Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Original poster

to think that my uncle really shouldn't consider himself a Christian

118 replies

spicemonster · 26/12/2009 15:26

My dad has only one sibling, his younger brother. My dad is 75, his brother 7 years younger. Their mother (my nan) is 99. She lives on her own (by choice) and every year she either spends Christmas with my family or my uncle's. Said uncle was supposed to visit her on Xmas Eve as she was spending the day with my family this year. He didn't go, telling her he was 'too busy'. And then he 'forgot' to call her on xmas day. He rang my dad last night about 7pm and said he thought it was too late for him to call her and he'd ring her today instead.

She rang my dad this morning and my uncle still hadn't called her.

AIBU to think it's a bit bloody rich to consider yourself a good Christian (he is a Church warden and 'very involved' in his local church) when you can't even be arsed to contact your elderly mother at Christmas?

OP posts:

thisparachuteisaknapsack · 27/12/2009 13:42

Totally agree with secondcoming. I hate that Christian and Nice Guy have become interchangable in peoples vocab/mind.

bloss · 27/12/2009 15:18

Message withdrawn

MeltedTreeChocolates · 27/12/2009 17:45

Was the OP a joke?

I am a Chrisian and hope people dont expect me to be perfect all the time. I do my best but still human at the end of the day.

If the OP is not a joke then yes YABU - very unreasonable. Maybe he should have phoned but OTT reaction. To question his faith based on this one incident is very very unfair.

Original poster

spicemonster · 27/12/2009 19:07

Apart from you bloss - you were the honourable exception.

And I'm delighted to have had it spelled out to me so clearly (over and over again - this is clearly a subject that you feel strongly about) that I don't shouldn't expect Christians to be decent human beings - it's a huge weight off my mind to know that I can shout you down next time I get some pious nonsense off one of you

And a very merry Christmas once again to you all

OP posts:

Original poster

spicemonster · 27/12/2009 19:08

don't

OP posts:

Original poster

spicemonster · 27/12/2009 19:10

There is a massive history which I haven't bored you all with where he has let my nan down time and again and my dad (and by extension the rest of us) have had to pick up the pieces. I thought this was pretty poor behaviour without you needing to know about all the other crap though.

I have totally misunderstood what Christianity means clearly - this thread's been hugely enlightening, as I said earlier.

OP posts:

WhereYouLeftIt · 27/12/2009 19:30

There you go again with your sweeping statements. And I sincerely doubt this thread has enlightened you in any shape or form. You came to it with an opinion and you undoubtedly leave with same.

You deliberately chose to not reveal that this is the latest in a long line of incidents, then get all uppity because people say 'well if he doesn't usually behave that way, cut him some slack'. What is the sense in that?

You clearly have decided that he presents himself as a 'good man' within his church circle whilst neglecting your grandmother. If this is the case, then he may well be a hypocrite - but I would never think that one hypocrite tars everyone else who professes Christianity with the same brush.

And while I'm on the subject, you seem to be under the impression that if any poster defends your uncle (on the basis that you REALLY hadn't put your full case against him, and indeed still haven't) then they must be some sort of hypocritical supposed-Christian too, and so you will just sneer at their opinion. So, for the record, I make no claims to Christianity except on a cultural level, being an atheist.

And I still stand by my suggestion that this is festering with you and, for your own sake, you should deal with it.

Northernlebkuchen · 27/12/2009 19:34

Oh right of course - there's years and years of history isn't there? Of course there is Strange that you feel the need to wheel that one out only now......

So on the basis of one missed phonecall and a reluctance on the part of some mnet Christians to excommunicate your uncle and burn him at the stake, you now feel justified in condemning all Christians as hypocrites and general bad eggs?

Come on be honest - that was your starting point wasn't it? Exactly how threatened are you by the Christian faith? You've certainly spent a lot of time on this thread attacking anyone who espouses it. Personally I now think the whole uncle story is total bollocks and you just wanted to have a go.

Morloth · 27/12/2009 19:41

You shouldn't assume that everyone who has disagreed with you on this thread is a Christian.

I repeat this thread is weird, entertaining but weird.

lowenergylightbulb · 27/12/2009 19:46

I had all sorts of elderly/estranged/lonely relatives round to mine for xmas dinner this year and I'm an atheist.

Where do I fit into this conundrum?!

Morloth · 27/12/2009 19:50

You can't possibly be a good person lowenergy because you are not a Christian, only Christians can be good people and hence only Christians need to be held to any sort of standard.

I am a cranky mean bitch who did however call her Mother on Christmas and I kinda sort of believe that there is some sort of creative/powerful force in the universe and suspect that all of Earth's religions are worshipping the same thing. So no idea what sort of standard I need to be held to!

Peabody · 27/12/2009 19:51

We all know what the OP wants.

Your uncle? Didn't phone his mother, you say? Didn't visit? Well, that's a disgrace! And he calls himself a Christian! He should be publically horsewhipped on the steps of his church! He should be drummed out of the PCC!

The trouble is, it's catch 22. If the Christians rush in and judge him as unworthy, then they are breaking a central rule of Christianity about not judging others. So anyone who actually judges your uncle isn't a real Christian themself (or so it could be argued!). So it's going to be very hard to satisfy the OP here...

spokette · 27/12/2009 20:04

Spice

If your uncle was volunteering in a homeless shelter, would you still be as vitriolic and damning of his oversight in contacting his mother?

Given the choice of spending time with your uncle or you, going by this thread, your uncle wins hands down.

BetsyBoop · 27/12/2009 20:05

if it's really a case of

"There is a massive history which I haven't bored you all with where he has let my nan down time and again and my dad (and by extension the rest of us) have had to pick up the pieces."

then why did you post
"They get on fine - there are no issues in their relationship as far as I know - he visits her every other week and calls in the weeks he doesn't visit normally."

"She lives on her own (by choice) and every year she either spends Christmas with my family or my uncle's"

unless it was to try & stir things up with a half-story?

Peabody - exactly - "judge not less you be judged" or summat like that

AgentZigzagsAllGoosedOut · 27/12/2009 20:09

Just looking back on the thread, the OP is either, like northern pointed out, having a bit of a post-Christmas trolling sesh, or she's the kind of OP who can't handle the majority of posters saying she is being unreasonable and is having a bit of a go at christians as a sideline.

At the risk of repeating what's said on other threads when this happens, if you can't handle the answer to the question you're asking, don't post the question and then get shitty about it.

lowenergylightbulb · 27/12/2009 20:09

LOL Morloth!!

Northernlebkuchen · 27/12/2009 20:10

oooh yes Spokette - can't imagine uncle was exactly leaping for joy at the thought of bumping in to his brother or harridan niece over the festive season...

tinalane · 28/12/2009 09:43

He was remiss, one of the ten commandments is to honor your father & mother.

Christians like everyone else make mistakes all the time.

Jesus said he was like a doctor who has come for the sick, not the well. In other words he is here for those of aren't perfect (just about everyone!).

Is he having any problems that might have taken his mind off things?

I hope he has made contact by now!

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Swipe left for the next trending thread