MIL feeding my 17mth champagne truffles

[thisweathersajoke]

I was incensed yesterday after my MIL was slyly feeding my 17mth son these chocolates (he NEVER is given chocolate by us) - but was finally calmed down by my DH.

But the result of her doing that today has been him doing 8 rancid poos throughout the day instead of his usual 2-3, including a pile over the living room carpet after removing his nappy because of his RED RAW bottom - surely caiused by these crappy chocolates and the other rubbish she passed to him.

Maybe overreacting, but am sure that she did it just to annoy me, as she knows that i am a bit of a nazi about his food. After having 4 kids herself she should know better.

More worryingly, she will be having DS while I am in hospital giving birth in approx 3 weeks.

Does he get hyper from chocolate?

If so, let her have him for an extended period so she gets to see, and deal with the end result of her actions.

Say, she hands him back saying "cor, he has done million poos, and been all over the place, I am exhausted" then pop open your most angelic eyes and ask "did you give him any chocolate? Chocolate is normally the reason when this occurs" and just change the topic.

It worked with me MIL, and my dhs aunt.

My sister-in-law tried to give my 2 year old mulled wine 2 weeks ago. Didn't even ask me if she was allowed, asked DD directly. DD said no and SIL told her it was full of fruit! FFS- she hasn't got any kids btw. Was furious!

The excitement and change of routine at xmas could just have easily been what upset his bowels.

Isn't the most likely interpretation of MIL's actions to be that she (and whoever else was about) were having some truffles and they gave the kid some as well? Not everything is a slight, sometimes stuff just happens in the course of things.

OP your DS had a bit too much rich food over Christmas and had a few extra poos. He got a bit of a nappy rash...is there something I am missing? Surely, going easy on the treats for a couple of days and a bit of Sudocream would sort the whole issue?

I too like to keep chocolate and sweets to minimum - lots of people think I'm just being silly but I don't care about that! This is YOUR child you are talking about and you as parents should be the ones to set ground rules and YANBU to expect people to folow them!

I don't think a little chocolate at times like this hurt though but there is no need for the champagne and either way it is still up to you - I was absolutely disgusted on xmas eve when my FIL gave my 21 month old liquorice allsorts!

Don't feel you have to feed your child something you don't want to because of pressure from others. Alot of people give these foods in moderation, others all the time and feel there is nothing wrong with it - it is personal choice.

As for when you are not around - give clear instructions and emphasise that if you find out that something you have not approved is given then you will not be asking her to look after your child in the future - just be careful though, my MIL didn't give bedtime milk once because I had not put the bottle ready in the fridge! They need to know to use their initiative too!

I agree with everything aeschylus said.

what I meant in my post was that the op's smug and over bearing attitude would cause me to want to do the opposite of what she wanted.

I think you need to lighten up, with your MIL, OP. It's Christmas. I'm sure she adores your DS. And you yourself should be grateful for all her help and support that you're going to need.

Kittywise - smug and overbearing, because i cae what my ds eats?
And as for free babysitting, expecting MIL to put 'life on hold', really, I think thats a little too far....apart from the chocolate feeding incident there really is no further information on 'babysitting duties' in discussion here - so perhaps you could lighten up.

You a MIL perhaps.....? lol

Yes there are some funny people on here lighten up its Christmas even toddlers like treats as well.

Can I nominate Seeker for the Quote of The Week? For this

"Hold the Front Page! Toddler's grandma gave him some chocolate"

In a deliberate act of passive aggression on Christmas Day, a woman gave her toddler grandchild half a chocolate without the express permission of the child's mother, a shocked court heard today.

Sentencing, the Judge told the defendant "You are a disgrace. Your act was deliberately intended to cause maximum upset and was targetted directly at the mother of your grandchild. I have no hesitation in sentencing you to receiving 15 years cold shoulder and huffing, and for all your actions to be misinterpreted and deconstructed on internet forums from this day forth. Leave my court a marked woman and hang your head in shame"

and her subsequent post:

She is his grandmother. She is important in his life. She loves him. She may not parent exactly the way you do, but be thankful he has loving people around him forming relationships with him. PLEASE don't risk spoiling this for anything that isn't actually dangerous.

