascakeywakey · 31/12/2009 10:01

He didn't intentionally ruin it. Why upset her and him by making an issue out of it? If she asks where it's gone, can you just say that there was an accident and it had to come down. I wouldn't bring it up otherwise.

LynetteScavo · 31/12/2009 10:10

Didn't you get mighty pissed off with him for throwing teabags around in your old house? Tea stains, doesn't it?

Just explain aout the picture if she asks..tell her your DH is a tea bag flinging weirdo.

Do you get though a lot of bleach?

edam · 31/12/2009 10:17

Either your dh has a very strange sense of humour or he's a bully. What on earth do you mean 'I was being lazy'? Partners DO make each other drinks all the time. I make coffee for dh, he makes tea for me.

I hope HE cleared up his mess. And yes, if dd notices her picture has gone, he should explain that he ruined it - he can make out it was an accident and apologise but he should do the explaining. And I hope it's cured him of getting angry and lashing out when he has to make a cup of tea, FFS.

ImSoNotTelling · 31/12/2009 10:18

Why is he flinging teabags around the place?

Who cleared up the mess?

Tryharder · 31/12/2009 11:16

Oh OK. If it wasn't meant nastily then i wouldn't make a fuss but quite honestly, I'm not sure I would tolerate someone deliberately throwing used teabags against the walls/furniture as a joke. It's a bit er.... weird?

morningpaper · 31/12/2009 11:18

I agree - the picture is irrelevant. Your husband is a bully. It isn't acceptable to throw things at your partner in a fury.

My children's pictures get thrown out as soon as possible. Don't get distracted by the picture - your husband needs to apologise to YOU for the way he treated you, not to your daughter.

luckyblackcat · 31/12/2009 11:22

How old is he, 19? Sort of behaviour that used to go on in rancid student digs iirc - yuck.

bruxeur · 31/12/2009 11:26

MP, are you drunk?

hippipotamiHasLost77lbs · 31/12/2009 11:33

I am completely about this thread - and why would MP be drunk - her answer seems perfectly normal?

But your dh should not be throwing teabags around teh place - how old is he, 12? And he used to do this all the time in your old house?? Does he think he is part of the Young Ones?
Secondly, you should be able to ask him to make you a cup of tea without feeling you are lazy. Are you his servant or something?
Thirdly - chuck the picture and get dh to explain if dd asks about it.

morningpaper · 31/12/2009 11:36

Er no I'm not drunk

Does your husband throw tea-bags at you with enough force to splatter all over the kitchen? Is that normal behaviour in an adult relationship? I'm just baffled that anyone would do such a thing. Does he then spend ten minutes on his hands and knees cleaning up? Or is that Wife Work?

mayorquimby · 31/12/2009 11:47

"Your husband is a bully. It isn't acceptable to throw things at your partner in a fury. "

Where are people getting all this fury and bullying? didn't the op make it quite clear it was a joke?

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