A friend spoke to me about her MIL in a similar situation a few years ago. I told her this: look at your child, think of the love you have for him, the feelings you have for him, the way you want to protect him from harm.

This is the way that your MIL looked at your DH 30 years ago, these are the feelings that she had for him.

She wanted to protect him and she brought him up to the best of her ability, going by the advice that was at that time available.

Things have changed, advice has changed, even in the past 8 years since I had my first DD.

If you assume that your MIL is just doing her best, loving your child as she loved her own child, then you will see that it is more important than whether she gives him a bit of chocolate or a swig of cola occasionally.

No, not a mil just not as uptight as you! You come across as a control freak tbh.

at least it was champagne mil is a classy burd.and yes given you admit you are anal bet she chortled at every illicit nibble

in 3weeks time i expect she will be feeding fray bentos.nothing that you can do either,stuck in hospital...

But isn't that what gps are for? Giving their gcs rubbish food that they wouldn't get at home?

Another thought. Knowing my own mum/MIL they don't purposely give things that aren't allowed (now I'm on dc3 that's not much at all ). They just go 'Oooh this cake/choc/sweet is lovely, bet little gc would love some of this' It's a love thing, lol.

So re choc: YABU, but re alcoholic choc YANBU, although agree with some of the others that if it really contained alcohol then the toddler would more than likely have spat it right out. (That's what I used to do anyway)

"Kittywise - smug and overbearing, because i cae what my ds eats?"

We are talking about one chocolate as far as I can see that doesn't equate to feeding a child exclusively on takeaways.

This type of thread reminds me why I actually don't like MN.

I'd just warn her about the rancid poos tbh that'll put her off giving him rubbish when she has to change the nappies!

I'm still on the edge of my seat after finally reading this whole thread...........Someone tell me of the horrors of MUSHROOMS!!

And oh yeah, a little choc is fine. I guess your MIL was just doing what MIL's do even tho she did know how you would feel about it.

I've tried to gently suggest you might want to have a different perspective but clearly you know best and I should probably walk away. I know I shouldn't, but I'm getting on my high horse. I always try to avoid wading in with the whole 'don't you know how lucky you are' arguments but, on this occasion I can't help it - even if it is a petty little argument.

Both of my parents died before I had children, and DH's mother died whilst I was pregnant with DS1. So neither of my boys have ever known a grandmother. My elder sister does a sterling job of trying to fill that void but it is not the same. I never got on with my mother in law and she probably would have driven me to distraction but she would have adored them and it breaks my heart that DSs don't have her (or my mum) in their lives.

Do you have any idea how lucky you are to have family who care and love your children and want to treat them with love and kindness - even if that is doing something you disapprove of. Has it ever occurred to you that one day, when he is older, he might need help or advice, or need to turn to someone for support who does not slavishly obey everything their parents lay down before them. I hope, for your sake, that his grandmother is still around to fill that role. That there is someone he can turn to when he disagrees with her parents.

And as for "I was absolutely disgusted on xmas eve when my FIL gave my 21 month old liquorice allsorts!". FFS, I know it's only semantics but there are plenty of horrific things people do to children, either out of violence or neglect, that are worthy of your disgust. I should save it for something more damaging than a fucking liquorish allsort.

I'll get my coat.

??no chocolate, mushrooms, peanuts until 4/5 because they are allergans ??? surely these are the very children who will develop reactions because their immune systems are so underdeveloped - do you keep your child in a bubble and have antibacterial spray constantly to hand ???

oh behave offer a full balanced diet,exclude only for proven diagnosed allergy (and i dont mean a quack in health shop telling you avoid dairy for spurious reason)

mushrooms,chocolate,bring it on